2.4: Improving Perception

Learning Objectives

• Discuss strategies for improving self-perception.
• Discuss strategies for improving perception of others.
• Employ perception checking to improve perception of self and others.

So far, we have learned about the perception process and how we perceive others and ourselves. Our self-perception can be improved by becoming aware of how schema, socializing forces, self-fulfilling prophecies, and negative patterns of thinking can distort our ability to describe and evaluate ourselves. How we perceive others can be improved by developing better listening and empathetic skills, becoming aware of stereotypes and prejudice, developing self-awareness through self-reflection, and engaging in perception checking.

Improving Self-Perception

Our self-perceptions are constantly evolving. While our overall self-concept and self-esteem remain fairly stable, our context-specific self-perceptions can shift based on who we're interacting with, our emotional state, or the topic at hand. Understanding these nuances is crucial for improving how we see ourselves. Since self-perceptions are highly personal, there's no "right" or "wrong" way to see ourselves. Instead, we can focus on identifying positive and negative aspects, recognizing common barriers to accurate self-perception, and understanding patterns that hinder our ability to monitor and change them. Altering your core self-concept or self-esteem is a significant undertaking, as these are reflections of who we are, built over countless interactions. However, major life events—like transitioning from high school to college, entering a committed relationship, having a child, moving, or starting a new job—can quickly reshape our self-perceptions. Beyond these life-altering experiences, we can also gradually modify our self-perceptions through dedicated efforts, such as enhancing our communication skills through self-monitoring and reflection. As you actively work to change your self-perceptions, be prepared for potential resistance from those close to you. When your self-concept improves, your communication will naturally change, which may prompt others to respond differently. Even with good reasons for these changes, others might feel unsettled or confused by your evolving behaviors and communication, as people generally seek predictability in their relationships.

Figure 2.4.1 Improving the perceptual process

Avoid Reliance on Rigid Schema

As we learned earlier, schemata are sets of information based on cognitive and experiential knowledge that guide our interaction. We rely on schemata almost constantly to help us make sense of the world around us. Sometimes schemata become so familiar that we use them as scripts, which prompts mindless communication and can lead us to overlook new information that may need to be incorporated into the schema. So it’s important to remain mindful of new or contradictory information that may warrant revision of a schema. Being mindful is difficult, however, especially since we often unconsciously rely on schemata. Think about how when you’re driving a familiar route you sometimes fall under “highway hypnosis.” Despite all the advanced psychomotor skills needed to drive, such as braking, turning, and adjusting to other drivers, we can pull into a familiar driveway or parking lot having driven the whole way on autopilot. Again, this is not necessarily a bad thing. But have you slipped into autopilot on a familiar route only to remember that you are actually going somewhere else after you’ve already missed your turn? This example illustrates the importance of keeping our schemata flexible and avoiding mindless communication.

Be Critical of Socializing Forces

Our self-perception is shaped by various influences, including family, friends, societal norms, and media. While these forces can be positive, they can also lead to negative self-perceptions.

Media, for example, often promotes unrealistic beauty standards, which can lead to issues like eating disorders, depression, and low self-esteem. In response, movements like fat acceptance have emerged, advocating that health is more important than thinness. The "Healthy at Every Size" movement and the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance challenge the weight-loss industry's negative portrayal of fat. While the link between weight and health is complex, promoting healthy living and self-esteem over extreme dieting seems beneficial given public health concerns about body image.

Cultural influences also impact self-perception, especially for marginalized groups. While discrimination can negatively affect self-esteem, research shows that individuals from minority groups often actively resist internalizing negative societal views. They may even strengthen their identification with their own group as a coping mechanism, finding support and rejecting negative evaluations from outside groups.

Beware of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Self-fulfilling prophecies are thought and action patterns in which a person’s false belief triggers a behavior that makes the initial false belief actually or seemingly come true (Guyll et al., 2010). For example, let’s say a student’s biology lab instructor is a Chinese person who speaks English as a second language. The student falsely believes that the instructor will not be a good teacher because he speaks English with an accent. Because of this belief, the student doesn’t attend class regularly and doesn’t listen actively when she does attend. Because of these behaviors, the student fails the biology lab, which then reinforces her original belief that the instructor wasn’t a good teacher.

Although the concept of self-fulfilling prophecies was originally developed to be applied to social inequality and discrimination, it has since been applied in many other contexts, including interpersonal communication. This research has found that some people are chronically insecure, meaning they are very concerned about being accepted by others but constantly feel that other people will dislike them. This can manifest in relational insecurity, which is again based on feelings of inferiority resulting from social comparison with others perceived to be more secure and superior. Such people often end up reinforcing their belief that others will dislike them because of the behaviors triggered by their irrational belief. A pattern of thinking can lead to a pattern of behavior that reinforces the thinking, and so on. Luckily, experimental research shows that self-affirmation techniques can be successfully used to intervene in such self-fulfilling prophecies. Thinking positive thoughts and focusing on personality strengths can stop this negative cycle of thinking and has been shown to have positive effects on areas such academic performance, weight loss, and interpersonal relationships (Stinston et al., 2011).

Figure 2.4.2 Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Process

Beware of Distorted Patterns of Thinking and Acting

We all have perceptual biases that can distort our thinking, often without us realizing it. Understanding common negative patterns can help us recognize and address them. People with low self-esteem sometimes overcompensate for their insecurities, perhaps by acquiring material possessions or surrounding themselves with those they deem less successful, seeking a short-term boost. However, such behaviors can lead to financial issues or, by fostering an unrealistic sense of superiority, ultimately worsen self-perception. Another negative cycle involves setting unrealistic goals; consistently failing to meet these can lead to low self-efficacy, damaging self-esteem and self-concept. Goals should be challenging but progressive, building on achievable successes. Furthermore, low self-esteem can arise from a lack of accurate self-information. While some individuals intentionally ignore negative feedback to maintain high self-esteem, this can result in a distorted self-concept. There's a middle ground between self-criticism and ignoring constructive feedback essential for personal growth. Conversely, those with low self-esteem may discount or ignore positive feedback, reinforcing their negative self-perception.

Overcoming Barriers to Perceiving Others

There are many barriers that prevent us from competently perceiving others. While some are more difficult to overcome than others, they can all be addressed by raising our awareness of the influences around us and committing to monitoring, reflecting on, and changing some of our communication habits. Whether it is our lazy listening skills, lack of empathy, or stereotypes and prejudice, various filters and blinders influence how we perceive and respond to others.

Develop Empathetic Listening Skills

Effective listening is a powerful but often overlooked skill. In our fast-paced world, it can feel like a chore, yet it's crucial for understanding others and gaining new information. Empathetic listening, in particular, helps us learn from different perspectives and expand our awareness. This kind of listening requires significant cognitive and emotional effort. A key lesson in empathetic listening is to acknowledge that "everyone's biggest problem is their biggest problem." While we might judge someone's concerns as less significant than our own, their reality is still valid to them. Accepting this difference is a major step toward understanding others' perceptions.

Figure 2.4.3 Doctor-Patient Listening

Beware of Stereotypes and Prejudice

Stereotypes are oversimplified beliefs about groups applied to individuals, ignoring their unique qualities. They can be positive, negative, or neutral, but all can harm communication. Often, they stem from a lack of information. Even "positive" stereotypes, like the "model minority" stereotype for some Asian cultures, can be harmful. While seemingly praising Asian Americans as hardworking and intelligent, this can make individuals feel objectified or overlooked. It can lead individuals to avoid asking for help when they needed it or feel like they've been pushed into careers that don't fit their desires.

Stereotypes can also create double standards, highlighting societal inequalities. For instance, there are more negative terms for sexually active women than for men. To combat stereotypes, we must seek out new information and experiences, basing our impressions on observable behavior rather than assumptions.

When stereotypes lead to negative feelings or attitudes, it becomes prejudice. Prejudice can have individual impacts, like a hiring manager illegally discriminating against someone with a disability. It can also become a widespread social injustice if such biased thinking is pervasive. For example, the early response to AIDS was hampered by prejudice, as it was initially seen as a disease affecting only "deviants," delaying crucial attention and resources until it was understood that HIV/AIDS can affect anyone, regardless of race or sexual orientation.

Engage in Self-Reflection

To improve your perceptions and communication, practice self-reflection. This involves understanding your own thoughts and actions when a communication exchange goes awry. Self-reflection also boosts cultural awareness. By learning about other cultures and perspectives, we better understand our own. This often requires stepping outside our comfort zones and listening to those different from us, even if it challenges our deeply held beliefs.

Finally, consider how your self-concept influences your perception of others. We often project our own standards onto them. Ask yourself, "Is my impression based on how this person wants to be, or how I think they should be?" Such questions are crucial for perception checking.

Checking Perception

Perception checking helps us understand our reactions to people and communication. This involves both internal and external strategies. Internally, ask yourself, "What's influencing my current perceptions?" This simple awareness boosts your understanding of the perception process.

Externally, you can verify your perceptions with others, especially in important situations. However, not all situations allow this, and there's a fine line between being overly cautious and being too reactive. For instance, sometimes preventable crimes occur because people had a "bad feeling" but didn't report it. While some situations clearly require reporting harm, others are far more ambiguous.