10.3: Identity and Culture- Race/Ethnicity, Gender, and Sexuality in Adolescence
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Learning Objectives
By the end of this section, you will be able to:
- Describe the development of ethnic and multicultural identity during adolescence
- Discuss how adolescents can develop a bi/multiracial identity
- Outline the process of developing a gender identity in adolescence
- Describe the development of sexual orientation during adolescence
Sixteen-year-old Taylor looked forward to finally being a junior at their high school. The course choices open to upperclass students were more interesting and offered the opportunity to engage more closely with peers who shared similar interests. Taylor generally got along with the various cliques at school, and their closest friends were connections developed over the past few years. This included soccer teammates, lunch buddies (one of whom Taylor had a crush on), some gaming friends, and fellow Hmong students involved in the Hmong student club. Taylor's experiences with these various relationships and contexts serve an important role in establishing their identity at this stage of life.
Many social interactions are informed by our own and others’ expectations based on perceived racial and ethnic identity, gender identity, and sexual orientation and identity. Thus, a key part of healthy adolescence is searching for our own identity by exploring these areas.
Racial and Ethnic Identity Development in Adolescence
Our cultural heritage consists of adaptations to the natural and social world that have shared meaning and are passed from generation to generation (Cohen, 2009). Our ethnicity derives from our cultural heritage. Race , in contrast, is a socially created construct that often incorporates elements of cultural heritage. (Revisit 1.4 Contexts and Settings of Development to review the overlaps and distinctions between race, ethnicity, and culture.) Learning about and incorporating our cultural heritage into our sense of self is part of the multifaceted achievement of identity .
The demographics of any country’s population are always changing. In the United States, the 2020 census revealed that the overall size of many ethnoracial minority groups is increasing, especially among youth (Figure 10.7). According to the census, only 53 percent of those under age eighteen years were reported as “White alone” as their race, compared with 64.1 percent of adults. Black or African American children make up 13.9 percent of the U.S. population, Asian American children 5.5 percent, and American Indian and Alaska Native children 1.4 percent, and fully 15.1 percent of all children identified as being of two or more races. More than one-quarter of all children report having Hispanic or Latino heritage, compared with 16.8 percent of the adult population (U.S Census Bureau, 2020). 1
These figures point out the value of specific developmental theories and trajectories for adolescents from non-White backgrounds. They also show the irony of using the term “minority” to describe the ethnoracial composition of the United States. Of course, the term “minority” refers to more than just population counts. That is, when people talk about minority or majority groups in psychology, they refer to both the numbers and the opportunities each group has. Similarly, when discussing equity, diversity, and inclusion ( EDI ), it usually means efforts to ensure all groups have equal chances and access, no matter whether they are a majority or minority group status. For example, research on African American, Asian American, and Latinx adolescents shows that these students experience more regular ethnic/racial discrimination, such as in school, which results in more negative mood and poorer mental health (Del Toro et al., 2024). 2 These experiences are often due to systemic issues like racial bias and may lead to fewer opportunities in adulthood including lower wages and fewer promotion opportunities. However, this research study also showed how resilience was quite likely when adolescents received more culturally inclusive socialization (Del Toro et al., 2024).
Research shows that the development of a positive ethnic or racial identity in teens leads to higher self-esteem, better mental health, and greater resilience against discrimination (Rivas-Drake et al., 2014). This positive identity fosters a sense of belonging and empowerment.
The Benefits of Positive Ethnic or Racial Identity Development
The term “ ethnoracial ” highlights the unique racial experiences of individuals within an ethnicity. Black, White, Asian, and Indigenous Latinés each have distinct racial experiences, as do all individuals within each of these groups (Sandoval, 2023; Jiménez et al., 2015). In other words, ethnoracial groups have differences both between groups and within individuals who may share the same ethnoracial identity. For a growing proportion of the adolescent population, developing a positive ethnic and/or racial identity is a critical part of healthy development (Rivas-Drake et al., 2014). A positive ethnoracial identity is one in which the adolescent acknowledges and feels connected with their community, incorporates their social group into their self-concept , and views that part of themselves with healthy esteem. This result is associated with numerous healthy outcomes and has been shown to serve as a safeguard against discrimination (Galliher et al., 2011; Umaña-Taylor & Rivas-Drake, 2021).
For example, Umaña-Taylor and colleagues (2018) conducted a study on a high school intervention called the Identity Project , aimed at developing ethnoracial identity in youth of color. The eight-session program, which addressed identity, stereotypes, racism, and heritage, led to increased ethnoracial identity exploration and better psychological outcomes, including improved coping skills against discrimination. White adolescents may also benefit from developing a healthy ethnoracial identity even when they may be growing up in a White majority culture (Satterthwaite-Freiman & Umana-Taylor, 2023). While White is a racial term, White identities may involve overlapping aspects of cultural and/or national heritage, ethnicity, and race. Research indicates that White American adolescents may choose between a few facets of ethnoracial identity, including an American identity, a sense of connection to their European ancestry (e.g., Irish, German, or Polish ancestry), a connection to an ethnic community (e.g., a local Greek community in an American city), or a blended identity (Koutrelakos, 2013; Satterthwaite-Freiman & Umana-Taylor, 2023).
A comprehensive review of positive ethnoracial identity found that for African American youth, a positive ethnic identity leads to higher self-esteem, a more positive self-concept, higher academic achievement and engagement, decreased depressive and somatic symptoms (bodily manifestations of psychological distress), better coping and mastery, and decreased perceived stress, especially about discrimination (Rivas-Drake, et al., 2014). 3 For Latino youth, affirmation of their Latino community was associated with higher self-esteem and increased exploration of their culture and community. Such youth also exhibited fewer internalizing symptoms (like depression and anxiety) and less externalizing behavior (such as acting out in a problematic way). There were also positive influences on academic engagement, self-efficacy, and school performance.
Adolescent Development of Black Identity
Psychology researcher William Cross described an entire developmental pathway for the way Black youth achieve an identity (Cross, 1991, 1995, 2022; 4 Burrell-Craft, 2020). His theory posits a series of stages encountered in sequence, though movement back and forth between the stages is possible. Prior to adolescence, children are in the pre-encounter phase of racial identity formation. They internalize messages from the dominant majority culture that emphasize the majority as being positive and that view the minority culture negatively. As a result of exposure to the dominant cultural view, Black children and adolescents may distance themselves from Black culture (Gardner-Kitt & Worrell, 2007).
Adolescence marks the typical beginning of the encounter phase . This encounter is often a negative trigger, such as the experience of outright discrimination in the social environment adolescents are now more broadly exposed to. They begin trying to reconcile their ethnoracial identity with what they thought they knew or understood about the dominant cultural group. Often, this means turning toward their ethnoracial group and seeking to learn more about this part of themselves. This stage is called immersion/emersion . Black youth in this stage will begin to incorporate visible parts of their heritage into their everyday lives and find support from other Black community members.
The immersion/emersion stage can be seen as a kind of fortifying step, in which “ cultural armor ” is added. Eventually, developing youth will internalize the more visible and concrete symbols of their heritage, incorporating its ideas and concepts into their own self-view. It is during this internalization stage that Black youth feel more comfortable connecting with allies from the dominant culture, and they may then seek positive action and justice in their lives, effectively using their strong ethnoracial identity to make a difference. For example, a Black teenager might join a school club that focuses on social justice, working alongside peers of different backgrounds to promote equality and awareness in their community.
Adolescent Development of Latino and Hispanic Identity
The Latino community is a heterogenous group, with between- and within-family differences by country of birth; heritage; and racial, indigenous, immigration, and documentation background (Pew Research Center, 2022). 5 Many Latino youths in the United States are raised in Spanish-speaking households, with varying levels of social interactions with other communities and multiple connections with both Latino and non-Latino youths (Patten, 2016; U.S. Census Bureau, 2014).
A leading theory of identity formation for Latino youth proposes not a sequence of stages, but rather a set of “orientations or lenses” (Pabón Gautier, 2016; 6 Ferdman & Gallegos, 2001 7 ) that describe various degrees of identification. For example, some Latino youth raised in predominately White areas have only weak identification with their Latino heritage or background (Torres, 2003) 8 . Latinos with darker skin tones are much less likely to identify as White and more likely to identify with non-White labels like Afro-Latinx (Flores, 2023). 9 Others are “Undifferentiated,” accepting the dominant culture and adopting colorblindness as a stance. That is, they focus on the similarities among ethnoracial groups and claim not to recognize either positive or negative qualities based on ethnicity or race (Ferdman & Gallegos, 2001). A Pew Research Center survey by Gonzales-Barrera (2019) 10 found that light-skinned Hispanic people had similar experiences with discrimination as non-Hispanic White people. Around 25 percent of both groups reported feeling that others were suspicious of them, and about 20 percent said they faced unfair treatment in pay or hiring. About half the Hispanic respondents identified as White, with 68 percent of those with the lightest skin tones doing so. While skin tone affected the way Hispanic people were treated, for Black people, discrimination was more influenced by factors like gender and education level.
Other lenses include “Latino as Other,” meaning the individual views themselves generically as Latino with no specific country or cultural connection, and “Subgroup Identified,” whose members accept a regional subgroup identification (Central American, for example) (Ferdman & Gallegos, 2001). Finally, those who fully acknowledge and accept their specific Latino heritage, “Latino Identified,” and those who take a more change-oriented “Latino Integrated” view, show full achievement of a Latino identity, and an understanding of the racial structure of society and of ways to push back and challenge these structures (Ferdman & Gallegos, 2001).
You might note a similarity between these lenses and Cross’s Black Identity Development model. For example, a teenager who identifies as Afro-Latino might embrace both their African and Latino heritage, actively participating in cultural events from both backgrounds and challenging stereotypes. Latino identity is multifaceted and influenced by a combination of cultural, racial, and societal factors, emphasizing the importance of understanding and respecting this diversity within the community.
Link to Learning
What is Afro-Latino? This video explores the cultural impact of identity at the intersection of two minorities (Black and Latino).
Adolescent Development of Asian American and Pacific Islander Identity
The 2020 U.S. Census counted 20.6 million individuals who identified as having Asian, Native Hawaiian, or Pacific Islander heritage, representing 6.2 percent of the overall U.S. population (U.S. Census Bureau, 2020). Statistics Canada reports over seven million Asian Canadians, or 19.3 percent of Canada’s population (Statistics Canada, 2024).
Psychiatrist Jean Kim (Kim, 1981, 2001; Choi, 2021; Woo et al., 2020) identified a model that envisions the process of Asian American ethnic identity formation along a continuum, from early childhood through adolescence and into adulthood. Individuals begin by becoming aware of an Asian American ethnicity, and much of the process takes place via interactions with parents and community members. Children are sensitive to both positive and negative messages, conveyed both outright and informally in these interactions.
According to Kim (1981, 2001), as they begin formal schooling, Asian American children tend to enter a White identification stage . They encounter attitudes toward Asian-Americans, including prejudices, through interactions with peers and the school environment. Ethnic and racial discrimination and social ranking greatly shape the way minority youth experience being part of a minority. As a result, they frequently choose to (temporarily) minimize their ethnic heritage and identify with the dominant White culture.
You’ve learned about the increased cognitive skill set that comes with the development of formal operations in children, and the increased opportunities for social interaction afforded by an adolescent’s rich and complex social environment. Together these tend to lead to an awakening to social and political consciousness for Asian American youth. The trigger is often the awareness of long-standing prejudices and oppression of minority groups, including their own. This is consistent with what researchers have seen with other ethnic identity models—the impetus to develop an ethnic identity often arises from a negative encounter with the dominant ethnic group (Cross et al., 2022; Sellers et al., 2006).
The result, according to Kim (1981, 2001), is a decreased desire to identify with the White majority group, and a redirection stage wherein Asian American adolescents search for knowledge about their ethnic heritage. There is often a sense of anger about the dominant White culture during this search. Finally, adolescents arrive at an incorporation stage : adoption of a positive view of themselves as Asian American and a level of comfort with this aspect of their identity. Notably, anger, distancing from, and even longing to identify with White-dominant culture have faded as the teen or young adult embraces their Asian American identity.
American Indian and Alaska Native (AI/AN) Identity Development in Youth
U.S. Census Bureau statistics reveal that from 2017 to 2021, 2.7 million U.S. residents identified solely as American Indian and Alaska Native (AI/AN), while 6.3 million identified as AI/AN alone or in combination with other races. Among those aged five years and older, 32.1 percent spoke a non-English language at home, and 58.9 percent of those age sixteen years and over were part of the labor force (U.S. Census Bureau, 2023). 11
Walters (1999) 12 suggested a model for urban American Indian cultural identity development, where individuals move from internalizing negative stereotypes, to feeling marginalized between two cultures, to rejecting colonization's negative impacts, and finally to having a strong and resilient American Indian identity. A study with urban American Indian adults showed they often started by rejecting their Native identity and ended up embracing it healthily (Lucero, 2010). 13 Kulis and colleagues (2013) 14 found that urban American Indian youth who felt strongly connected to their Indigenous background participated more in traditional cultural practices. In another study, House and colleagues (2006) 15 found that urban American Indian children and adults talked about urban-rural tension, cultural pride, and intergenerational trauma from relocation, which influenced their identity. Thus, American Indian youth often move from internalizing negative stereotypes to embracing a resilient cultural identity, with connections to traditional practices and awareness of intergenerational trauma influencing their identity development.
The lack of Native American representation in modern media affects this group’s identity and self-understanding. When represented, Native Americans are often portrayed as outdated figures or negative stereotypes, limiting the perception of what they can achieve in today's society. Leavitt et al., (2015) 16 noted that the lack of representation in the media harms Native American youths’ self-understanding by making their identities all seem the same, creating limited and narrow identity examples, and leading to loss of individuality and self-stereotyping among Native American teenagers today. Further, policymakers and educators should support schools in avoiding harmful and negative representations, like mascots, that stereotype and potentially harm Native American students.
Biracial or Multiracial Ethnic Identity
A growing number of individuals are members of two or more ethnic groups. Carlos Poston (1990) 17 put forth a model of biracial ethnic development that shows the complex and active search for information about their ethnic heritage that biracial adolescents may undergo.
In Poston’s model, biracial ethnic identity formation begins with the individual’s feeling a need to choose one ethnic group over the other. For example, an Afro-Caribbean teen whose family has immigrated from Jamaica to the United States may feel the need to first identify with her Black ethnoracial identity and de-emphasize her Caribbean heritage. Alternatively, they may feel the need to first identify with their Caribbean heritage while de-emphasizing their Black ethnoracial identity. Choosing one ethnicity over the other may simplify the cultural learning that forms the basis of identity formation . Later, as the model points out, the teen may experience a sense of guilt for exclusively embracing just one aspect of their ethnoracial heritage, often leading to reexamination and further exploration of the other. The end of the process of biracial identity formation often brings a growing appreciation of the benefits of adopting multiple ethnic identities, including a sense of belonging and connection with the person’s heritage (Poston, 1990). Identity formation is complete when the adolescent works to integrate both (or more) sets of cultural knowledge and identities into a coherent whole.
One potential benefit of being bi- or multiracial is code-switching, the ability to change our perspective and behavior to match the demands of our current cultural environment.
Code-switching can include changing hairstyle, speech, or name or downplaying cultural identity to avoid negative stereotypes (Hutton, 2022). For example, someone might switch between formal and casual language depending on who they're with. But code-switching can be exhausting (Johnson et al., 2021) and make someone feel they must change who they are to be accepted. Creating inclusive environments that embrace diversity and encourage alliance can help minimize the need.
Link to Learning
This video shares the experiences of people who code-switch to succeed in the larger culture, especially their workplaces.
Gender Identity in Adolescence
Gender is a major component of self-concept and a major part of our overall identity. Recall that sex is assigned based on features of biological anatomy and physiology, and it can be male, female, or intersex, while gender consists of society’s ideas about the roles, attitudes, and behaviors associated with each sex assignment. Gender identity is our own psychological sense and acceptance of our particular gender. The way we label our gender identity is also related to whether it conforms to society’s expectations based on sex assignment, denoted as “cis” if it conforms to those expectations, or “trans” if it is nonconforming.
Ideas about sex and gender constitute some of the earliest social influences on our development, and individuals enter adolescence with an abundance of information about gender and gender norms. For many, gender identity follows from a sense of congruence among their physical sexual characteristics, their assigned gender at birth based on those sexual characteristics, and a childhood of socially reinforced gender-conforming behaviors (Diamond & Butterworth, 2008; Steensma, et al., 2013).
The gender intensification hypothesis (Hill & Lynch, 1983) posits that pressures to conform to gender roles intensify during adolescence, leading to increased self-consciousness and lower self-esteem in girls than in boys. In many European societies, boys are encouraged to demonstrate autonomy, self-assertion, and dominance, while girls are typically taught to prioritize kindness, caring, compassion, and a focus on others (Kollmayer et al., 2018). This study found that fathers' gender-role identities influenced these dynamics; traditional fathers discouraged autonomy in daughters, while egalitarian fathers encouraged it. Fathers of sons were less likely to closely monitor their sons, thereby allowing for more autonomy.
Researchers have also investigated the way gender roles develop in families in childhood through adolescence (Shanahan et al., 2007; Crouter et al., 2007). They found that the chores performed by boys and girls became more gender-specific over time, especially in families that adhered to traditional gender roles. In childhood and adolescence, youth also spent more time with the same-gender parent, particularly if they had different-gender siblings. Girls reported feeling more warmth from their mothers and less from their fathers than their brothers reported. Attitudes toward gender roles changed differently for boys and girls as they grew older, influenced by family context and individual characteristics. Girls became less traditional, while boys initially became less traditional but then became more traditional later.
Another study explored whether adolescents became more gender-stereotypical, and whether doing so predicted depression (Priess et al., 2009). Girls reported higher stereotypical femininity than boys, but no increase in stereotypical gender traits was found over time. Higher stereotypical masculinity in both girls and boys predicted fewer depressive symptoms, especially under moderate stress (Priess et al., 2009). These changes mostly happened during the transition to adolescence.
A recent study used the gender identity theory to explore cultural interest differences between different-gendered adolescents. A sample of Flemish adolescents found that identifying strongly with traditional gender roles and feeling pressure to conform led girls to have more interest in arts and literature, while boys had much less interest (Lagaert et al., 2017). Gender identity and social pressures may reinforce gender-specific cultural preferences.
A feeling of mismatch or discontent with their socially assigned gender serves as the impetus for some adolescents to begin exploration of gender identity (Steensma, et al, 2013). This discontent is likely amplified by the dramatic hormonal and bodily changes that occur during puberty for all adolescents. The developing adolescent’s new reasoning skills also strengthen their ability to question the status quo and imagine what is possible. The increased number of social interactions, especially with peers, also gives the developing individual many opportunities for social comparison, modeling, and feedback.
Behavior does not match society's expectations for our assigned gender is gender nonconforming behavior. For instance, a boy wearing a skirt, makeup, and nail polish may be considered gender nonconforming in a culture or community where skirts, makeup, and nail polish are associated with femininity. Some adolescents explore their gender by trying out new roles and personal styles, much as they undergo a process of exploration and commitment in their overall identity. However, there are many other ways adolescents may explore and commit to a gender identity, including seeking support from health-care providers. Gender nonconforming youth may also benefit from support from health-care professionals particularly as they are at a higher risk of peer victimization. One study of Thai students found that female adolescents and gender nonconforming female adolescents were at a higher risk of social and sexual victimization which in turn increased risks of depression (Cheung et al., 2020).
The formation of gender identity is an important process for transgender and gender nonconforming youth. This process often begins with a sense of incongruence between the gender identity an individual was assigned at birth and their experienced sense of gender identity in early and/or middle childhood (Zaliznyak et al., 2021; Oh et al., 2024). Adolescence and early adulthood represent a pivotal time in gender identity formation, often culminating in a variety of different gender-affirming choices in establishing identity (Oh et al., 2024). These choices vary but may include a combination of socioemotional, legal, medical, surgical, and non-surgical pathways to establishing an identity that will promote wellbeing and long term mental health (Oh et al., 2024; Katz-Wise et al., 2017). Early support for and knowledge of gender identity development, including gender-affirming care, lead to improved quality of life and the healthy development of gender identity as adolescents mature (Oh et al., 2024; Katz-Wise et al., 2017).
About 25 percent of the world's languages assign each noun a gender: masculine, feminine, or neuter. However, some cultures go beyond the binary view and acknowledge, for example, the hijra in India, two-spirit in some Native American tribes, and men-women in Balkan communities (Turban et al., 2018). Cultural changes in the United States have yielded greater awareness of gender possibilities and brought youth a bit more freedom to explore and choose among man, woman, nonbinary, cisgender, transgender, genderfluid, and agender.
Link to Learning
Explore the concept of gender identity with the Trevor Project. Here you will find clear and concise definitions to help you understand the spectrum of gender identities.
Sexual Orientation in Adolescence
Another important aspect of identity development in adolescence is sexual orientation —the sex of those to whom we are sexually, emotionally, and/or romantically attracted (American Psychological Association, 2012; Worthington et al., 2002).
Heterosexual Identity Development
The term heteronormativity refers to the idea that heterosexuality is the norm or preferred sexual orientation, and that opposite-sex people of different sexes or genders are best suited for sexual and marital relationships. Most sexual identities are heterosexual -- or straight -- in orientation. Because it is the norm, people with this identity are not often as conscious of it, and it fades into their psychological (and sociological) background. In fact, only recently has psychology begun outlining the developmental process by which someone develops a specifically heterosexual identity (Hoffman, 2004; Ybarra et al., 2016).
Consistent with the biopsychosocial approach, for example, Worthington and colleagues (2002) proposed a model that sees heterosexual identity development as influenced by biology, culture, religion, gender norms, and social attitudes. As adolescents explore their sexuality, these factors help them form a clear sexual identity in which their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors align. The model highlights the value of recognizing and accepting our sexual needs and preferences.
Sexual Minority Identity Development
Roughly 7.1 percent of individuals in the United States identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBTQ+) (Jones, 2022). In 2015, when the national Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) first incorporated questions about sexual identity and behavior, Kann et al. (2016) documented that 6.0 percent of U.S. high school students identified as bisexual, 2.0 percent identified as gay or lesbian, and 3.2 percent were unsure of their sexual identity .
The development of one's sexual identity has long been considered a central task of adolescence (Erikson, 1968), but much more is known about the sexual identity development of members of sexual minority groups, those who eventually come to identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or another sexual identity (LGBTQ+). Research on LGBTQ+ individuals began from the perspective that their sexuality was a mental illness (Hall et al., 2021), but over the last few decades, psychology has seen it instead as part of a continuum of normative human experience.
Early research on adolescents who identify as gay and lesbian sought to outline a sequence of typical stages on the way to forming and accepting a sexual identity (Cass 1996; Aglipay, 2014). In this view, revealing a gender identity or sexual status different from our birth assignment is a complex process that requires time and reflection and may unfold gradually over developmental stages. Subsequent research suggests milestones instead of a process (Savin-Williams & Cohen, 2015). These markers include first becoming aware of same-sex attractions, engaging in same-sex sexual activity, self-identifying as LGBTQ+, coming out to others, questioning the orientation, feeling different from others, and having a same-sex romantic relationship (Hall et al., 2021).
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, or asexual identity intersects with other parts of a person's identity, like race, socioeconomic status, ability, and religion. Different ethnic groups may have unique views on LGBTQ+ identity due to cultural norms around family, religion, and sexuality (Greene, 1994). For example, people of color may avoid openly disclosing their LGBTQ+ identity to prevent further marginalization and may face rejection from both their ethnic and LGBTQ+ communities, leading to multiple forms of oppression and a sense of abandoning their ethnic identity (Akerlund & Cheung, 2000).
A recent study examined how the timing and pacing of sexual identity development milestones differ across subgroups of Black, White, and Latino sexual minority individuals in the United States (Bishop et al., 2020). 18 Using data from participants aged eighteen to sixty years, it found that more recent cohorts reported earlier and faster milestone achievement than older cohorts. Gay men and those using newer identity labels (e.g., pansexual) reached milestones earlier, and Black and Latino participants reached some earlier than White participants (Bishop et al., 2020). A large-scale review of all existing literature revealed the average age at which various sexual-minority individuals reached the milestones (Table 10.3). Note the average age of first sexual attraction is around twelve to thirteen years of age, while the average age of first sexual contact is eighteen years of age (Hall et al., 2019). This indicates that LGBTQ+ youth are experiencing first sexual contact about a year later than heterosexual youth (National Center for Health Statistics, 2017).
| Milestone | Average Age Reached for LGBTQ+ Persons | Social Group Differences |
|---|---|---|
| First sexual attraction | 12.7 years |
|
| First sexual contact | 18.1 years |
|
| Self-identified as LGBTQ+ | 17.8 years |
|
| Started coming out | 19.6 years |
|
| First romantic relationship | 20.9 years |
|
Gender differences are mixed. For instance, men may take longer to come out and pursue LGBTQ+ relationships due to higher levels of internalized stigma (Barnes & Meyer, 2012). They often realize their same-sex attraction earlier than women and reach some milestones earlier, but they take longer to disclose their sexual identity after recognizing it (Martos et al., 2015; Katz-Wise et al., 2017). Bisexual people were found to reach the milestones later than gay or lesbian people. Bisexual and lesbian women typically reach significant life milestones at older ages than bisexual and gay men (Katz-Wise et al., 2017).
A recent study of teenagers (born after 1997) showed that White LGBTQ+ teens are more likely to be open about their sexuality than Black and Asian teens. Gay teens are more open than bisexual or questioning teens, and those who experienced more victimization are also more open. Factors that made teens less likely to be open and more hesitant to come out include being religious, attending religious services, and feeling higher internalized stigma. Overall, outness among teens varies by sociocultural factors (Moskowitz et al., 2022). Younger cohorts may reach these milestones earlier, likely due to changing sociocultural attitudes and increased acceptance of sexual minorities.
Heterosexual youth generally experience their first romantic relationship between 16.6 and eighteen years of age (Hall et al., 2021), as much as four years earlier than do LGBTQ+ individuals. Thus, although the cultural landscape is quickly changing, social pressures and differential opportunities remain, resulting in a partially delayed timeline for today’s LGBTQ+ youth. A positive environment for LGBTQ+ teens reduces stigma, leading to sexual identity development that aligns more closely with that of heterosexual youth and with the overall process of identity development. To support LGBTQ+ individuals in coming out, we can create safe spaces, provide access to supportive counseling, foster inclusive education, and encourage open and accepting dialogue within families and communities.
Life Hacks: How to Support a Teen Who Is Coming Out
About 60 percent more teens now identify as gay, bisexual, queer/questioning, or pansexual than in 2005. Most report at least a dawning awareness of their sexual orientation as early as childhood; many came out to their parents in adolescence or young adulthood. The rate and timing of these disclosures are crucial, because openness about our identity has both positive and negative health outcomes. Recall that identity is multifaceted, and exploring and committing to an identity across various aspects of our selves is beneficial to socioemotional well-being.
Coming out is the process of disclosing our sexual orientation to others, and it may be lifelong. One of the leading models envisions six stages in the process (Cass, 1979). It begins with identity confusion and a quest for information about sexual-minority identities. The individual may then progress to initial tolerance and eventually full acceptance of their sexual identity. Finally, they often experience a blossoming, in which they develop a sense of pride and integrate their sexual identity into their self-concept. This process takes time, and the patience and support of others are critical throughout. While the process was documented by Cass based on research and widespread experience, it is not a blueprint and does not reflect the development and emotions of all people. Individuals explore and determine their identity at their own pace and in their own way, and supporters should not emplace expectations or assumptions on others.
How can caregivers, teachers, peers, and mentors support young teens when they come out? PFLAG, the leading advocacy organization for LGBTQ+ individuals in the United States offers this advice:
- Show your love. Remind the person they are loved, no matter how complex your feelings may be. A simple hug conveys a sense of belonging, acceptance, and love.
- Be open to listening. Someone newly coming out likely doesn’t have all the words and answers, and you might not either. This is only the beginning of a journey. Practice active listening skills. Feel free to ask open-ended questions when the timing seems right to let the person know you are there to listen—a key step for mutual understanding.
- Show support. If overt actions don’t feel right yet, subtle acts can still send powerful messages of support and acceptance. Talk positively about a movie or TV character who is LGBTQ+. Mention news items relevant to sexual minorities to convey your awareness and support of the issues.
- Learn the vocabulary. Many terms associated with the LGBTQ+ community overlap or have nuanced meanings. You may make mistakes, but willingness to learn about and use the terminology is a concrete way to show support.
- Take care of yourself. Go for a walk, practice mindfulness, and give yourself time to sort through your own thoughts and emotions as you consider this complex aspect of the person’s identity.
- Start early by being aware of your language, including to very young children. One way to signal you are an ally is to avoid heteronormative language like “Oh, the boys will be banging down your door one day!” when complimenting a female youth, or “I bet the girls love you!” when complimenting a male youth.
Link to Learning
If you or someone you know is an LGBTQ+ young person who needs information or support, reach out to The Trevor Project for help. Text 678-678, call 1-866-488-7386, or chat through their website to reach a counselor for immediate support. You can also connect with other LGBTQ+ young people through The Trevor Project.
References
Aglipay, F. A. (2014). The Cass' theory of sexual identity formation: A study of the complexities of queer identity development. Journal of Psychology Research, 4 (6), 411–418. https://www.semanticscholar.org/pape...7e2b16ba98f92f
Akerlund, M., & Cheung, M. (2000). Teaching beyond the deficit model: Gay and lesbian issues among African Americans, Latinos, and Asian Americans. Journal of Social Work Education, 36 (2), 279–292. https://www.academia.edu/27749974/Te..._Deficit_Model Barnes, D. M., & Meyer, I. H. (2012). Religious affiliation, internalized homophobia, and mental health in lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 82 (4), 505–515. psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1111/...5.2012.01185.x
Bishop, M. D., Fish, J. N., Hammack, P. L., & Russell, S. T. (2020). Sexual identity development milestones in three generations of sexual minority people: A national probability sample. Developmental Psychology, 56 (11), 2177–2193. doi.org/10.1037/dev0001105
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Footnotes
- 1 This study (U.S. Census Bureau, 2020) uses the terms “White alone,” “Black or African American alone,” “American Indian and Alaska Native alone,” “Asian alone,” “Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander alone,” “Some Other Race alone,” and “Two or More Races” as categories for “race”; it uses the terms “Hispanic or Latino” and “Not Hispanic or Latino” as categories for “Hispanic or Latino Origin.”
- 2 This study (Del Toro et al., 2024) uses the terms “African American,” “Asian American,” and “Latinx.”
- 3 This study (Rivas-Drake et al., 2014) uses the terms “African American,” “Latino,” “Asian American,” “Pacific Islander,” and “Native American.”
- 4 Cross’ research uses the term “Black.”
- 5 This study (Pew Research Center, 2022) uses the terms “Hispanic” and “Latino.”
- 6 This study (Pabon Gautier, 2016) uses the term “Latino.”
- 7 This study (Ferdman & Gallegos, 2001) uses the term “Latino.”
- 8 This study (Torres, 2003) uses the term “Latino.”
- 9 This study (Flores, 2023) uses “Latinx” as a broad term as it explores many identities and associated terms for those identities including “Latino,” “Latine,” “Hispanic,” “Afro-Latino,” “Afro-Hispanic,” and others. The author notes that the terms “Latine,” “Latinx,” and “Latino” are used interchangeably in the paper.
- 10 This study (Gonzales-Barrera, 2019) uses the term “Hispanic.”
- 11 This study (U.S. Census Bureau, 2023) uses the terms “American Indian” and “Alaska Native.”
- 12 This study (Walter, 1999) uses the term “American Indian.”
- 13 This study (Lucero, 2010) uses the term “American Indian.”
- 14 This study (Kulis et al., 2013) uses the term “American Indian” and focuses on the southwest U.S.
- 15 This study (House et al., 2006) uses the term “American Indian” and focuses on the southwest U.S.
- 16 This study (Leavitt et al., 2015) uses the term “Native American.”
- 17 Poston’s (Carlos Poston, 1990) research uses the term “biracial.”
- 18 This study (Bishop et al., 2020) uses the terms “Black,” “White,” and “Latinx.”
- 19 This study (Hall et al., 2021) uses the terms “Hispanic/Latinx,” “Hispanic/Latino,” “Hispanic/Latina,” “Black,” “White,” and “Asian.”