Jay is seventy-four years old and lost his long-term partner a few years ago. At first his grief was overwhelming, and he felt completely lost and alone. But slowly, with support from friends and family, Jay began to heal. He honored his partner’s memory by carrying on their traditions (such as volunteering at the animal shelter and hosting an annual Diwali dinner for neighbors) and found solace in knowing that he and his partner had been blessed with many happy years together. Jay still misses his partner deeply, but the grief no longer threatens to cut him off from a meaningful life.
Think of your current relationships, including friends, family, and others who support you in your goals. Now consider what your social life might look like when you are older. Do you think you’ll have the same types of relationships then as now? Will these relationships serve similar roles? How might marriage and other romantic relationships change? In this section, you'll explore questions like these and learn more about how community resources for helping older adults meet their social and practical needs, and how available and accessible those types of resources are?
References
Allen, K. R., & Lavender-Stott, E. S. (2020). The families of LGBTQ older adults: Theoretical approaches to creative family connections in the context of marginalization, social‐historical change, and resilience. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 12(2), 200–219. doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12370
Anderson, J. L., Van Ryzin, M. J., & Doherty, W. J. (2010). Developmental trajectories of marital happiness in continuously married individuals: A group-based modeling approach. Journal of Family Psychology, 24(5), 587–596. doi.org/10.1037/a0020928
Antonucci, T. C., Ajrouch, K. J., & Webster, N. (2019). Convoys of social relations: Cohort similarities and differences over 25 years. Psychology and Aging, 34(8), 1158–1169. doi.org/10.1037/pag0000375
Asiamah, N. (2017). Social engagement and physical activity: Commentary on why the activity and disengagement theories of ageing may both be valid. Cogent Medicine, 4(1), 1289664. doi.org/10.1080/2331205x.2017.1289664
Ayalon, L., & Levkovich, I. (2019). A systematic review of research on social networks of older adults. Gerontologist, 59(3), e164–e176. doi.org/10.1093/geront/gnx218
Bennett, K. M. (2005). Psychological wellbeing in later life: 5The longitudinal effects of marriage, widowhood and marital status change. International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 20(3), 280–284. doi.org/10.1002/gps.1280
Berg, C. A., Schindler, I., Smith, T. W., Skinner, M., & Beveridge, R. M. (2011). Perceptions of the cognitive compensation and interpersonal enjoyment functions of collaboration among middle-aged and older married couples. Psychology and Aging, 26(1), 167–173. doi.org/10.1037/a0021124
Berg-Weger, M., & Morley, J. E. (2020). Loneliness in old age: An unaddressed health problem. The Journal of Nutrition, Health and Aging, 24(3), 243–245. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12603-020-1323-6
Brown, S. J., & Lin, I-F. (2012). The gray divorce revolution: Rising divorce among middle-aged and older adults, 1990–2010. The Journals of Gerontology Series B, 67(6), 731–741. doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbs089
Butrica, B. A., & Smith, K. E. (2012). The retirement prospects of divorced women. Social Security Bulletin, 72(1), 11–22. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22550718
Carstensen, L. L. (1992). Social and emotional patterns in adulthood: Support for socioemotional selectivity theory. Psychology and Aging, 7(3), 331–338. doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.7.3.331
Carstensen, L. L., Isaacowitz, D. M., & Charles, S. T. (1999). Taking time seriously: A theory of socioemotional selectivity. American Psychologist, 54(3), 165–181. doi.org/10.1037/0003-066x.54.3.165
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021). Provisional number of marriages and marriage rate: United States, 2000–2021. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/ma...ates-00-21.pdf
Cohen, S. A., Sabik, N. J., Cook, S. K., Azzoli, A. B., & Mendez-Luck, C. A. (2019). Differences within differences: Gender inequalities in caregiving intensity vary by race and ethnicity in informal caregivers. Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontology, 34, 245–263. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10823-019-09381-9
Crowley, J. E. (2019). “Once bitten, twice shy? Gender differences in the remarriage decision after a gray divorce.” Sociological Inquiry, 89(1), 150–176. doi.org/10.1111/soin.12253
Cumming, E., & Henry, W. E. (1961). Growing old: The process of disengagement. Basic Books.
Davidson, K. (2002). Gender differences in new partnership choices and constraints for older widows and widowers. Ageing International, 27, 43–60. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12126-002-1014-0
Dehkordi, F. R., Eslami, A. A., Alavijeh, F. Z., & Matlabi, H. (2020). Gerotranscendence and active aging: The lived experience. Journal of Religion, Spirituality & Aging, 33(3), 271–297. doi.org/10.1080/15528030.2020.1770662
Di Gessa, G., Bordone, V., & Arpino, B. (2020). Becoming a grandparent and its effect on well-being: The role of order of transitions, time, and gender. The Journals of Gerontology Series B, 75(10), 2250–2262. doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbz135
Dickinson, A., & Wills, W. (2022). Meals on wheels services and the food security of older people. Health & Social Care in the Community, 30(6), e6699–e6707. doi.org/10.1111/hsc.14092
Ellis, L., & Davis, M. H. A. (2017). Intimate partner support: A comparison of gay, lesbian, and heterosexual relationships. Personal Relationships, 24(2), 350–369. doi.org/10.1111/pere.12186
Fabius, C. D., Wolff, J. L., & Kasper, J. D. (2020). Race differences in characteristics and experiences of Black and white caregivers of older Americans. The Gerontologist, 60(7), 1244–1253. doi.org/10.1093/geront/gnaa042
Fabbre, V. D., & Gaveras, E. (2020). The manifestation of multilevel stigma in the lived experiences of transgender and gender nonconforming older adults. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 90(3), 350–360. doi.org/10.1037/ort0000440
Fung, H. H. (2013). Aging in culture. The Gerontologist, 53(3), 369–377. doi.org/10.1093/geront/gnt024
Gilligan, M., Stocker, C. M., & Conger, K. J. (2020). Sibling relationships in adulthood: Research findings and new frontiers. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 12(3), 305–320. doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12385
Graham, E. K., Beck, E. D., Jackson, K., Yoneda, T., McGhee, C., Pieramici, L., Atherton, O. E., Luo, J., Willroth, E. C., Steptoe, A., Mroczek, D. K., & Ong, A. D. (2024). Do we become more lonely with age? A coordinated data analysis of nine longitudinal studies. Psychological Science, 35(6), 579-596. doi.org/10.1177/09567976241242037
Greif, G. L., & Woolley, M. E. (2015). Patterns in adult sibling relationships after the death of one or both parents. Journal of Social Work in End-of-life & Palliative Care, 11(1), 74–89. doi.org/10.1080/15524256.2015.1021435
Gurung, R. A. R., Taylor, S. E., & Seeman, T. E. (2003). Accounting for changes in social support among married older adults: Insights from the MacArthur studies of successful aging. Psychology and Aging, 18(3), 487–496. doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.18.3.487
Heley, E., & Hewitt, B. (2022). Same-sex marriage and remarriage in Australia, 2018–2020. Australian Population Studies, 6(1), 1–14. https://doi.org/10.37970/aps.v6i1.96
Hornstra, M., & Ivanova, K. (2023). Kinkeeping across families: The central role of mothers and stepmothers in the facilitation of adult intergenerational ties. Sex Roles, 88, 367–382. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-023-01352-2
Ilinca, S., Rodrigues, R. R., Fors, S., Zólyomi, E., Jull, J., Rehnberg, J., Vafaei, A., & Phillips, S. D. (2022). Gender differences in access to community-based care: A longitudinal analysis of widowhood and living arrangements. European Journal of Ageing, 19, 1339–1350. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10433-022-00717-y
Jolly, P. M., Kong, D. T., & Kim, K. Y. (2020). Social support at work: An integrative review. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 42(2), 229–251. doi.org/10.1002/job.2485
Kaganas, F., & Piper, C. (2020). Grandparent contact: Another presumption? Journal of Social Welfare and Family Law, 42(2), 176–203. doi.org/10.1080/09649069.2020.1751932
Kahn, R. L., & Antonucci, T. C. (1980) Convoys over the life course: Attachment, roles and social support. In P. B. Baltes & O. G. Brim Jr. (Eds.), Life-span development and behavior (pp. 253–267). Academic Press.
Kalmijn, M., & Leopold, T. (2019). Changing sibling relationships after parents’ death: The role of solidarity and kinkeeping. Journal of Marriage and Family, 81(1), 99–114. doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12509
Kasar, K. S., & Karaman, E. (2021). Life in lockdown: Social isolation, loneliness and quality of life in the elderly during the COVID-19 pandemic: A scoping review. Geriatric Nursing, 42(5), 1222–1229. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.gerinurse.2021.03.010
Kent, E. E., Mollica, M. A., Dionne-Odom, J. N., Ferrer, R. A., Jensen, R. E., Ornstein, K. A., & Smith, A. W. (2020). Effect of instrumental support on distress among family caregivers: Findings from a nationally representative study. Palliative & Supportive Care, 18(5), 519–527. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1478951520000036
Kida, H., Niimura, H., Eguchi, Y., Suzuki, K., Shikimoto, R., Bun, S., Takayama, M., & Mimura, M. (2024). Relationship between life satisfaction and psychological characteristics among community-dwelling oldest-old: Focusing on Erikson's developmental stages and the big five personality traits. American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 32(6), 724–735. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jagp.2023.12.018
Kimbler, K. J., & Margrett, J. A. (2009). Older adults’ interactive behaviors during collaboration on everyday problems: Linking process and outcome. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 33(6), 531–542. doi.org/10.1177/0165025409343754
Landis, M., Peter-Wight, M., Martin, M., & Bodenmann, G. (2013). Dyadic coping and marital satisfaction of older spouses in long-term marriage. GeroPsych, 26(1), 39–47. doi.org/10.1024/1662-9647/a000077
Liu, C., Badana, A. N. S., Burgdorf, J., Fabius, C. D., Roth, D. L., & Haley, W. E. (2021). Systematic review and meta-analysis of racial and ethnic differences in dementia caregivers' well-being. The Gerontologist, 61(5), e228–e243. doi.org/10.1093/geront/gnaa028
Liversage, A. (2021). Remarriage among older immigrants and their host country peers—a countrywide study. Migration Letters, 18(3), 349–360.
Lu, L. (2017). Creating well-being among older people: An Eastern perspective. In C. L. Cooper & J. C. Quick (Eds.), The handbook of stress and health: A guide to research and practice (1st ed., pp. 388–399). Wiley Blackwell. doi.org/10.1002/9781118993811.ch23
Lu, S., Yupan, W., Mao, Z., & Liang, X. (2020). Association of formal and informal social support with health-related quality of life among Chinese rural elders. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(4), 1351. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17041351
Mayol-Garcia, Y., Gurrentz, B., & Kreider, R. M. (2021). Number, timing, and duration of marriages and divorces: 2016. U. S. Census Bureau. https://www.census.gov/content/dam/C...mo/p70-167.pdf
McWilliams, S., & Barrett, A. E. (2014). Online dating in middle and later life: Gendered expectations and experiences. Journal of Family Issues, 35(3), 411–436. doi.org/10.1177/0192513x12468437
Mekonnen, H. S., Lindgren, H., Geda, B., Azale, T., & Erlandsson, K. (2023). Being an elderly person living in metropolitan cities of northwestern Ethiopia: A descriptive phenomenological study. Clinical Interventions in Aging, 18, 205–218. https://doi.org/10.2147/CIA.S389305
Müller, F., Röhr, S., Reininghaus, U., & Riedel‐Heller, S. G. (2021). Social isolation and loneliness during COVID-19 lockdown: Associations with depressive .symptoms in the German old-age population. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(7), 3615. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18073615
Munnell, A. H., Sanzenbacher, G., & Zulkarnain, A. (2020). What factors explain the decline in widowed women’s poverty? Demography, 57(5), 1881–1902. doi.org/10.1007/s13524-020-00915-2
Okun, S., & Ayalon, L. (2023). The paradox of subjective age: Age(ing) in the self-presentation of older adults. International Psychogeriatrics, 35(10), 566-575. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1041610222000667
Osmani, N., Matlabi, H., & Rezaei, M. (2017). Barriers to remarriage among older people: Viewpoints of widows and widowers. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 59(1), 51–68. doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2017.1375331
Pandya, S. (2005). Racial and ethnic differences among older adults in long-term care service use. AARP Public Policy Institute. www.aarp.org/home-garden/liv...5/fs119_ltc.ht
Perkins, J. M., Lee, H.-Y., James, K. S., Oh, J., Krishna, A., Heo, J., Lee, J.-K., & Subramanian, S. V. (2016). Marital status, widowhood duration, gender and health outcomes: A cross-sectional study among older adults in India. BMC Public Health, 16(1), 1032. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-016-3682-9
Peterson, C. C. (1999). Grandfathers’ and grandmothers’ satisfaction with the grandparenting role: Seeking new answers to old questions. International Journal of Aging & Human Development, 49(1), 61–78. doi.org/10.2190/gudm-6ce3-17wf-7n96
Pontinen, H. M., Medvene, L. J., & Gerstenkorn, J. (2019). Possible selves of older adults entering a life plan community. Educational Gerontology, 45(3), 201–213. doi.org/10.1080/03601277.2019.1601400
Portz, J. D., Elsbernd, K., Plys, E., Ford, K. L., Zhang, X., Gore, M. O., Moore, S. L., Zhou, S., & Bull, S. (2020). Elements of social convoy theory in mobile health for palliative care: Scoping review. JMIR mHealth and uHealth, 8(1), e16060. https://doi.org/10.2196/16060
Raley, R. K., & Sweeney, M. M. (2020). Divorce, repartnering, and stepfamilies: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(1), 81–99. doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12651
Rosenthal, C. J. (1985). Kinkeeping in the familial division of labor. Journal of Marriage and Family, 47(4), 965–974. doi.org/10.2307/352340
Shiba, K., Kondo, N., & Kondo, K. (2016). Informal and formal social support and caregiver burden: The AGES caregiver survey. Journal of Epidemiology, 26(12), 622–628. https://doi.org/10.2188/jea.je20150263
Streeter, J. L. (2020). Gender differences in widowhood in the short-run and long-run: Financial, emotional, and mental wellbeing. The Journal of the Economics of Ageing, 17, 100258. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jeoa.2020.100258
Thomeer, M. B., Mudrazija, S., & Angel, J. L. (2015). How and why does nursing home use differ by race and ethnicity? The Journals of Gerontology Series B. doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbv056
Tobin, S. S., & Neugarten, B. L. (1961). Life satisfaction and social interaction in the aging. Journal of Gerontology, 16(4), 344–346. doi.org/10.1093/geronj/16.4.344
Treas, J. & Mazumdar, S. (2004). Kinkeeping and caregiving: Contributions of older people in immigrant families. Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 35(1), 105–122. www.jstor.org/stable/41603919
Wrzus, C., Hänel, M., Wagner, J., & Neyer, F. J. (2013). Social network changes and life events across the life span: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 53–80. doi.org/10.1037/a0028601
White, L. T. (2001). Sibling relationships over the life course: A panel analysis. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63(2), 555–568. doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2001.00555.x