20.10: Parenting and Temperament
- Page ID
- 197623
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A caregiver’s ability to accurately read and work well with the child will determine the goodness-of-fit between the child’s temperament and parenting. The goal for parents is to provide a good fit or a good match, meaning their styles align well and communication and interaction can flow. The temperamentally active children can do well with parents who support their curiosity but could have problems in a more rigid family.
This goodness-of-fit between child temperament and parental demands and expectations can cause struggles. Rather than believing that discipline alone will improve children’s behavior, our temperament knowledge may help a parent, teacher, or other caregiver gain insight to work more effectively with a child. It is helpful to view temperamental differences as varying styles that can be responded to accordingly, as opposed to ‘good’ or ‘bad’ behavior. For example, a persistent child may find it difficult to distract from forbidden things such as electrical cords, but this persistence may serve her well in other areas, such as problem-solving. Positive traits can be enhanced and negative traits can be channeled. However, the child’s underlying style of reaction is unlikely to change. Temperament doesn’t change dramatically as we grow up, but if we are lucky, we learn how to work with and manage our temperamental qualities.
Parenting is bidirectional.
Not only do parents affect their children, but children also influence their parents. Child characteristics, such as temperament, affect parenting behaviors and roles. For example, an easy temperament infant may make parents feel more effective, as they can easily soothe the child and elicit smiling and cooing. On the other hand, a cranky or fussy infant elicits fewer positive reactions from his or her parents and may result in parents feeling less effective in the parenting role (Eisenberg et al., 2008). Over time, parents of more difficult children may become more punitive and less patient with their children (Clark et al., 2000; Eisenberg et al., 1999; Kiff et al., 2011). Parents who have a fussy, difficult child are less satisfied with their marriages and have greater challenges in balancing work and family roles (Hyde et al., 2004). Thus, child temperament is one of the child characteristics that influences how parents behave with their children.
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Human Development Copyright © 2020 by Human Development Teaching & Learning Group is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.