4.16: Gender

Another important dimension of the self is the sense of self as male or female. Preschool aged children become increasingly interested in finding out the differences between boys and girls, both physically and in terms of what activities are acceptable for each. While two-year-olds can identify some differences and learn whether they are boys or girls, preschoolers become more interested in what it means to be male or female. Gender is the cultural, social and psychological meanings associated with masculinity and feminity (Spears Brown & Jewell, 2018). A person's sense of self as a member of a particular gender is known as gender identity. The development of gender identity appears to be due to an interaction among biological, social and representational influences (Ruble et al., 2006). Gender roles, or the expectations associated with being male or female, are learned in one's culture throughout childhood and into adulthood.

Gender socialization focuses on what young children learn about gender from society, including parents, peers, media, religious institutions, schools, and public policies. Children learn about what is acceptable for females and males early, and in fact, this socialization may even begin the moment a parent learns that a child is on the way. Knowing the sex of the child can conjure up images of the child's behavior, appearance, and potential on the part of a parent, and this stereotyping continues to guide perception through life. Consider parents of newborns, shown a 7-pound, 20-inch baby, wrapped in blue (a color designating males) describe the child as tough, strong, and angry when crying. Shown the same infant in pink (a color used in the United States for baby girls), these parents are likely to describe the baby as pretty, delicate, and frustrated when crying (Maccoby & Jacklin, 1987). Female infants are held more, talked to more frequently and given direct eye contact, while male infant interactions are often mediated through a toy or activity.

Figure \(\PageIndex{1}\). Gender roles. Image source.

As they age, sons are given tasks that take them outside the house and that have to be performed only on occasion, while girls are more likely to be given chores inside the home, such as cleaning or cooking, that are performed daily. Sons are encouraged to think for themselves when they encounter problems and daughters are more likely to be given assistance, even when they are working on an answer. Parents also talk to their children differently according to their gender. For example, parents talk to sons more in detail about science, and they discuss numbers and counting twice as often than with daughters (Chang et al., 2011). How are these beliefs about behaviors and expectations based on gender transmitted to children?

Theories of Gender Development

One theory of gender development in children is social learning theory, which argues that behavior is learned through observation, modeling, reinforcement, and punishment (Bandura, 1997). Children are rewarded and reinforced for behaving in concordance with gender roles that have been presented to them since birth and punished for breaking gender roles. In addition, social learning theory states that children learn many of their gender roles by modeling the behavior of adults and older children and, in doing so, develop ideas about what behaviors are appropriate for each gender. Cognitive social learning theory also emphasizes reinforcement, punishment, and imitation, but adds cognitive processes. These processes include attention, self-regulation, and self-efficacy. Once children learn the significance of gender, they regulate their own behavior based on internalized gender norms (Bussey & Bandura, 1999).

Another theory is that children develop their own conceptions of the attributes associated with maleness or femaleness, which is referred to as gender schema theory (Bem, 1981). Once children have identified with a particular gender, they seek out information about gender traits, behaviors, and roles. This theory is more constructivist as children are actively acquiring their gender. For example, friends discuss what is acceptable for boys and girls, and popularity may be based on what is considered ideal behavior for their gender.

Developmental intergroup theory states that many of our gender stereotypes are so strong because we emphasize gender so much in culture (Bigler & Liben, 2007). Developmental intergroup theory postulates that adults' heavy focus on gender leads children to pay attention to gender as a key source of information about themselves and others, to seek out any possible gender differences, and to form rigid stereotypes based on gender that are subsequently difficult to change.

Transgender Children

Many young children do not conform to the gender roles modeled by the culture and even push back against assigned roles. However, a small percentage of children actively reject the toys, clothing, and anatomy of their assigned sex and state they prefer the toys, clothing and anatomy of the opposite sex. Approximately 0.3 percent of the United States population identify as transgender or identifying with the gender opposite their natal sex (Olson & Gülgöz, 2018). Some of these children may experience gender dysphoria, or a marked incongruence between one's assigned gender and their experienced/expressed gender (American Psychiatric Association, 2022). However, other children do not experience discomfort regarding their gender identity. Transgender adults have stated that they identified with the opposite gender as soon as they began talking (Russo, 2016).

Current research is now looking at those young children who identify as transgender and have socially transitioned. In 2013, a longitudinal study following 300 socially transitioned transgender children between the ages of 3 and 12 began (Olson & Gülgöz, 2018). Socially transitioned transgender children identify with the gender opposite than the one assigned at birth, and they change their appearance and pronouns to reflect their gender identity. Findings from the study indicated that the gender development of these socially transitioned children looked similar to the gender development of cisgender children, or those whose gender and sex assignment at birth matched. These socially transitioned transgender children exhibited similar gender preferences and gender identities as their gender-matched peers. Further, these children who were living every day according to their gender identity and were supported by their families exhibited positive mental health.

Intersex individuals

Some individuals are intersex; that is, born with either an absence or some combination of male and female reproductive organs, sex hormones, or sex chromosomes (Jarne & Auld, 2006). In humans, intersex individuals make up more than 150 million people, or about two percent of the world's population (Blackless et al., 2000). There are dozens of intersex conditions, and intersex individuals demonstrate the diverse variations of biological sex. Some examples of intersex conditions include:

• Turner syndrome or the absence of, or an imperfect, second X chromosome
• Congenital adrenal hyperplasia or a genetic disorder caused by an increased production of androgens
• Androgen insensitivity syndrome or a condition where a person has one X and one Y chromosome, but is resistant to the male hormones or androgens

Greater attention to the rights of children born intersex is occurring in the medical field, and intersex children and their parents should work closely with specialists to ensure these children develop positive gender identities.

There might be some intersex individuals who identify as transgender or vice versa. However, being intersex does not necessarily mean that the person is transgender, nor are transgender people always or often intersex.

How much does gender matter for children?

Starting at birth, children learn the social meanings of gender from adults and their culture. Gender roles and expectations are especially portrayed in children's toys, books, commercials, video games, movies, television shows and music (Khorr, 2017). Therefore, when children make choices regarding their gender identification, expression, and behavior that may be contrary to gender stereotypes, it is important that they feel supported by the caring adults in their lives. This support allows children to feel valued, resilient, and develop a secure sense of self (American Academy of Pediatricians, 2015).