6.3: Parenting Is Bidirectional
- Page ID
- 233853
\( \newcommand{\vecs}[1]{\overset { \scriptstyle \rightharpoonup} {\mathbf{#1}} } \)
\( \newcommand{\vecd}[1]{\overset{-\!-\!\rightharpoonup}{\vphantom{a}\smash {#1}}} \)
\( \newcommand{\id}{\mathrm{id}}\) \( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\)
( \newcommand{\kernel}{\mathrm{null}\,}\) \( \newcommand{\range}{\mathrm{range}\,}\)
\( \newcommand{\RealPart}{\mathrm{Re}}\) \( \newcommand{\ImaginaryPart}{\mathrm{Im}}\)
\( \newcommand{\Argument}{\mathrm{Arg}}\) \( \newcommand{\norm}[1]{\| #1 \|}\)
\( \newcommand{\inner}[2]{\langle #1, #2 \rangle}\)
\( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\)
\( \newcommand{\id}{\mathrm{id}}\)
\( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\)
\( \newcommand{\kernel}{\mathrm{null}\,}\)
\( \newcommand{\range}{\mathrm{range}\,}\)
\( \newcommand{\RealPart}{\mathrm{Re}}\)
\( \newcommand{\ImaginaryPart}{\mathrm{Im}}\)
\( \newcommand{\Argument}{\mathrm{Arg}}\)
\( \newcommand{\norm}[1]{\| #1 \|}\)
\( \newcommand{\inner}[2]{\langle #1, #2 \rangle}\)
\( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\) \( \newcommand{\AA}{\unicode[.8,0]{x212B}}\)
\( \newcommand{\vectorA}[1]{\vec{#1}} % arrow\)
\( \newcommand{\vectorAt}[1]{\vec{\text{#1}}} % arrow\)
\( \newcommand{\vectorB}[1]{\overset { \scriptstyle \rightharpoonup} {\mathbf{#1}} } \)
\( \newcommand{\vectorC}[1]{\textbf{#1}} \)
\( \newcommand{\vectorD}[1]{\overrightarrow{#1}} \)
\( \newcommand{\vectorDt}[1]{\overrightarrow{\text{#1}}} \)
\( \newcommand{\vectE}[1]{\overset{-\!-\!\rightharpoonup}{\vphantom{a}\smash{\mathbf {#1}}}} \)
\( \newcommand{\vecs}[1]{\overset { \scriptstyle \rightharpoonup} {\mathbf{#1}} } \)
\( \newcommand{\vecd}[1]{\overset{-\!-\!\rightharpoonup}{\vphantom{a}\smash {#1}}} \)
\(\newcommand{\avec}{\mathbf a}\) \(\newcommand{\bvec}{\mathbf b}\) \(\newcommand{\cvec}{\mathbf c}\) \(\newcommand{\dvec}{\mathbf d}\) \(\newcommand{\dtil}{\widetilde{\mathbf d}}\) \(\newcommand{\evec}{\mathbf e}\) \(\newcommand{\fvec}{\mathbf f}\) \(\newcommand{\nvec}{\mathbf n}\) \(\newcommand{\pvec}{\mathbf p}\) \(\newcommand{\qvec}{\mathbf q}\) \(\newcommand{\svec}{\mathbf s}\) \(\newcommand{\tvec}{\mathbf t}\) \(\newcommand{\uvec}{\mathbf u}\) \(\newcommand{\vvec}{\mathbf v}\) \(\newcommand{\wvec}{\mathbf w}\) \(\newcommand{\xvec}{\mathbf x}\) \(\newcommand{\yvec}{\mathbf y}\) \(\newcommand{\zvec}{\mathbf z}\) \(\newcommand{\rvec}{\mathbf r}\) \(\newcommand{\mvec}{\mathbf m}\) \(\newcommand{\zerovec}{\mathbf 0}\) \(\newcommand{\onevec}{\mathbf 1}\) \(\newcommand{\real}{\mathbb R}\) \(\newcommand{\twovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\ctwovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\threevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cthreevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\mattwo}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{rr}#1 \amp #2 \\ #3 \amp #4 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\laspan}[1]{\text{Span}\{#1\}}\) \(\newcommand{\bcal}{\cal B}\) \(\newcommand{\ccal}{\cal C}\) \(\newcommand{\scal}{\cal S}\) \(\newcommand{\wcal}{\cal W}\) \(\newcommand{\ecal}{\cal E}\) \(\newcommand{\coords}[2]{\left\{#1\right\}_{#2}}\) \(\newcommand{\gray}[1]{\color{gray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\lgray}[1]{\color{lightgray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\rank}{\operatorname{rank}}\) \(\newcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\col}{\text{Col}}\) \(\renewcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\nul}{\text{Nul}}\) \(\newcommand{\var}{\text{Var}}\) \(\newcommand{\corr}{\text{corr}}\) \(\newcommand{\len}[1]{\left|#1\right|}\) \(\newcommand{\bbar}{\overline{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bhat}{\widehat{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bperp}{\bvec^\perp}\) \(\newcommand{\xhat}{\widehat{\xvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\vhat}{\widehat{\vvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\uhat}{\widehat{\uvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\what}{\widehat{\wvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\Sighat}{\widehat{\Sigma}}\) \(\newcommand{\lt}{<}\) \(\newcommand{\gt}{>}\) \(\newcommand{\amp}{&}\) \(\definecolor{fillinmathshade}{gray}{0.9}\)Parenting Is Bidirectional
Fig. 6.3. Parents in two-way interaction with toddler.
Image Source: Family first. Freerange.com. Equalicense.
The concept, Parenting is Bidirectional, means that parents affect ther children AND children influence their parents.
Parenting is a complex process in which parents and children influence one another. There are many reasons that parents behave the way they do. The multiple influences on parenting are still being explored.
Proposed influences on parental behavior include
- parent characteristics
- child characteristics
- contextual and sociocultural characteristics
Parent Characteristics
Parents bring unique traits and qualities to the parenting relationship that affect their decisions as parents. These characteristics include the
- age of the parent
- gender
- belief systems
- personality
- developmental history
- knowledge about parenting and child development
- mental and physical health
Parents’ personalities affect parenting behaviors. Parents who have more agreeable personality traits appear to be better able to respond to their children positively and provide a more consistent, structured environment for their children. Parents who are less anxious and less negative also support their children’s autonomy more than parents who are anxious and less agreeable.
Parents’ developmental histories, or their experiences as children, also affect their parenting strategies. Parents may learn parenting practices from their own parents. Fathers whose own parents provided monitoring, consistent and age-appropriate discipline, and warmth were more likely to provide this constructive parenting to their own children
Patterns of negative parenting and ineffective discipline also appear from one generation to the next. However, parents who are dissatisfied with their own parents’ approach may be more likely to change their parenting methods with their own children.
Child Characteristics
Child characteristics affect parenting behaviors and roles.
- gender
- birth order
- temperament (easy, difficulty, slow to warm, or a combination of these)
- health status
An infant with an easy temperament may enable parents to feel more effective, as they are easily able to soothe the child and elicit smiling and cooing.
A cranky or fussy infant with a difficult temperament, elicits fewer positive reactions from his or her parents and may result in parents feeling less effective in the parenting role. Over time, parents of more difficult children may become more punitive and less patient with their children. Parents who have a fussy, difficult child are less satisfied with their marriages and have greater challenges in balancing work and family roles.
Contextual Factors and Sociocultural Characteristics
The parent–child relationship does not exist in isolation.
Context is the circumstances in which parents are raising their children also influence their parenting. Parents who experience economic hardship are more easily frustrated, depressed, and sad, and these emotional characteristics affect their parenting skills. For example, mothers who perceived their neighborhood as more dangerous also showed less warmth with their children, perhaps because of the greater stress associated with living a threatening environment.
- economic stability vs. economic hardship or poverty
- housing
- food
- healthcare
- social networks and social support (or lack of)
- safety of schools and neighborhood
Culture also influences parenting behaviors in fundamental ways. Culture is a complex, learned, and shared way of life for communities of people which shape how people interact with each other and their larger community. The term culture refers to all the beliefs, customs, ideas, behaviors, and traditions of a society that are passed through generations. Culture is transmitted to people through language as well as through the modeling of behavior, and it defines which traits and behaviors are considered important, desirable, or undesirable.
Culture is dynamic, not static, constantly evolving as societies change and interact with each other. Cultural elements include
- common understanding of what is right, wrong, and important
- traditions and customs - behavior and rituals passed down through generations
- ways people dress, eat, and greet each other
- rituals associated with major life events like births, marriages, and deaths
- education - the specific process by which knowledge and skills are passed from one generation to the next
- arts and literature - different forms of creative expression (visual art, film, music, theater, etc.) that reflect a culture's values and belief
- social norms - rules and expectations for how individuals should behave in specific situation
- religion or a belief system that provides meaning and purpose in life
- politics and government - a system of laws and institutions that govern a society
- language - primary means of communication and expression
- language and communication styles can vary significantly across cultures
Within a culture there are norms and behavioral expectations. These cultural norms can dictate which personality traits are considered important. The researcher Gordon Allport considered culture to be an important influence on traits and defined common traits as those that are recognized within a culture. These traits may vary from culture to culture based on differing values, needs, and beliefs. Positive and negative traits can be determined by cultural expectations: what is considered a positive trait in one culture may be considered negative in another, thus resulting in different expressions of personality across cultures.Personality
An individual’s consistent pattern of feeling, thinking, and behaving, is the result of the continuous interplay between biological disposition and experience.
Temperament does not change dramatically as we grow up, but we may learn how to work around and manage our temperamental qualities. Temperament may be one of the things about us that stays the same throughout development.
Personality develops from temperament. As children mature biologically, temperamental characteristics emerge and change over time. A newborn is not capable of much self-control, but as brain-based capacities for self-control advance, temperamental changes in self-regulation become more apparent. For example, a newborn who cries frequently doesn’t necessarily have a grumpy personality; over time, with enough parental support and increased sense of security, the child might be less likely to cry.
In addition, personality is made up of many other features besides temperament:
- developing self-concept
- motivations to achieve or to socialize
- values and goals
- coping styles
- sense of responsibility and conscientiousness
Many other qualities are encompassed into personality. These qualities are influenced by the child's biological dispositions, but even more by their experiences with others, particularly in close relationships. Both biological disposition and experiences with others guide the growth of individual characteristics and becomes increasingly elaborated, extended, and refined over time.
Cultural Influences and Personality
Considering the influence culture has on personality is important because Western ideas and theories do not apply to all cultures. There is a great deal of evidence that the strength of personality traits varies across cultures.
Individualist Cultures
People who live in individualist cultures tend to believe that independence, competition, and personal achievement are important. People in individualist cultures displayed more personally-oriented personality traits.
- European
- North American
- Australian
Collectivist Cultures
People who live in collectivist cultures tend to value social harmony, respectfulness, and group needs over individual needs. People in collectivist cultures displayed more socially-oriented personality traits.
- Asian
- African
- South American
Cultural Influences and Parental Goals
Parents have different goals for their children that partially depend on their individual culture:
- parents in individualist cultures emphasize goals for independence and individual achievement
- parents in collectivist cultures prioritize maintaining harmonious relationships and being embedded in a strong network of social relationships
Sources
- Diener, Marissa L. The Developing Parent. Noba Module. University of Utah. Licensed under CC NC-SA 4.0.
- Lally, Martha and Suzanne Valentine-French.