When we imagine being a skilled critical thinker we have a tendency to focus on a person’s IQ and how we logically approach arguments. But there is another aspect of intelligence that we call Emotional Intelligence that needs to be understood if we are to better understand how we make quality decisions.
We are constantly exposed to a vast amount of emotional information about our world and ourselves. For years men have been told to hide their emotions and keep them to themselves, while women have been criticized that they are too emotional. In both cases, we have ignored the power of our emotions to help us be a success. The key is for us to use that information about the world and ourselves to be more effective. Recently, more and more companies are realizing the importance of a high EQ workforce and are bringing EQ into the workplace.
The phrase emotional intelligence was coined by Yale psychologist Peter Salovey and the University of New Hampshire’s John Mayer to describe qualities like understanding one’s own feelings, empathy for the feelings of others and “the regulation of emotion in a way that enhances living.” His goal is to redefine what it means to be smart. His thesis: when it comes to predicting people’s success, brainpower as measured by IQ and standardized achievement tests may actually matter less than the qualities of mind once thought of as character before the word began to sound quaint.
The following two definitions should help you better understand Emotional Intelligence.
“Emotional Intelligence is the ability that helps the individual to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence.”
--Robert K. Cooper and Ayman Sawaf,1Executive EQ
“Emotional Intelligence is the intelligent use of emotions: You intentionally make your emotions work for you by using them to help guide your behavior and thinking in ways that enhance your results.”
--Hendrie Weisinger2, Emotional Intelligence at Work
Emotional Intelligence is nothing new.
“Anyone can become angry—that’s easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not easy.” Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics
EQ is not the opposite of IQ. Some people are blessed with a lot of both, some with little of either. What researchers have been trying to understand is how they complement each other; how one’s ability to handle stress, for instance, affects the ability to concentrate and put intelligence to use. Perhaps the most visible emotional skills, the ones we recognize most readily, are the “people skills” like empathy, graciousness, and the ability to read a social situation.
In order for more of the candidates to pass the rigid requirements to become a SEAL the Navy implemented Emotional Intelligence training. A four-step process was taught to the candidates to help them stay in control of their emotions. As a result, the pass rate went from a quarter of the candidates to a third.
Goal Setting: Set small, short-term goals that work towards my larger goal. If my goal is to lose 30 pounds, then what am I going to do this week to lose 1 pound. Make that my goal.
Rehearsal: Go over in your mind the nervous situation you are going to be experiencing, be it a job interview or a speech you have to give. Then when you do the challenge, it will be for the second time.
Self-Talk: Tell yourself you can do it. Don’t let negative thoughts disrupt your confidence. This self-talk will keep you on track to success
Arousal Control: Taking a deep breath will help you reduce the anxiety you might have in a given situation. A “cleansing breath” is a deep intake of air through the nose, hold it for a moment and then a long, slow exhale through the mouth.
Reference
Robert K Cooper and Ayman Sawaf, Executive EQ Emotional Intelligence in Business (London: Texere, 2000)
Hendrie Weisinger, Emotional Intelligence at Work (San Fransisco: John Wiley and Sons, 1998)
