6.2: Emotional Well-Being and Personal Safety
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Introduction
In our previous lesson, we explored some of the reasons that taking a proactive approach to physical health is important. But what about our emotional health?
The mind–body connection must be acknowledged and valued if we want to truly lead a balanced lifestyle—one that sets up the conditions for fulfillment and happiness in an increasingly hectic world. Learning ways to quiet the mind and improve mental focus can promote a sense of health and well-being. In addition to our emotional health, physical safety should also be a concern in today’s world. Having fun and enjoying life’s experiences are important, but we must also be mindful of our safety while doing so. Being aware of our surroundings, making good decisions, and learning to trust our instincts in dangerous situations can help reduce our risk of harm.
In this lesson, we explore strategies you can use to promote health and relieve stress in positive, proactive ways. You will also encounter useful strategies for keeping yourself safe in a variety of real-world situations.
Promoting Emotional Health
The number of students in higher education who have emotional health problems is steadily increasing (Duenwald 2004). According to the American College Health Association (2008), 31 percent of college students report that they have felt so depressed that it was difficult to function. Almost half of students say that they’ve felt overwhelming anxiety, and 60 percent report that they’ve felt very lonely.
Emotional health includes many factors. Your skill at managing stress and ability to build loving relationships are key. And so are your capacity to meet the demands of school and work and your beliefs about your ability to succeed. People with mental illness have thoughts, emotions, or behaviors that consistently interfere with these skills.
You can take simple and immediate steps to prevent emotional health problems—and cope with them if they do occur. Here are some other suggestions to promote your emotional health:
- Take care of your body. Your thoughts and emotions can get scrambled if you go too long feeling hungry or tired. Follow the suggestions in this lesson for eating, exercise, and sleep.
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Solve problems.
Although you can’t fix a bad feeling in the same way that you can fix a machine, you can choose to change a situation associated with that feeling. There might be a problem that needs a solution. You can use feelings as your motivation to solve that problem.
If you feel intense sadness, anger, or fear, think about whether it is related to a specific situation in your life. Describe the problem in a Discovery Statement. Then brainstorm solutions, choose one to implement, and write an Intention Statement to describe the next action you’ll take. Reducing your course load, cutting back on hours at work, getting more financial aid, delegating a task, or taking some other concrete action might solve the problem—and help you feel better. - Stay active. A related strategy is to do something— anything that’s constructive, even if it’s not a solution to a specific problem. For example, mop the kitchen floor. Clean out your dresser drawers. Iron your shirts. This sounds silly, but it works.
The basic principle is that you can separate emotions from actions. It is appropriate to feel miserable when you do. It’s normal to cry and express your feelings. It is also possible to go to class, study, work, eat, and feel miserable at the same time. Unless you have a diagnosable problem with anxiety or depression, you can continue your normal activities until the misery passes.
References
American College Health Association. “American College Health Association-National College Health Assessment II: Reference Group, Executive Summary Fall 2008.” www.acha- ncha.org/docs/ACHA-NCHA_Reference_Group_ExecutiveSummary_Fall2008.pdf (accessed March 15, 2011).
Duenwald, Mary. “The dorms may be great, but how’s the counseling?” New York Times, October 26, 2004. https://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/26/h...gy/26cons.html (accessed November 8, 2012).
Dealing with Stress
Japanese psychiatrist Morita Masatake, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud, based his whole approach to treatment on this insight: We can face our emotional pain directly and still take constructive action. One of Masatake’s favorite suggestions for people who felt depressed was that they tend a garden (Reynolds 1995, 98).
It’s easy to feel stressed if you dwell on how much you have to accomplish this year, this term, this month, or even this week. Focus on one task at a time.
Remember that an effective plan for the day does two things. First, it clarifies what you’re choosing not to do today. (Tasks that you plan to do in the future are listed on your calendar or to- do list.) Second, it reduces your day to a series of concrete tasks—such as making phone calls, going to classes, running errands, or reading chapters—that you can do one at a time.
If you feel overwhelmed, just find the highest-priority task on your to-do list. Do it with total attention until it’s done. Then go back to your list for the next high-priority task. Do it with total attention. Savor the feeling of mastery and control that comes with crossing each task off your list.
Don’t believe everything you think. According to Albert Ellis and other cognitive psychologists, stress results not from events in our lives but from the way we think about those events. If we believe that people should always behave in exactly the way we expect them to, for instance, we set ourselves up for misery. The same happens if we believe that events should always turn out exactly as we want. There are two main ways to deal with such thoughts:
- Don’t believe them. Dispute such thoughts and replace them with more realistic ones: I can control my own behavior but not the behavior of others , and Some events are beyond my control . Changing our beliefs can reduce our stress significantly.
- Release stress-producing thoughts without disputing them. Mindfulness meditation is a way to do this. While meditating, you simply notice your thoughts as they arise and pass. Instead of reacting to them, you observe them. Eventually, your stream of thinking slows down. You might enter a state of deep relaxation that also yields life-changing insights.
Many religious organizations offer meditation classes. You can also find meditation instruction through health maintenance organizations, YMCAs or YWCAs, and community education programs.
Reference
Reynolds, David. A Handbook for Constructive Living. New York: Morrow, 1995.
Dealing with Emotional Pain
Remember that emotional pain is not a sickness. Emotional pain has gotten a bad name. This reputation is undeserved. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad. It’s okay to feel miserable, depressed, sad, upset, angry, dejected, gloomy, or unhappy.
It might not be pleasant to feel bad, but it can be good for you. Often, bad is an appropriate way to feel. When you leave a place you love, sadness is natural. When you lose a friend or lover, misery might be in order. When someone treats you badly, it is probably appropriate to feel angry. When a loved one dies, it is necessary to grieve. The grief might appear in the form of depression, sadness, or anger.
There is nothing wrong with extreme emotional pain. If depression, sadness, or anger persists, then get help. Otherwise, allow yourself to experience these emotions. They’re often appropriate.
Sometimes, we allow ourselves to feel bad only if we have a good reason. For example: “Well, I feel very sad, but that is because I just found out my best friend is moving to Europe.” It’s all right to know the reason why you are sad. It’s also fine not to know. You can feel bad for no apparent reason. The reason doesn’t matter. Because you cannot directly control any feeling, simply accept it.
There’s no way to predict how long emotional pain will last. The main point is that it does not last forever. There’s no need to let a broken heart stop your life. Although you can find abundant advice on the subject, just remember a simple and powerful idea: This too shall pass.
Choosing to Rest
A lack of rest can decrease your immunity to illness and impair your performance in school. You still might be tempted to cut back drastically on your sleep once in awhile for an all-night study session, but depriving yourself of sleep is a choice you can avoid.
If you have trouble falling asleep, experiment with the following suggestions:
- Exercise daily. For many people, regular exercise promotes sounder sleep. However, finish exercising several hours before you want to go to sleep.
- Avoid naps during the daytime.
- Monitor your caffeine intake, especially in the afternoon and evening.
- Avoid using alcohol to feel sleepy. Drinking alcohol late in the evening can disrupt your sleep during the night.
- Develop a sleep ritual—a regular sequence of calming activities that end your day. You might take a warm bath and do some light reading. Turn off the TV and computer at least 1 hour before you go to bed.
- Keep your sleeping room cool.
- Keep a regular schedule for going to sleep and waking up.
- Sleep in the same place each night. When you’re there, your body gets the message that it’s time to go to sleep.
- Practice relaxation techniques while lying in bed. A simple one is to count your breaths and release distracting thoughts as they arise.
- Make tomorrow’s to-do list before you go to sleep so that you won’t lie there worrying that tomorrow you’ll forget about something you need to do.
- Get up and study or do something else until you’re tired.
- See a doctor if sleeplessness persists.
Share What You Are Feeling
Sometimes, other people—friends or family members, for example—have a hard time letting you feel bad. They might be worried that they did something wrong and want to make it better. They want you to quit feeling bad. Tell them you will—eventually. Assure them that you will feel good again, but that for right now you just want to feel bad.
Share what you’re thinking and feeling. Revealing your inner world with a family member or friend is a powerful way to gain perspective. The simple act of describing a problem can sometimes reveal a solution or give you a fresh perspective.
Get help. Remember a basic guideline about when to seek help: whenever problems with your thinking, moods, or behavior consistently interfere with your ability to sleep, eat, go to class, work, or create positive relationships.
You can get help at the student health center on campus. This is not just a service for treating colds, allergies, and flu symptoms. Counselors expect to help students deal with adjustment to campus, changes in mood, academic problems, and drug abuse and dependence.
Students with anxiety disorders, clinical depression, bipolar disorder, and other diagnoses might get referred to a professional outside the student health center. The referral process can take time, so seek help right away. Your tuition helps to pay for these services. It’s smart to use them now.
Finding Resources
You can find resources to promote emotional health even if your campus doesn’t offer counseling services. Start with a personal physician—one person who can coordinate all of your health care. (For suggestions, go to your school’s health center.) A personal physician can refer you to another health professional if it seems appropriate. These two suggestions can also work after you graduate. Promoting emotional health is a skill to use for the rest of your life.
Remember that suicide is no solution. While entering higher education, people typically go through major change. For some people, this involves depression and anxiety. Both are risk factors for suicide—the second leading cause of death on college campuses (Schaffer, Jeglic, and Stanley 2008).
Most often, suicide can be prevented. If you suspect that someone you know is considering suicide, do the following:
- Take it seriously. Taking suicidal comments seriously is especially important when you hear them from young adults.
- Listen fully. Encourage the person at risk to express thoughts and feelings appropriately. If he claims that he doesn’t want to talk, be inviting, be assertive, and be persistent. Be totally committed to listening.
- Speak powerfully. Let the person at risk know that you care. Trying to talk someone out of suicide or minimizing problems is generally useless. Acknowledge that problems are serious, but they can be solved. Point out that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
- Get professional help . Suggest that the person see a mental health professional. If she resists help, offer to schedule the appointment for her and to take her to it.
- Remove access to firearms. Most suicides are attempted with guns. Get rid of any guns that might be around. Also remove all drugs and razors.
- Handle the event as an emergency. If a situation becomes a crisis, do not leave the person alone. Call a crisis hotline, 911, or a social service agency. If necessary, take the person to the nearest hospital emergency room, clinic, or police station.
If you ever begin to think about committing suicide, seek out someone you trust. Tell this person how you feel. If necessary, make an appointment to see a counselor, and ask someone to accompany you. When you’re at risk, you deserve the same compassion that you’d willingly extend to another person.
Find out more from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255 or www.afsp.org. Another excellent resource is the It Gets Better Project at www.itgetsbetter.org.
Reference
Schaffer, M., E. L. Jeglic, and B. Stanley. “The relationship between suicidal behavior, ideation, and binge drinking among college students.” Archives of Suicide Research 12 (2008): 124–132.
Choose to Stay Safe
Staying safe in our everyday lives, whether on campus, at home, or around town, is not always within our control. However, there are many proactive steps you can take to protect yourself in a variety of situations. Remaining alert and being aware of your surroundings is important in any situation. In addition, following these simple actions can significantly increase your personal safety:
- Always lock doors when you’re leaving home. If you live in a dorm, follow the policies for keeping the front doors secure. Don’t let an unauthorized person walk in behind you. If you commute to school or have a car on campus, keep your car doors locked.
- Avoid walking alone, especially at night. Many schools offer shuttle buses to central campus locations. Use them. As a backup, carry enough spare cash for a taxi ride.
- Be prepared for a crisis. Ask your instructors about what to do in classroom emergencies. Look for emergency phones along the campus routes that you normally walk. You can always use your cell phone to call 911 for help.
- Be willing to make that call when you see other people in unsafe situations. For example, you might be at a party with a friend who drinks too much and collapses. In this situation, some underage students might hesitate to call for help. They fear getting charged with illegal alcohol possession. Don’t make this mistake. Every minute that you delay calling 911 puts your friend at further risk.
In addition to basic personal safety, you need to know how to prevent sexual assault while you’re on campus. This problem could be more common at your school than you think. People often hesitate to report rape for many reasons, such as fear, embarrassment, and concerns that others won’t believe them.
Both women and men can take steps to prevent rape from occurring in the first place:
- Get together with a group of people for a tour of the campus. Make a special note of danger spots, such as unlighted paths and unguarded buildings. Keep in mind that rape can occur during daylight and in well-lit places.
- Ask whether your school has escort services for people taking evening classes. These might include personal escorts, car escorts, or both. If you do take an evening class, ask whether there are security officers on duty before and after the class.
- Take a course or seminar on self-defense and rape prevention. To find these courses, check with your student counseling service, community education center, or local library.
If you are raped, get medical care right away. Go to the nearest rape crisis center, hospital, student health service, or police station. Also arrange for follow-up counseling. It’s your decision whether to report the crime. Filing a report does not mean that you have to press charges. And if you do choose to press charges later, having a report on file can help your case.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)
Another important part of personal safety is protecting yourself from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). People with an STD might feel no symptoms for years and not even discover that they are infected. Know how to protect yourself.
STDs can result from vaginal sex; oral sex; anal sex; or any other way that people contact semen, vaginal secretions, and blood. Without treatment, some of these diseases can lead to blindness, infertility, cancer, heart disease, or even death (Minnesota Department of Health 2010).
There are at least 25 kinds of STDs. Common examples are chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Sexual contact can also spread the human papillomavirus or HPV, the most common cause of cervical cancer, and the human immunodeficiency virus or HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Most STDs can be cured if treated early. (Herpes and AIDS are important exceptions, however.) Prevention is better. Some guidelines for prevention are as follows.
Abstain from sex. Abstain from sex or have sex exclusively with one person who is free of disease and has no other sex partners. These are the only ways to be absolutely safe from STDs.
Use condoms. Male condoms are thin membranes stretched over the penis prior to intercourse. Condoms prevent semen from entering the vagina. For the most protection, use latex condoms— not ones made of lambskin or polyurethane. Use a condom every time you have sex and for any type of sex.
Condoms are not guaranteed to work all of the time. They can break, leak, or slip off. In addition, condoms cannot protect you from STDs that are spread by contact with herpes sores or warts. Avoid condoms, lubricants, spermicides, and other products that contain nonoxynol-9, which can actually increase the risk of STDs.
Stay sober.
People are more likely to have unsafe sex when drunk or high.
Do not share needles.
Sharing needles or other paraphernalia with other drug users can spread
STDs.
Take action soon after you have sex. Urinate soon after you have sex. Wash your genitals with soap and water.
Get vaccinated. Vaccines are available to prevent hepatitis B and HPV infection. See your doctor.
Get screened for STDs. The only way to find out whether you’re infected is to be tested by a healthcare professional. If you have sex with more than one person, get screened for STDs at least once each year. Do this even if you have no symptoms. Remember that many schools offer free STD screening.
The more people you have sex with, the greater your risk of STDs. You are at risk even if you have sex only once with one person who is infected. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends chlamydia screening for all sexually active women under age 26 years. Women aged 25 or older should be screened if they have a new sex partner or multiple sex partners (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 2009).
Recognize the symptoms of STDs. Symptoms include swollen glands with fever and aching; itching around the vagina; vaginal discharge; pain during sex or when urinating; sore throat following oral sex; anal pain after anal sex; sores, blisters, scabs, or warts on the genitals, anus, tongue, or throat; rashes on the palms of your hands or soles of your feet; dark urine; loose and light-colored stools; and unexplained fatigue, weight loss, and night sweats.
Get treated right away. If you think you have an STD, go to your doctor, campus health service, or local public health clinic. Early treatment might prevent serious health problems.
Talk to your partner. Before you have sex with someone, talk about the risk of STDs. If you are infected, tell your partner.
References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Trends in reportable sexually transmitted diseases in the United States, 2007.” CDC.gov. http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats07/trends.htm (published January 13, 2009; accessed March 15, 2011).
Minnesota Department of Health. “Sexually transmitted disease
facts.” www.health.state.mn.us/divs/i...tssummary.html (published November 16, 2010; accessed November 8, 2012).