15.2: Theories of Divorce

Using Social Exchange Theory as a basis for understanding why couples stay married or divorce, you begin to see that spouses consider the cost-tobenefit ratio; they look at rewards minus punishments, and they weigh the pros and cons in their decisions. Social Exchange Theory claims that society is composed of ever present interactions among individuals who attempt to maximize rewards while minimizing costs. Assumptions in this theory are similar to Conflict Theory assumptions yet have their interactionist underpinnings. Basically, human beings are rational creatures capable of making sound choices when the pros and cons of the choice are understood. This theory uses a formula to measure the choice making processes (REWARDS-COSTS) = OUTCOMES. This can be translated to what I get out of it minus what I lose by doing it equals my decision. In 1979 Levinger and Moles published their model wherein they discussed the rational choices made by spouses who were considering divorcing or remaining married. It's been referred to as Levinger's Model. Levinger's Model is AttractionsBarriers +/- Alternative Attractions = My Decision to Stay Married or Divorce. Table \(\PageIndex{1}\): below shows an example of how Levinger's Model clarifies the choices people might make and their perceived rewards and costs.

Table \(\PageIndex{1}\): Levinger's Model of Rational Choice in Divorce

(Attractions) Magnets=Rewards that stem from being married	(Barriers) Walls=Punishments or losses you'd face if you divorced. You'd have to climb over these walls if you divorced	(Alternative Attractions) Lures Away From Your Marriage=Something attractive that you could obtain if you were unmarried
Positive social status	Loss of positive status and new negative status-stigma of being 'divorced'	Liberated status with freedom to explore relationships with others
Wealth Accumulation	Division of wealth (at least by half)	Opportunity to be disentangled with family costs
Co-parenting	Co-parenting with ex-spouse, never truly free from this role	Share custody alleviating some degree of burden of parenting
Sex	Much less availability and predictablility of sexual partner	Possibility of new sexual partner
Health Support and Stress Buffer	Loss of health support and additional stress from divorce process	Different types of stressors and relief from pre-divorce stresses
Stay Married Formula (+Attractions)	(+)Barriers	(-)Lures
Divorce Formula (-Attractions)	(-)Barriers	(+)Lures

(* Levinger, G. and Moles, O. C. "Divorce and Separation: Context, Causes, and Consequences" 1979, Basic Books).

In Table \(\PageIndex{1}\) you see that Levinger's Attractions are simply the magnets that draw you to the marriage or rewards that stem from being married. These are the payoffs that come from being married and include positive social status, wealth accumulation, co-parenting, sexual intercourse, health support and stress buffer that marriage typically brings to each spouse, as well as others. Each individual defines his or her own attractions. Levinger's Barriers are simply the costs or punishments that might be incurred if a married person chose to divorce. These might include losing all the attractions and magnets, changing to a negative status, suffering a division of wealth, co-parenting at a distance and without same-household convenience, experiencing a change/decline in sexual frequency and predictability, losing the health and stress buffer that married couples enjoy (even unhappily married couples experience some measure of this buffer), and others. Each individual defines his or her own barriers.

Levinger's Alternative Attractions are basically lures or something appealing that now-married spouses might find rewarding if they divorce. These might include liberation and the freedom that comes from being single (albeit divorced) and newly available on the market, a financial disentanglement from ex-spouse and at times child care (especially common view held among men who often share custody but pay less in the end for their children), alleviation of parenting when children are with other parent, freedom from unwanted sexual demands and or possibility of new sexual partner or partners, the abandonment of overbearing stressors from marriage, as well as others. Of course each individual defines his or her own alternative attractions.

The last two rows in Table 2 show how you can use a formula to understand the propensity a couple has to divorcing or staying married. In the Stay Married formula, the attractions and barriers are high while the lures are low. Translated into Social Exchange thinking-there are many rewards in the marriage, with many barriers that would prove more punishing if a spouse wanted to divorce. At the same time there are few lures that might draw a spouse away from their marriage.

The divorce formula is also revealing. Attractions are low, barriers are low, and lures are high. In other words, there are few rewards from being married, low barriers or low perceived punishments from divorcing, with high lures to draw a spouse away from the marriage. One would expect satisfied couples to have the "stay married" formula while dissatisfied couples would have the "divorce formula." By the way, the formula is only descriptive and not predictive (it cannot tell you what an individual couple might do). Some with the divorce formula in place remain married for years. A few with the stay married formula become dissatisfied and begin focusing on lures.

One Social Exchange principle that clarifies the rational processes experienced by couples is called the concept of equity. Equity is a sense that the interactions are fair to us and fair to others involved by the consequences of our choices. For example, why is it that women who work 40 hours a week and have a husband who also works 40 hours a week do not perform the same number of weekly hours of housework and childcare? Scientists have surveyed many couples to find the answer. Most often it boils down to a sense of fairness or equity. She defines it as her role to do housework and childcare, while he doesn't; because they tend to fight when she does try to get him to perform housework and because she may think he's incompetent, they live with an inequitable arrangement as though it were equitable.