2.3: Being Mindful, Practicing Self-Care and Self-Management Tools

To use and apply the Quadrant II Time Management System in our lives, we need to examine our lives and be mindful of our life roles. Again, we all have multiple life roles with tasks to complete in each of those life roles. We need to ask ourselves some questions about the importance and urgency of tasks and expectations in those life roles.

Are each of our life roles as important as the others every day? Chances are no. For example, your college student life role may not be as important during semester breaks, but perhaps your employee life role takes on more importance when you’re not taking classes because you work more hours per week when you’re not in class. Another example could be that your life role as a spouse or partner probably would increase in importance when your spouse or partner is sick and needs your care.

We also have to be mindful of the thoughts we’re having regarding the urgency of a task. If there is a specific deadline, that urgency level may be obvious. If there isn’t a specific deadline imposed by someone else, we need to know whether we will benefit from accomplishing the task sooner, or if we really can wait longer.

When we’re mindful and do this analysis, we can be aware of the priorities in our lives and assign tasks to the appropriate quadrant. What happens if everything in our lives appears to be urgent and important, and we’re spending all of our time in Quadrant I? Stress! On the other hand, what happens if we find ourselves responding to others’ urgent requests that aren’t important in our lives, but we don’t want to disappoint someone else? We get frustrated or maybe even angry with other people, even though we made the choice to take on their requests.

Being mindful of our life roles relates to the concept of emotional intelligence. Most people have heard of IQ or intelligence quotient. But have you heard of EI or EQ - emotional intelligence? Daniel Goleman is an American psychologist who studied emotional intelligence. His book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ ¹, takes a look at the extreme importance of emotional intelligence. He found that there are five key components that comprise EI or EQ:

• Self Awareness - you understand your emotions and how they can affect yourself and others around you.
• Self-Regulation - you are able to control your emotions appropriately.
• Motivation - you work towards your goals and set high standards for yourself.
• Empathy - you have the ability to put yourself in others’ shoes and you care for others.
• Social Skills - you work well with others. You communicate effectively and can work well with different types of people.

You could be the smartest person in the world, but if you are not able to manage your emotions, you probably will have a difficult time in school and in the workplace. You could excel in all academic situations, but if you do not work well with other people, you may have difficulty doing well in any workplace environment. Many people believe that EI or EQ is just as important or perhaps more important than IQ. What do you think?

When we’re practicing self-care and emotional intelligence, we are spending most of our time in Quadrant II. People with a growth mindset operate mostly in Quadrant II working on tasks that allow them to reach their goals before those tasks become urgent. We are practicing self-care when we give ourselves plenty of time to work on meaningful tasks that help us achieve our goals.

How do we spend most of our time in Quadrant II? We need to plan ahead using self-management tools. These tools could be traditional paper or hard-copy planners and calendars plus technology-based apps. Common tools include to-do lists, weekly planners and monthly calendars. See the pictures and explanations below.

To-Do List

“To Do List” by Alexas_Fotos is licensed under CC0

When using a “to-do” list, remember to prioritize using numbers as in the picture above. As a college student, your to-do list probably will include academic assignments near the top (numbers 1 through 3) while other lower-priority tasks will be lower on the list (numbers 4 and 5). Here’s an example for a day in the life of a college student:

To-Do List for Wednesday after Work:

1. Finish reading SOCI 201 reading assignment.
2. Write thesis statement for ENGL 102 paper.
3. Complete MATH 113 homework.
4. Unload the dishwasher.
5. Pull out Christmas lights for neighbor to borrow.

Weekly Planner

“Planner” by rayedigitaldesigns, is licensed under CC0

When you are filling in your Weekly Planner, again remember your priorities. Fill in your higher-priority commitments first including classes, work schedule, appointments, children’s activities (if applicable). Then fill in lower-priority items such as house cleaning, yard work, laundry, etc. If you have additional time, plan for some relaxation and fun, again, after finishing your priorities. Here is a link to a video illustration of how to prioritize, and you could use the idea of “golf balls, pebbles and sand” to fill in your Weekly Planner.

“The Empty Pickle Jar - A Lesson on Life” Video Link The Empty Pickle Jar [youtu.be]

Monthly Calendar

Printable Blank Monthly Calendar Free Stock Photo - Public Domain Pictures CC0 Public Domain

One tool especially helpful for college students is a semester calendar, otherwise known as a term schedule, showing all of the weeks of the semester on one visual surface with important commitments noted including exams, speeches, projects and papers. A semester calendar can be hung in a prominent place such as the refrigerator or bedroom wall so students can get a snapshot of the entire semester at once. Students often use different colors for different classes. If an upcoming week looks especially full with commitments (e.g., two papers, an exam and a group project due), students can be forewarned and work ahead on tasks that can be done in advance, such as the papers. Here’s an illustration of the first few weeks of the Fall 2021 semester.

Semester Calendar

Table: Semester Calendar

Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
Aug 29	30 Classes start!	31	Sept 1	2	3	4
5	6 Labor Day- no classes	7 FS practice quiz due	8	9 COMM- Intro speech due	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17 Study group for BIOL	18
19	20 BIOL quiz	21	22	23 SOCI review session	24	25
26	27	28	29	30 SOCI exam #1

PRO TIP:

Time management is the key to success. Take out your phone on day one. Schedule 1 hour a day for 6 days a week (do this for each class you are taking). Have your phone notify you when the time approaches. Leave your phone in another room when it goes off so you don't get distracted. Work completely on HACC for that one hour. Within 10 days you will have created a habit of studying for 6 hours a week.

- Kristy Vukoder, Adjunct Instructor, Foundational Studies and Assistant Director, High School Partnerships

1 Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam Books.