3.3: Emotion Management

Emotion Management

Managing emotions is crucial for maintaining overall well-being. This section explores foundational theories from psychological literature regarding the nature of emotions, while also considering God's purposes for emotions and recognizing their functionality in our lives. By integrating psychological insights with a Christian perspective, we can develop effective strategies for emotional management that honor both our humanity and our faith.

Understanding Emotions: Theoretical Foundations

An emotion is a response to a situation that is relevant to a currently active goal. Your goals give meaning to a situation, and the meaning gives rise to the emotion. For example, if you are writing a paper and your goal is to finish a paper for a difficult class by midnight and your roommate interrupts you several times to engage in casual conversation, your emotion might be irritation. The meaning you give to her interruption is that he/she is inconsiderate or unaware. However, if you are on the computer to scroll through a social media feed to find ideas for what to wear to an outing and your roommate interrupts you, the meaning of his/her interruptions may be an attempt at developing a friendship and you may be less irritated.

The modal model of emotional generation (Gross, 2014) claims that we experience motion through the following process:

• First, we find ourselves in a situation.
• Second, we give attention to a specific aspect of that situation.
• Third, we appraise the aspect that we have noticed which gives rise to an emotion.
• Finally, this emotion prompts a behavioral response that impacts the situation to influence or change it.

A key part of the sequence is the appraisal or meaning-making component. Another key part of the sequence is your behavioral response. Even if you feel an emotion, such as irritation toward your roommate, you are in control of your response to that emotion. You may say something bitingly sarcastic to your roommate, or you may kindly explain to her why you need to focus and why you need to put your headphones on to drown out distraction.

As you experience emotions it is important to assess WHY you feel the emotion, consider the meaning that you are assigning to a situation, and think before you engage in a response.

Emotional Regulation

In the chapter concerning self-awareness, you may have noticed habits or tendencies about yourself that you may consider unhealthy that you would like to change. For many of us, these concern emotions. Perhaps we are too often reluctant to engage with other people or try new things because of fear. Others of us hurt friends and family members because of anger. Some of us have a sense of shame that prevents us from confession and healing. For many of us, dealing with stress is a constant struggle. In these cases, you may want to use an emotional regulation strategy. Emotion-regulation strategies are ways to disrupt the modal model sequence of situation-attention-appraisal-response.

Here are some strategies to assist with emotional regulation:

Situation Selection. This addresses the very first step in the modal model sequence. With the emotional regulation strategy of situation selection, you avoid situations where you are most likely to experience an emotion. For example, if you are afraid of dogs, you avoid situations in which there are dogs to avoid the experience of fear. If a particular person makes you angry, you avoid situations where you will need to interact with that person to avoid the anger. This can be an acceptable strategy if you know the strategy is time-bound. For example, if you had a bad experience with a professor and it is possible for you to not take a class with that professor again then you can use situation selection. However, it is not a good strategy overall. If you use avoidance as your primary regulation strategy, it can prevent you from enjoying the life God gave you. In fact, in some situations, people who engage in more avoidance strategies had increased depressive symptoms (Holahan et al., 2005).

Situation Modification. This strategy is also aimed at the situational aspect of the emotion sequence. In situation modification, you do not avoid a situation, but you prepare yourself for it and make small changes to change the emotion that comes from it. For example, if you are afraid of dogs, but your friend has a dog, you might ask her to keep it inside while you come over for a visit. Or perhaps you had a relationship that ended poorly and the memories are distressing. If you are invited to a social event that includes that person, you may ask to bring a friend or ask if you could come later to reduce the time spent with that person. Situation modification is generally more effective than situation selection. Controlling some parts of the situation is an active response which is associated with better health and well-being (Penley et al., 2002).

Attentional Deployment. Attentional deployment is a regulation strategy that works on the second step in the process of emotional experience: attention. Once you are in a situation, something about the situation draws your attention. Attentional deployment is a regulation strategy in which you remain in the situation but try to draw your attention away from things that might arouse emotion. For example, there may be something disgusting on the chair next to you during a meeting, so you try not to look at it or think about it. This is one of the least successful of all the emotional regulation strategies. Trying not to think about something almost always backfires. For example, try not to think about a giant magenta walrus. You are likely thinking about a giant magenta walrus right now, aren’t you? Some research suggests that if you really want to work on the attention part of the emotion sequence, the best thing to do is to fill your attention with something else. For example, instead of thinking about a giant magenta walrus, think about Santa Claus dancing with a hula-hoop. The Bible speaks about how we are to think in Philippians 4:8 (NIV) where it states, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Cognitive Change. Cognitive change works on the appraisal (third) step of the sequence of emotion. This strategy has to do with the meaning that is assigned to a situation. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of assuming the worst about the person and getting angry, you consider the option that the person might need to get to a hospital due to a medical emergency. If you tend to respond to unexpected events or new challenges with stress, you could consider the challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats. Cognitive reappraisal—that is, reinterpreting the meaning of the situation in benign or positive ways—is especially associated with positive physical and psychological outcomes (Maras & Leger, 2024). Cognitive reappraisal is one of the primary techniques used in cognitive behavioral therapy. For example, if you get a bad grade on an assignment, you could appraise the situation by believing that you are stupid or the professor does not like you. Instead, cognitive reappraisal reinterprets meaning to view the bad grade as a fluke since you usually do well in the class or that a different study strategy needs to be used for the next assignment.

Response Modulation. Response modulation does not affect the experience of an emotion, but is an intervention of the behavioral response to the felt emotion. For example, if you are frustrated by co-workers, you may choose to go for a long walk when you get home rather than snapping at them in the moment. Many of the coping mechanisms that are popular in contemporary wellbeing literature are about response modulation, including self-expression, exercise, relaxation techniques, positive self-talk, seeking social support, prayer, and meditation. Unfortunately, the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, food, video games, and pornography are also response modulations. In many instances, experiencing an emotion is unavoidable and response modulation is an important strategy in experiencing emotions so that we do not engage in sinful behaviors. Emotions like anger, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, anxiety, and loneliness can often lead us to sinful behaviors. Response modulation is about purposefully and mindfully acknowledging the emotion that we are experiencing and choosing an appropriate response.

Self-Assessment: Emotion Management Test \(\PageIndex{1}\)

Respond to Questions 1-6 below using the following options:

• 0 – completely disagree
• 1 – somewhat disagree
• 2 – neither disagree nor agree
• 3 – somewhat agree
• 4 – completely agree

Questions:

1. Lately, I have been feeling completely overwhelmed.
2. Lately, I cannot seem to get in control of all the things going on in my life.
3. Lately, I have felt like I am drowning in things that demand my attention.
4. Lately, I have been feeling stressed almost all the time.
5. There have been times lately where I have just wanted to give up on everything.
6. I have noticed lately that I can feel the physical toll of stress on my body.

Calculate your total score by adding up all the points.

Score of 0–11: If your score was between 0 and 11, you appear to be managing your emotions effectively and maintaining a healthy emotional balance.

• Reflect on why you are not currently overwhelmed and how you will maintain a healthy level of stress. What strategies, habits, or support systems are helping you regulate your emotions well? Consider how you can continue reinforcing these practices to maintain emotional well-being during times of increased stress.

Score of 12–17: If your score was between 12 and 17, you may be experiencing occasional emotional strain.

• Reflect on strategies you will take to prevent becoming overwhelmed. Which specific emotions are harder for you to manage (e.g., anger, anxiety, sadness)? What strategies, habits, or support systems can help you prevent emotional overwhelm? Consider incorporating regular practices like journaling, deep breathing, talking with a trusted person, or setting emotional boundaries.

Score of 18–24: If your score was between 18 and 24, you may currently be struggling with managing your emotions effectively.

• Reflect on why you think you received this score and whether there are any responsibilities, goals, or commitments in your life that might be able to reduce stress.

Disclaimer: This scale is not diagnostic but is only intended for self-reflection. It has not undergone any rigorous scientific measures of validity or reliability.

This assessment is also available as a PDF download: 3.3.1 - Self-Assessment Emotion Management Test

Self-Assessment Reflection Questions for Emotion Management \(\PageIndex{2}\)

1. Based on your total score, reflect on the possible sources of emotional overload, such as overwhelming responsibilities, unrealistic goals, or unresolved conflict. Consider what changes you might make to reduce emotional pressure. Are there commitments you can delegate or adjust? Would support from a counselor, mentor, or friend help you regain stability?
2. Write a short reflection (5 -7 sentences) summarizing what you have learned about your current emotional state and what practical next steps you can take to strengthen your emotional regulation.

These reflection questions are also available as a PDF download: 3.3.2 - Self-Assessment Reflection Questions for Emotion Management

Self-Reflection Prompts: Go Deeper! \(\PageIndex{3}\)

For the following reflection, remember the five different emotional regulation strategies:

• Situation selection
• Situation modification
• Attentional deployment
• Cognitive change
• Response modulation

1. Think of a time when you used one of these emotional regulation strategies and it worked. What was the emotion you had that you wanted to regulate? What did you do to regulate it? Label the strategy from the list above and share why you think it was so successful.
   • Example: A while back, I had a whole bunch of health scares all at once. I was completely stressed, so I used attentional deployment to focus on just one at a time. It worked because some were more urgent than others, and I really could prioritize my attention – I was not just ignoring the things I was stressed about.
2. Think of a time when you used one of these emotional regulation strategies and it did NOT work for you. What was the emotion you had that you wanted to regulate? What did you do to try to regulate it? Label the strategy from the list above and share why you think it was NOT successful.
   • Example: One semester, I thought I could handle eighteen credit hours plus softball. I was completely overwhelmed. I tried situation modification by creating a small desk space in my dorm room where I would do all my homework, and I put pictures of my family, and favorite Bible verses, and all the things that usually keep me calm. It was unsuccessful because I had to share my dorm room space with my roommate, who was a very loud and busy person. I did not have actual control of the situation I was trying to modify.
3. Think of an emotion that you experience often that you would like to better regulate. Are there any emotional regulation strategies that you read about that you think you might be able to use? If so, which one and how would you use it?
   • Example: I find myself getting jealous when I see other students doing well in classes that I think are much easier than the classes I am taking. I feel like it is not fair that they are going to get scholarships because of their high GPA from taking easy classes, while I must work twice as hard to get the same GPA because of the major I chose and the classes I take. I think I need to do some cognitive change with my performance goals and remind myself that I need to have mastery goals. In the end, it is not about the GPA; I must master this material if I want to go on to get my doctorate in medicine and save lives. I could also do cognitive change by reminding myself that God calls all of us to different careers and gives all of us different challenges.

These questions are also available as a PDF download: 3.3.3 - Self-Reflection Prompts Go Deeper!

References:

Gross, J. J. (2014). Emotion regulation: Conceptual and empirical foundations. In J. J. Gross (Ed.), Handbook of Emotion Regulation (2nd ed.) (pp. 3-20). New York: Guilford Press.

Holahan, C. J., Moos, R. H., Holahan, C. K., Brennan, P. L., & Schutte, K. K. (2005). Stress generation, avoidance coping, and depressive symptoms: A 10-year model. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73(4), 658-666. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.73.4.658

Maras, J., & Leger, K. A. (2024). "Think of the situation in a positive light": A look at cognitive reappraisal, affective reactivity and health. Social Science & Medicine, 346, Article 116701. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2024.116701

Penley, J. A., Tomaka, J., & Wiebe, J. S. (2002). The association of coping to physical and psychological health outcomes: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 25(6), 551–603. https://doi.org/10.1023/a:1020641400589