16.2: Development of Self

Learning Objectives

1. Explain how self-concept develops in early childhood through social interaction.
2. Describe the role of self-control in early childhood development.
3. Analyze the relationship between play and self-regulation.

Early childhood is a time of forming an initial sense of self. A self-concept, or an idea of who we are, what we are capable of doing, and how we think and feel, is a social process that involves considering how others view us. To develop a sense of self, you must interact with others. Interactionist theorists, Cooley and Mead, offer two interesting explanations of how a sense of self develops.

Theories

Cooley & The Looking-Glass Self

Charles Horton Cooley (1964) suggests that our self-concept is shaped by observing how others respond to us. This process, known as the looking-glass self, involves observing how others perceive us and interpreting this as we make judgments about our own qualities, such as being good or bad, strong or weak, beautiful or ugly, and so on. Of course, we do not always interpret their responses accurately, so our self-concept is not simply a mirror reflection of the views of others. After forming an initial self-concept, we may use it as a mental filter, screening out those responses that do not seem to fit our ideas of who we are. Some compliments may be negated, for example. The process of the looking-glass self is pronounced when we are preschoolers, or perhaps when we are in a new school or job, or are taking on a new role in our personal lives, and are trying to gauge our own performances. When we feel more sure of who we are, we focus less on how we appear to others. ²

Figure \(\PageIndex{1}\): A child looking at herself wearing glasses in a mirror. Image is in the public domain.

Mead & "I/Me"

Herbert Mead (1967) offers an explanation of how we develop a social sense of self by being able to see ourselves through the eyes of others. There are two parts of the self: the “I,” which is the part of the self that is spontaneous, creative, innate, and is not concerned with how others view us, and the “me,” or the social definition of who we are.

When we are born, we are all “I” and act without concern about how others view us. But the socialized self begins when we are able to consider how one important person views us. This initial stage is called “taking the role of the significant other”. For example, a child may pull a cat’s tail and be told by his mother, “No! Don’t do that, that’s bad,” while receiving a slight slap on the hand. Later, the child may mimic the same behavior toward themselves and say aloud, “No, that’s bad” while patting his own hand. What has happened? The child can see himself through the eyes of the mother. As the child grows and is exposed to various cultural situations and norms, they begin to view themselves through the eyes of others, shaped by these cultural norms. This is referred to as “taking the role of the generalized other” and results in a sense of self with many dimensions. The child develops a sense of self as a student, a friend, a son, and so on.

Exaggerated Sense of Self

One way to gain a clearer sense of self is to exaggerate those qualities that you want to incorporate into yourself. Preschoolers often like to exaggerate their qualities or to seek validation as the biggest, smartest, or child who can jump the highest. This exaggeration tends to be replaced by a more realistic sense of self in middle childhood.

Self-Concept & Self-Esteem

Early childhood is a time of forming an initial sense of self. Self-concept refers to our self-description in various categories, including both external and internal qualities. These can include physical characteristics, possessions, abilities, feelings, and other basic information (e.g., a child's age or where they live). As children age, their self-concept will change. Autobiographical memories, also known as coherent memories, begin to develop in early childhood and can significantly impact a child's self-concept. When parents and caregivers guide children in complex discussions about events, children remember details and understand them in more complex ways, which contributes to more accurate memories and influences how children describe themselves (Prebble et al., 2013).

In contrast, self-esteem is an evaluative judgment about who we are. The emergence of cognitive skills in this age group results in improved perceptions of the self, but they tend to focus on external qualities, which are referred to as the categorical self. When researchers ask young children to describe themselves, their descriptions tend to include physical descriptors, preferred activities, and favorite possessions. Thus, the self-description of a 3-year-old might be that of a 3-year-old girl with red hair who enjoys playing with blocks. However, even children as young as three know there is more to themselves than these external characteristics.

Harter and Pike (1984) challenged the method of measuring personality with open-ended questions, as they felt that language limitations hindered the ability of young children to express their self-knowledge. They suggested a change to the method of measuring self-concept in young children, whereby researchers provide statements that ask whether something is true of the child (e.g., “I like to boss people around”, “I am grumpy most of the time”). They discovered that in early childhood, children answer these statements in an internally consistent manner, especially after the age of four (Goodvin et.al, 2008) and often give similar responses to what others (parents and teachers) say about the child (Brown et.al, 2008; Colwell & Lindsey, 2003).

Figure \(\PageIndex{2}\): Young children don’t always feel good about themselves. Image by Lisa Runnels is licensed CC0.

Young children tend to have a generally positive self-image. This optimism is often the result of a lack of social comparison when making self-evaluations (Ruble et al., 1980), as well as a comparison between what the child once could do and what they can do now (Kemple, 1995). However, this does not mean that preschool children are exempt from negative self-evaluations. Preschool children with insecure attachments to their caregivers tend to have lower self-esteem at age four (Goodvin et al., 2008). Goodwin and her colleagues also found that maternal negative affect (emotional state) produces more negative self-evaluations in preschool children.

Self-Control

Self-control is not a single phenomenon, but rather a multifaceted one. It includes response initiation, the ability to not initiate a behavior before you have evaluated all of the information, response inhibition, the ability to stop a behavior that has already begun, and delayed gratification, the ability to hold out for a larger reward by forgoing a smaller immediate reward (Dougherty et. al, 2005). It is in early childhood that we see the start of self-control, a process that takes many years to fully develop. In the now classic “Marshmallow Test” (Mischel et. al, 1972), children are confronted with the choice of a small immediate reward (a marshmallow) and a larger delayed reward (more marshmallows). Walter Mischel and his colleagues over the years have found that the ability to delay gratification at the age of four predicted better academic performance and health later in life (Mischel, et al., 2011). Self-control is related to executive function, discussed earlier in the chapter. As executive function improves, children become less impulsive (Traverso et. al, 2015). ⁵

Self-Control and Play

Thanks to the new Centre for Research on Play in Education, Development and Learning (PEDaL), Zhao, Whitebread, Baker, Gibson, and a team of researchers (2019) aim to provide evidence on the role played by play in a child's development.

“A strong possibility is that play supports the early development of children’s self-control,” explains Baker. “These are our abilities to develop awareness of our own thinking processes – they influence how effectively we go about undertaking challenging activities.”

In a study carried out by Baker with toddlers and young preschoolers, she found that children with greater self-control solved problems more quickly when exploring an unfamiliar setup requiring scientific reasoning, regardless of their IQ. “This sort of evidence makes us think that giving children the chance to play will make them more successful and creative problem-solvers in the long run.”

If playful experiences do facilitate this aspect of development, as the researchers suggest, it could be extremely significant for educational practices, because the ability to self-regulate is a key predictor of academic performance.

Gibson adds: “Playful behavior is also an important indicator of healthy social and emotional development. In my previous research, I investigated how observing children at play can give us important clues about their well-being and can even be useful in the diagnosis of neurodevelopmental disorders like autism.” ⁶

References, Contributors and Attributions

2. Children’s Development by Ana R. Leon is licensed under CC BY 4.0

5. Lifespan Development: A Psychological Perspective by Martha Lally and Suzanne Valentine-French is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

6. Play’s the Thing by the University of Cambridge is licensed under CC BY 4.0

Brown, G. L., Mangelsdorf, S. C., Agathen, J. M., & Ho, M. H. (2008). Young children’s self-concepts: Associations with child temperament, mother and father self-concepts, and parenting behaviors. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 29(5), 445–457. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2008.07.002

Colwell, M. J., & Lindsey, E. W. (2003). Teacher-child interactions and preschool children’s perceptions of self and peers. Early Child Development and Care, 173(3), 249–258. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430303092

Dougherty, D. M., Marsh, D. M., Mathias, C. W., & Swann, A. C. (2005). The conceptualization of impulsivity and its relationship to juvenile delinquency. Behavioral Sciences & the Law, 23(1), 23–47. https://doi.org/10.1002/bsl.629

Goodvin, R., Meyer, S., Thompson, R. A., & Hayes, R. (2008). Self-understanding in early childhood: Associations with child and mother self-reports of attachment, temperament, and behavioral adjustment. Infant and Child Development, 17(3), 283–300. https://doi.org/10.1002/icd.554

Harter, S., & Pike, R. (1984). The pictorial scale of perceived competence and social acceptance for young children. Child Development, 55(6), 1969–1982. https://doi.org/10.2307/1129771

Kemple, K. M. (1995). Listening to young children: The role of self-concept in early childhood education. Cengage Learning.

Mischel, W., Ebbesen, E. B., & Zeiss, A. R. (1972). Cognitive and attentional mechanisms in delay of gratification. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 21(2), 204–218. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0032198

Mischel, W., Shoda, Y., & Rodriguez, M. L. (2011). Delay of gratification in children. Psychological Review, 126(4), 498–521. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0025202

Prebble, S. C., Addis, D. R., & Tippett, L. J. (2013). Autobiographical memory and sense of self. Psychological Bulletin, 139(4), 815–840. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0030146

Ruble, D. N., Boggiano, A. K., Feldman, N. S., & Loeble, J. L. (1980). Developmental aspects of comparisons in achievement settings. Developmental Psychology, 16(2), 105–115. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.16.2.105

Traverso, L., Viterbori, P., & Usai, M. C. (2015). Improving executive function in childhood: Evaluation of a training intervention for 5-year-olds. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, 525. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00525

Zhao, V. Y., Kulkarni, K., Gibson, J., Baker, S., & Ramchandani, P. G. (2019). Introducing the Play in Education, Development and Learning (PEDAL) Research Centre. International Journal of Play, 8(3), 308–319. https://doi.org/10.1080/21594937.2019.1684144