Dyan is studying to become a counselor because she feels her Ojibwe community needs more mental health resources. She’s currently learning about grief counseling and discovering that grief is more complex than she thought. She always believed everyone went through a specific set of emotional responses after the death of a loved one, but now she’s finding that the emotional reaction to death can vary across people and situations. Dyan realizes that if she wants to be an effective counselor, she must take an individualized and personal approach to supporting people who’ve experienced a loss.
In her studies, Dyan also learns that this support includes helping people find ways to remember and honor their loved ones. She has seen funerals and memorials both in person and in various forms of media. As a creative person, she likes the idea of helping her clients develop meaningful artifacts they can use to help adjust to the loss of their loved one.
Coping with death isn’t a singular process. There are emotional and cognitive aspects of reacting to death—both our own future passing and someone else’s—and behaviors and rituals people use to express their feelings and remember and honor the deceased. Some of these vary by culture, but they may also vary on smaller, more individual dimensions. Thus there is no one “right” way to respond to death. Most people refrain from speaking ill of the deceased or being deliberately disrespectful, but beyond that we all react to death in different ways.
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