8.5: Tookkit for Responding to Barriers in Communication

Using Communication to Challenge Barriers

Chances are that at some point in your life, you will encounter barriers to intercultural communication—whether in the form of racism, sexism, discrimination, stereotypes, ethnocentrism, or another kind of prejudice, and whether it is directed at you or at someone else. When Angela was ten years old and playing in a school softball game, another child began taunting one of her friends, who was of Filipino descent. She didn’t fully understand why the boy’s comments made her so uncomfortable; she only knew in her heart that what he was saying was cruel and a form of bullying. She spoke up and told him to stop. In response, he punched her in the eye. That black eye eventually became a small badge of honor when her family, her friend, and her school praised her for standing up for someone being targeted.

Now, we certainly don’t want anyone to end up with a black eye. Instead, we invite you to reflect on your own beliefs and consider how you might choose to respond if you ever find yourself in a situation where someone is using prejudice to harm or demean another person.

1. Start with the Person in the Mirror.

Effective intercultural communication begins with self-reflection. Before engaging others, actively work to dismantle your own biases. Expand your "cultural empathy" by reading literature from different perspectives, attending diverse cultural events, and moving beyond stereotypes to interact with people as individuals.

2. Be open to feedback.

If someone lets you know that your words, actions, or symbols come across as hurtful or discriminatory, pause and take it seriously. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be willing to listen. A simple response like “Thanks for telling me—I didn’t realize that” shows respect and keeps the conversation open.

Take a moment to reflect, adjust your language or behavior, and remember the Golden Rule: treat others the way you would want to be treated. Being open to feedback is one of the strongest signs of growth and allyship.

3. Gauge Intent with Clarifying Questions

If someone says something offensive, ask: "Why do you say that?" or "What do you mean by that?" This forces the speaker to reflect on their words and helps you determine if the comment was born of malice or simple ignorance.

4. Address the Action, Not the Identity

Avoid labeling someone as "a racist," which usually causes them to shut down. Instead, focus on the behavior or words: "That comment sounded hurtful" or "That joke makes me feel uncomfortable." Separating the person from the act makes the issue the focus, rather than the person’s character.

5. Use the "Teachable Moment" Approach

Treat encounters with prejudice as opportunities to reduce fear and ignorance. If you feel safe and the person seems willing to listen, gently explain why a statement might be offensive. However, avoid "preaching"—education is most effective when the other person is open to dialogue. Say something like "I am not sure if you are aware, but did you know that word means.....?"

6. Set Clear Social Boundaries

If you receive offensive content (like a racist email or text), respond with a brief, emotionless boundary: "I found that hurtful and offensive. Please do not forward things like this to me in the future." This clearly establishes what is considered acceptable in your social or professional circle.

7. Leverage the Power of the Bystander

Research shows that when a bystander speaks up, it validates the victim’s sense of belonging and signals to the offender that their views are not the social norm. A calm, measured intervention from a witness can have a profound influence on everyone present.

8. Use Disarming Kindness

Sometimes, the most effective way to "wake someone up" is through unexpected compassion. Responding to hostility with a kind gesture or a simple compliment can highlight the absurdity of the prejudice and encourage the offender to reassess their views.

9. Master the "Social Media Pivot."

When encountering common tropes online (like stereotypes about different ethnic groups), consider blocking the sender, unsubscribing from the source, or responding in a manner to will not escalate the comment, such as "I'm calling this out because it matters and that stereotype is not okay. We can do better."

10. Prioritize Safety and Context

The "right" response depends on your environment. In a workplace, persistent issues should be documented and reported to HR. In a public space with strangers, your physical safety is the priority; if a situation feels volatile, the best communication strategy is often to disengage and leave immediately. At family gatherings, it may be best to speak with someone privately rather than calling them out in front of the entire family.