8.1: Introduction to Attraction, Love and Relationship Formation
After completing this module, students should have a working knowledge of:
- How initial attraction starts.
- What the variables are that lead us to perceive someone as physically attractive.
- Describe the ways that similarity and complementarity influence our liking for others.
- Define the concept of mere exposure, and explain how proximity influences liking.
- Explore the relationship between affect and attraction.
- Explain how initial attraction correlates with forming a romantic interest.
- Outline the factors that define close relationships.
- Distinguish between communal and exchange relationships.
- Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.
- Some research on romantic love and attention to others.
- The role of attachment style in close relationships.
- The impact of Internet behaviors on intimate relationships.
- Some important factors that can help romantic relationships to be successful.
- Some key factors that contribute to the ending of close relationships.
Introduction
Why do we like who we like? What factors lead to our decision? Does having consistent access to a person help grow this bond? Are we attracted to someone who we perceive as our equal, or do we prefer a hierarchy in our intimate relationships? Do gender roles have anything to do with this choice? Can you be attracted to someone and not like them? Are the two mutually exclusive? Could the answers to these questions be in part due cultural conditioning? This chapter will explore these questions. We will also look at romantic love within a cultural context and explore the science of falling in love. While some of these findings come from an evolutionary perspective that describes the biological need to reproduce, we understand that humans are much more complex than this and that most of us are attracted to people for a variety of reasons. We will explore all of this and then move into an understanding of how close relationships are formed, introducing Steinberg’s triangular theory of love. How do relationships form and thrive, and furthermore, what gets in the way?