11.6: Summary and Review
Summary
In this chapter, we shed light on the dark side of communication. We live in a world where the quality of our interpersonal relationships can be directly linked to our personal well-being and happiness. Ironically, these same relationships can be the source of some of our greatest misery. Thus, it is important to study not only aspects of communication that can improve our interpersonal relationships, but also to develop an understanding of types of communication that may harm our well-being.
In this chapter we explored various communication aspects of the dark side of communication in interpersonal relationships, including deception, secret tests, jealousy, gaslighting, verbal abuse, intimate partner violence, and social media. We learned that communication can have both positive and negative effects on our relationships and personal well-being, but that some types of communication clearly fall solely on the dark side.
In addition, we highlighted specific communication techniques you can use to lighten the burden on the dark side. Throughout the chapter, we explored specific communication tools to help respond appropriately and effectively to the dark side of communication. Techniques such as perception checking, assertiveness, and setting boundaries can help you maintain open channels of communication while maintaining healthy boundaries. In addition, in this chapter we discussed several techniques for responding to the dark side of communication on social media, including setting appropriate boundaries for your own posts, as well as developing an effective response plan to negative messaging. Through examining the dark side of communication, we can hopefully learn to understand communication patterns and behaviors that both enhance and harm our relationships, and in turn, we can reveal the light and bright side of our partnerships.
As we develop our skills in interpersonal communication, it is important to be aware of how the light and dark sides of communication interact with one another. The light and dark sides of communication are interwoven, such that some unappealing behaviors (i.e., white lies) can lead to positive outcomes, and some desirable behaviors can lead to negative outcomes (i.e., self-disclosure on social media). It is important to remember to commit to honoring yourself, the other person, and the relationship. In doing so, you may lead to greater personal awareness, understanding of the other person, and relationship growth.
Discussion Questions
- Now that you are familiar with the dark side of communication, what areas of the dark side of communication do you believe to be most harmful to relationships?
- What areas of the dark side do you feel are impacting your current relationships? What communication strategies do you use to manage these challenges?
- Identity three communication strategies you have learned throughout this text that can help you respond to different areas of the dark side of communication.
- What communication behavior from the dark side have you witnessed or experienced on social media platforms? Are there any communication behaviors you have seen or experienced that are not included in the discussion of social media and the dark side that you believe should be included?
- Have you used or been on the receiving end of secret tests? How have you responded to secret tests in the past?
- Cultures have different views and expectations regarding deception. Under what circumstances do you believe it is appropriate to tell a lie?