Skip to main content
Social Sci LibreTexts

20.5: Creating Positive Caregiver Parenting Relationships

  • Page ID
    142049
    • Amanda Taintor
    \( \newcommand{\vecs}[1]{\overset { \scriptstyle \rightharpoonup} {\mathbf{#1}} } \) \( \newcommand{\vecd}[1]{\overset{-\!-\!\rightharpoonup}{\vphantom{a}\smash {#1}}} \)\(\newcommand{\id}{\mathrm{id}}\) \( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\) \( \newcommand{\kernel}{\mathrm{null}\,}\) \( \newcommand{\range}{\mathrm{range}\,}\) \( \newcommand{\RealPart}{\mathrm{Re}}\) \( \newcommand{\ImaginaryPart}{\mathrm{Im}}\) \( \newcommand{\Argument}{\mathrm{Arg}}\) \( \newcommand{\norm}[1]{\| #1 \|}\) \( \newcommand{\inner}[2]{\langle #1, #2 \rangle}\) \( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\) \(\newcommand{\id}{\mathrm{id}}\) \( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\) \( \newcommand{\kernel}{\mathrm{null}\,}\) \( \newcommand{\range}{\mathrm{range}\,}\) \( \newcommand{\RealPart}{\mathrm{Re}}\) \( \newcommand{\ImaginaryPart}{\mathrm{Im}}\) \( \newcommand{\Argument}{\mathrm{Arg}}\) \( \newcommand{\norm}[1]{\| #1 \|}\) \( \newcommand{\inner}[2]{\langle #1, #2 \rangle}\) \( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\)\(\newcommand{\AA}{\unicode[.8,0]{x212B}}\)

    Connection Between Caregivers and Parents

    The relationship between the family and the caregiver is critical. For a family, the experience of entering an infant or toddler setting may be highly emotional. Family members often experience anxiety separating from their child and may feel conflicted about leaving their child.

    Caregivers actively promote attachment between a child and her family. Learning about each child's unique family, particularly the family members and others who care for the child, supports the child's significant relationships. When a child has a disability or other delay, early interventionists may also have a role in the care process. The teacher is the bridge connecting the child and family during the day: the more the teacher partners with the family in supporting attachment with their child, the more successful the child will be in the program. This collaborative relationship between families and caregivers benefits children in many ways. The quality of the relationship, the ease of two-way communication, and the mutual respect of expertise give both families and caregivers the information necessary to provide the best care and education for the child. It communicates to the child that their world is working in synchrony. The more respect and comfort shared between families and teachers, the more comfortable and secure the child is.

    The nature of relationships between programs and families has changed significantly. Historically, teachers and caregivers saw their role with parents as providing parent education and parent involvement opportunities, both more deficit-driven than strengths-based. Currently, there are more strengths-based and collaborative approaches to the program–family relationship. These approaches include family-centered care, transformative family engagement, and a pedagogical approach from educators in Reggio Emilia, Italy. They believe that "the participation of the families is just as essential as is the participation of children and educators" (Edwards, Gandini, and Forman 1998, 21).[1]

    The concept of family engagement (versus parent involvement) recognizes all members of a child's family (not just parents) and emphasizes the importance of the reciprocal relationship between families and schools. Program staff must be aware that family participation in both the program and the home can take on many forms and depend on each family's unique characteristics (Halgunseth et al. 2009). Family engagement occurs when there is an ongoing, reciprocal, and strengths-based partnership between families and early care programs (Halgunseth et al. 2009).[1]

    Principles of family engagement include:

    • encouraging and validating family participation in decision-making related to their children's education;
    • consistent, two-way communication through multiple forms that are responsive to a family's linguistic preference;
    • collaboration and exchange of knowledge;
    • collaboration between families and programs in creating learning activities in the home and community;
    • creation of a home environment that values learning;
    • collaboration between families and teachers in establishing home and school goals for children;
    • support and training for education professionals in creating a comprehensive system for promoting family engagement (Halgunseth et al. 2009).[1]

    The teachers in Reggio Emilia, Italy, also support the idea that family engagement, collaboration, and the sharing of mutual expertise strengthen the program for children, families, and teachers. "The ideas and skills that the families bring to the school and, even more importantly, the exchange of ideas between parents and teachers favors the development of a new way of educating and helps teachers to view the participation of families not as a threat but as an intrinsic element of collegiality and as the integration of different wisdoms" (Edwards, Gandini, and Forman 1998).[1]

    Families know the child's and family's history and significant events; the child's personality, routines and schedules; important relationships; style of exploring and learning; ways of communicating; disabilities; and health history. Taking time to understand important family knowledge is key to supporting infants’ and toddlers' healthy psychological and physical growth. Equally important is the communication to the family letting them know about their child's day, sharing updates and information about the day, communicating moments when their child is thinking about them, and recognizing the loving interactions you see between the child and parent.[1]

    Struggles and Challenges in Building Partnerships

    There are times when caregivers struggle to find a way to respect and build trust with a family. The teacher may feel like family members are not trying, do not understand their child, are not responsive to their child's cues, or care for their child in inappropriate ways. An infant or toddler caregiver needs to determine if the child is safe, but it is also important to understand the family along a developmental and cultural continuum. When we think about child development, we expect an infant to go through specific steps in learning. We do not expect him to walk before he can turn over. If we think about families along a similar developmental continuum, we may be better able to partner with them from a strengths-based perspective. For example, suppose a family is not reading their child's cues but is clearly excited to have a baby. In that case, you could acknowledge the love: "It is so clear how much you love your baby. I can see it in your eyes" and you could make a small observation: "I notice when you move from one side of the stroller to the other that Sammy is watching you. He is so observant." In this way, you are using a strengths-based approach to leverage a new perspective for the parent. Sometimes differences of opinion arise between the program and a family about how to care for children. Addressing these differences often provides opportunities for teachers to learn and grow together with families. Teachers must initiate conversations with family members to learn their thoughts about caring for their child. Even when a family belongs to the same cultural community as the teacher, the teacher's perspective may differ from the family, as each person interprets cultural rules and expectations differently.[1]

    When issues arise involving cultural differences, educators can use the three-step procedure of Acknowledge, Ask, and Adapt. To acknowledge is to communicate awareness of the issue, convey sincere interest and responsiveness, and involve the family in seeking a joint solution. To ask is to learn about the parent's precise point of view by restating what the parent is saying and paying attention to verbal and nonverbal responses. To adapt is to work with family members toward a solution by searching for areas of joint agreement and negotiating on the crucial issues (adapted from Virmani and Mangione 2013, 72–5).[1]


    [1] California Department of Education, Infant/Toddler Learning and Development Program Guidelines, Second Edition by the California Department of Education is used with permission


    This page titled 20.5: Creating Positive Caregiver Parenting Relationships is shared under a mixed 4.0 license and was authored, remixed, and/or curated by Amanda Taintor.