5.1: Getting the most out of your listening
- Page ID
- 152972
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\(\newcommand{\avec}{\mathbf a}\) \(\newcommand{\bvec}{\mathbf b}\) \(\newcommand{\cvec}{\mathbf c}\) \(\newcommand{\dvec}{\mathbf d}\) \(\newcommand{\dtil}{\widetilde{\mathbf d}}\) \(\newcommand{\evec}{\mathbf e}\) \(\newcommand{\fvec}{\mathbf f}\) \(\newcommand{\nvec}{\mathbf n}\) \(\newcommand{\pvec}{\mathbf p}\) \(\newcommand{\qvec}{\mathbf q}\) \(\newcommand{\svec}{\mathbf s}\) \(\newcommand{\tvec}{\mathbf t}\) \(\newcommand{\uvec}{\mathbf u}\) \(\newcommand{\vvec}{\mathbf v}\) \(\newcommand{\wvec}{\mathbf w}\) \(\newcommand{\xvec}{\mathbf x}\) \(\newcommand{\yvec}{\mathbf y}\) \(\newcommand{\zvec}{\mathbf z}\) \(\newcommand{\rvec}{\mathbf r}\) \(\newcommand{\mvec}{\mathbf m}\) \(\newcommand{\zerovec}{\mathbf 0}\) \(\newcommand{\onevec}{\mathbf 1}\) \(\newcommand{\real}{\mathbb R}\) \(\newcommand{\twovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\ctwovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\threevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cthreevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\mattwo}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{rr}#1 \amp #2 \\ #3 \amp #4 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\laspan}[1]{\text{Span}\{#1\}}\) \(\newcommand{\bcal}{\cal B}\) \(\newcommand{\ccal}{\cal C}\) \(\newcommand{\scal}{\cal S}\) \(\newcommand{\wcal}{\cal W}\) \(\newcommand{\ecal}{\cal E}\) \(\newcommand{\coords}[2]{\left\{#1\right\}_{#2}}\) \(\newcommand{\gray}[1]{\color{gray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\lgray}[1]{\color{lightgray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\rank}{\operatorname{rank}}\) \(\newcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\col}{\text{Col}}\) \(\renewcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\nul}{\text{Nul}}\) \(\newcommand{\var}{\text{Var}}\) \(\newcommand{\corr}{\text{corr}}\) \(\newcommand{\len}[1]{\left|#1\right|}\) \(\newcommand{\bbar}{\overline{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bhat}{\widehat{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bperp}{\bvec^\perp}\) \(\newcommand{\xhat}{\widehat{\xvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\vhat}{\widehat{\vvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\uhat}{\widehat{\uvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\what}{\widehat{\wvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\Sighat}{\widehat{\Sigma}}\) \(\newcommand{\lt}{<}\) \(\newcommand{\gt}{>}\) \(\newcommand{\amp}{&}\) \(\definecolor{fillinmathshade}{gray}{0.9}\)As we said, to get ahead in life or your career, good listening skills are essential. How can you develop those?
Step 1: Assess your listening skills. There are five key skills for improved listening. Which of these are you good at, and which need more work?
· Recalling details. Ask yourself two key questions: Do I need to take action on this now or later? What information do I need to remember to take action?
· Understand the big picture. You want to be able to grasp the overall meaning, the key ideas, even if you can’t recall all the details. Ask yourself:
a. How will this information have an impact five years from now?
b. How do I explain this to someone who is not familiar with this organization or subject?
c. After a lecture, describe the key ideas presented.
· Evaluate content. Form an opinion about what you heard.
a. Is the speaker making a viable argument?
b. Are both pros and cons presented?
c. Is the evidence presented recent, credible and relevant?
d. Are there any fallacies in the presentation?
e. When it comes to news stories, evaluate news stories and commentaries. Decide if the opinion presented is your opinion.
· Much of the meaning may come from nonverbal clues. We’ll cover nonverbals in the next chapter, but it’s essentially “reading between the lines.” In this video, Carol Kinsey Goman discusses the five qualities that people look for in their leaders.
How to Build Your Leadership Presence
- List the five qualities and be prepared to discuss them.
One effective way to learn nonverbal clues is to watch people converse in another language or to watch a soap opera.
· Listen with empathy – do you find it easy to recognize when someone is upset, angry, happy, etc. This is especially important when dealing with a conflict situation, when you should –
o Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes
o Try to be a mirror to the speaker
o Use acknowledging responses such as, “I see,” “uh huh,” etc.
o Avoid discounting phrases.
Effective listening behaviors.
First, clarify your role. What does the speaker want from you? Some people make it very clear, “Just let me vent,” or, “just hear me out.” But if you don’t get those clues, ask the speaker what he wants you to do. It will help if you know your information-processing preferences. Some of us instinctively value logic or value appreciation, we seek to understand, we listen for compassion.
Second, understand that 93% of what is communicated is the emotional meaning of a message according to UCLA psychologist Albert Mehrabian, who says emotional meaning comes from nonverbals, including facial expressions such as your smile, eye contact, and personal space.
Third, when you’re listening, practice silence – no fidgeting, swaying, glancing around, or shifting positions. Sitting still gives the impression that you’ve given the speaker your undivided attention. Also, understand that in Korea, Japan, and China, silence can be interpreted as showing respect.
Fourth, paraphrase what was said to clarify understanding. Summarize the message in just a few works. This allows you to check your understanding.
Fifth, match the speaker’s emotions. Great listeners mirror the speaker’s physical movement or vocalics, pacing, or vocabulary.
Set Your listening goals
If you are using Benjamin Franklin’s method for tracking his 13 virtues (chapter 1), add your two listening goals. If not, list them across the top of a sheet of paper, and down the side provide 31 lines. At the end of the day, check off where you need to improve.
References
University of Waterloo (2022, July 6). Curve of forgetting. Campus Wellness. https://uwaterloo.ca/campus-wellness/curve-forgetting
Hogan, T.P., Adlog, S.M. & Alonzo, C., (2014). On the importance of listening comprehension. International Journal of Speech Language Pathology 16(3) p. 199-207. doi: 10.3109/17549507.2014.904441