11.2: Sexual Development in Early Childhood
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Historically, children have been thought of as innocent or incapable of sexual arousal (Aries, 1962). Yet, like all forms of human development, sexual development begins at birth in the form of physical sexual arousal. However, to associate this physical arousal with the elements of seduction, power, love, or lust that are part of the adult meanings of sexuality would be inappropriate. Sexuality begins in childhood as a response to physical states and sensation and cannot be interpreted as similar to that of adults in any way (Carroll, 2007). The physical changes continue to occur as children grow, and as they gain sexual knowledge and beliefs these later become associated with the physical sensations.
Infancy
Infants are capable of erections and vaginal lubrication even before birth (Martinson, 1981). In utero, infant self-stimulation has been observed too, but there is some debate about whether this behavior is purposeful.
As early as 16 weeks, erectile response in male fetuses has been viewed with ultrasound (Haffner, 1999; Martinson, 1994; Parrot, 1994). It is assumed it would be the same for female fetuses and that lubrication and clitoral erection would begin this early as well, although the technology for demonstrating it does not yet exist (Borneman, 1994; Martinson, 1994; Money, 1999). In newborn males, spontaneous erections continue to occur when awake and asleep, while female's vaginas lubricate and their clitorises swell (Money, 1999; Richardson & Schuster, 2003). Although the sexual response cycle is present at birth, many parents believe that infancy and childhood is a time of sexual innocence (meaning without sexuality) and that "sex is supposed to burst out full bloom at puberty or, hopefully, later" (Haroian, 2000; Martinson, 1973, p. 23, http://www.ejhs.org/volume11/Newman.htm).
Arousal can signal overall physical contentment and stimulation that accompanies feeding or warmth. Infants begin to explore their bodies and touch their genitals as soon as they have the sufficient motor skills. This stimulation is for comfort or to relieve tension rather than to reach orgasm (Carroll, 2007).
An element of sexually healthy development and developing a positive body image is feeling comfortable with and appreciating all body parts (Haffner, 1999). It is never too early to teach correct names for body parts (Richardson & Schuster, 2002). It is recommended that parents begin as soon as possible to use correct terms for the genitalia when speaking to their infants, because if they can't say the words "penis" or "vulva" to an infant who has no idea what they're saying, it's not going to get any easier when they get older and do know (Moglia, 2000). Starting early helps parents begin to feel comfortable using correct terminology. By not saying anything parents may be conveying uncomfortable feelings with genitalia and even a sense of shame about the genitalia. If the parent expresses disgust while diaper changing or cleaning their child’s genitalia, the child may internalize these reactions and begin to feel badly or shameful about their genitalia (Parrot, 1994). Although many parents don't display a negative attitude during diaper changes, few go as far as to show appreciation for the genitalia of their infants. How many parents go on about the cute little feeties, adorable belly, beautiful eyes, etc., but would never say what a wonderful penis or clitoris. An approving smile during diaper changes can make a difference in how children grow to feel about their bodies (Newman, 2008, Yates, 1978).
Early Childhood
Self-stimulation is common in early childhood for all children. Curiosity about the body and about others’ bodies is a natural part of early childhood as well. As children grow, they are more likely to show their genitals to siblings or peers, and to take off their clothes and touch each other (Okami, Olmstead, & Abramson, 1997). Masturbation is common for both boys and girls. Boys are often shown by other boys how to masturbate, but girls tend to find out accidentally. Additionally, boys masturbate more often and touch themselves more openly than do girls (Schwartz, 1999). In 2009, The National Traumatic Stress Network published Sexual Development and Behavior in Children which offers information and advice.
Hopefully, parents respond to this without undue alarm and without making the child feel guilty about their bodies. Instead, messages about what is going on and the appropriate time and place for such activities help the child learn what is appropriate. Although parents often become concerned when a child shows sexual behavior, such as touching another child’s private parts, these behaviors are not uncommon in developing children. Most sexual play is an expression of children’s natural curiosity and should not be a cause for concern or alarm. In general, “typical” childhood sexual play and exploration:
- Occurs between children who play together regularly and know each other well
- Occurs between children of the same general age and physical size
- Is spontaneous and unplanned
- Is infrequent
- Is voluntary (the children agreed to the behavior, none of the involved children seem uncomfortable or upset)
- Is easily diverted when parents tell children to stop and explain privacy rules
Some childhood sexual behaviors indicate more than harmless curiosity, and are considered sexual behavior problems. Sexual behavior problems may pose a risk to the safety and well-being of the child and other children. (For more on this topic, see the National Child Traumatic Stress Network’s factsheet, Understanding and Coping with Sexual Behavior Problems in Children: Information for Parents and Caregivers at http://nctsn.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/c...orproblems.pdf).
Sexual behavior problems include any act that:
- Is clearly beyond the child’s developmental stage
- Involves threats, force, or aggression
- Involves children of widely different ages or abilities
- Provokes strong emotional reactions such as anger or anxiety in the child
Parents and/or guardians play a pivotal role in helping their children develop healthy attitudes and behaviors towards sexuality. Although talking with children about sex may feel outside the parental comfort zone, there are many resources available to help parents begin and continue the conversation about sexuality. When parents are reluctant to talk to children about sex and anatomy, children find alternative sources from their peers, internet and porn sites. These sources may lead to misinformation. Providing close supervision, and providing clear, positive messages about boundaries and privacy are crucial as children move through the stages of childhood. By talking openly with children about relationships, intimacy, and sexuality, parents and guardians can foster their healthy growth and development.
Sexual Abuse
Childhood sexual abuse is defined as any sexual contact between a child and an adult or another child. Incest refers to sexual contact between a child and family members. In each of these cases, the child is exploited by an older person without regard for the child's developmental immaturity and inability to understand the sexual behavior (Steele, 1986). Research estimates that 1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 10 boys have been sexually abused (Valente, 2005). The median age for sexual abuse is 8 or 9 years for both boys and girls (Finkelhorn, Hotaling, Lewis, & Smith, 1990). Most children are sexually abused by a male. Although rates of sexual abuse are higher for girls than for boys, boys may be less likely to report abuse because of the cultural expectation that boys should be able to take care of themselves and because of the stigma attached to homosexual encounters (Finkelhorn et al., 1990). Girls are more likely to be abused by a family member and boys by strangers. Sexual abuse can create feelings of self-blame, betrayal, shame and guilt (Valente, 2005). Sexual abuse is particularly damaging when the perpetrator is someone the child trusts and may lead to depression, anxiety, problems with intimacy, and suicide (Valente, 2005).