10.10: Grandparenting

The role of grandparent is a socially acceptable one in the U.S. It is admired by others, bragged about by grandparents, and more often than not, appreciated by grandchildren. Grandparents are given social approval by peers and society in general for being in that role. Grandparents also can be as actively or inactively involved as they desire. As there are no societal guidelines for the grandparent role, there are varying types of grandparental involvement. Most U.S. grandparents live in another household from their grandchildren, but economic uncertainties and demographic changes with lower birth rates may contribute to the U.S. returning to three or four generational households
(www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/age/older_2008.html). A variety of scholars have created typology of grandparenting (e.g., Silverstein \& Marenco, 2001). Hammond's typology involves the following four types:

The Disneyland Grandparent is one who entertains and distracts their grandchildren from the mundane aspects of their daily lives at home. These grandparents provide a certain entertainment option that is missing from their not-yet established parents. Grandchildren come to have high expectations of indulgence when spending time with these grandparents.

The Assistant Parent Grandparent is the one who takes the grandchildren to school functions, practices, and doctors appointments or waits for their grandchildren to come to their house after school and before the parents return home from work. Because the parents are typically both employed, these grandparents sometimes become an integral part of their grandchild's daily life and have an ongoing supportive role in the grandchild's busy schedule. Many young dual-employed couples could not afford the cost of formal daycare and many grandparents feel rewarded by the meaningful contribution they make in this role.

The Parental Substitute Grandparent is the one who lives in the home with the grandchild (or the grandchild lives in the grandparent's home). These grandparents have a great deal of stress that often reminds them of the original parental stresses they faced when they were raising their own children. Parental Substitute Grandparents often express fatigue and feeling overburdened. Raising grandchildren is not what most grandparents anticipated to happen in their later lives. Grandparents in the U.S. often have direct daily interaction with their grandchildren. The U.S. Census Bureau estimates over 6 million grandparents have their grandchildren living in their home (WWW.PRB.org). This type of grandparent is common when unwed teen mothers keep their babies, when an adult child is divorced or widowed, or when a child or son/daughter-in-law becomes disabled.

Finally there is the Distant Relative Grandparent. These grandparents visit at times and live at a geographic or emotional distance from their grandchildren. They typically can't, or will not, have a close relationship with the grandchildren. Telephones and the Internet allow these grandparents to consult with the parents and be intermittently involved in the lives of their children and grandchildren. But many grandchildren experiencing this type of grandparenting often report a disconnect to these grandparents.

Grandparents can have a positive and nurturing impact on their grandchildren or they can have a shameful and negative one. Some grandparents work diligently to reinforce the value of each individual grandchild, often trying not to repeat the same mistakes they made when raising their own children. These grandparents find ways to show and express their love and support of the grandchild.