7.10: Caregiver Capacity
- Page ID
- 215488
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Caregivers must take care of themselves. You can't give from an empty vessel. If you aren't in a safe place in your own life, it will be nearly impossible for you to help others get there.
"mother child" by delicategenius is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
Think about riding on an airplane. Before take-off, the flight attendant gives a safety speech about seat belts, life jackets, emergency exits, etc. When they speak of loss of cabin pressure, they say that emergency oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. They then instruct you that, if you are traveling with small children or others who need assistance, "put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else". Why? A parent's first instinct is to help their child breathe first! If they help their child breathe, and they can't get their own mask on, nobody will be able to help the parent. However, if they put their own mask on first, they will be able to breathe and can then help their child and others. The same concept applies to helping children who have experienced trauma; we must take care of ourselves, or we won't be able to help others.
Secondary Trauma was touched on in a previous chapter of this text; it is real! It is experienced by becoming involved with the trauma of another person as you are trying to help him/her. Signs that you might be experiencing Secondary Trauma include:
- Becoming emotionally "numb".
- Being on edge and easily agitated.
- Being withdrawn.
- An inability to concentrate or having poor short-term memory recall.
- Experiencing an impaired immune system.
- Not being willing to talk about how you feel, claiming that others "won't understand".
While these are signs of secondary stress, they may also be signs of:
- Primary Trauma
- Primary Trauma History
- Vicarious Process
- Burnout
- Media Scrutiny
- Structural Issues
Adults can increase their capacity for helping others through traumas if they:
- Exercise Regularly
- Practice Wellness
- Have Good Nutrition
- Follow Meditation or Being Mindful
- Have and Use a Good Support System
- Keep a Gratitude Box or List; ask others to contribute and share
- Re-assess Structural Issues and Make Changes Where Needed (appropriate caseload size, appropriate classroom size, appropriate staff ratios, eliminate unnecessary extra duties, eliminate unnecessary meetings, keep meetings efficient, etc.)
It is important to maintain balance in work and life.