6.6: Forming Attachments

Forming Attachments

Definition: Attachment

The close bond with a caregiver from which the infant derives a sense of security.

The formation of attachments in infancy has been the subject of considerable research as attachments have been viewed as foundations for future relationships. Additionally, attachments form the basis for confidence and curiosity as toddlers, and as important influences on self- concept.

John Bowlby: Attachment Theory

John Bowlby developed the concept of attachment theory. He defined attachment as the affectional bond or tie that an infant forms with the mother. An infant must form this bond with a primary caregiver in order to have normal social and emotional development. In addition, Bowlby proposed that this attachment bond is very powerful and continues throughout life. He used the concept of secure base to define a healthy attachment between parent and child.

A secure base is a parental presence that gives the child a sense of safety as the child explores the surroundings.

Secure attachments are characterized by the child's confidence in the caregiver's availability and responsiveness. Children with secure attachments feel safe to explore their environment, show distress when separated from their caregiver, and exhibit joy upon their caregiver's return. Additionally, Bowlby observed that infants would go to extraordinary lengths to prevent separation from their parents, such as crying, refusing to be comforted, and waiting for the caregiver to return.

Fig 6. A mother providing a secure base as her infant plays on a slide.

Image Source: Pxhere.com. Licensed CC0 1.0 Universal

Bowlby also looked at the phenomenon of insecure attachments which are characterized by the child's lack of confidence in their caregiver's availability and responsiveness.

This insecurity can manifest in different ways, such

• avoidant behavior - avoiding or ignoring the caregiver
• resistant behavior - resisting contact with the caregiver
• disorganized behavior - a mix of avoidant and resistant behaviors).

Bowlby observed that these same responses and behaviors were common to many other mammals, and consequently argued that these negative responses to separation serve an evolutionary function. Because mammalian infants cannot feed or protect themselves, they are dependent upon the care and protection of adults for survival. Thus, those infants who were able to maintain proximity to an attachment figure were more likely to survive and reproduce.

Erik Erikson: Stage 1 - Trust vs. Mistrust

In chapter 1 we briefly saw that Erik Erikson formulated an eight-stage theory of psychosocial development. Erikson agreed on the importance of a secure base, arguing that the most important goal of infancy was the development of a basic sense of trust in one’s caregivers. The trust vs. mistrust stage is the first stage of psychologist Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. It begins at birth and lasts until a child is around 18 months to two years old. Since babies are almost entirely dependent on their caregivers, the way parents interact with them has a profound effect on a child's health.

According to Erikson, this is the most important period of a child's life, as it shapes their view of the world as well as their overall personality.

Overview

• Psychosocial Conflict: Trust vs. mistrust
• Major Question: "Can I trust the people around me?"
• Basic Virtue: Hope
• Important Event: Feeding

However, it's important to keep in mind that trust and mistrust exist on a spectrum. People are neither completely trusting nor completely mistrusting. There will be times when a baby's needs go unmet. The key is that an infant's trustworthy relationships and interactions outweigh, for the most part, their untrustworthy ones. A healthy amount of mistrust of our environment prepares us for the reality of the world and an important lesson as adults is to know when to be cautious and self-protective ..

• Problems Establishing Trust

One study done with female twins, both identical and fraternal, concluded that a trusting personality seems to be at least in part genetic, while a mistrustful or distrusting personality seems to be learned from family and other social influences. Erikson believed that mistrust could contaminate all aspects of one’s life and deprive the individual of love and fellowship with others. Consider the implications for establishing trust if a caregiver is unavailable or ill-prepared to care for a child, or if a child is unwanted, or has physical or other problems that make him or her more challenging to parent. Under these circumstances, we cannot assume that the parent is going to provide the child with a feeling of trust.

Children raised by consistently unreliable, unpredictable parents who fail to meet their basic needs eventually develop an overall sense of mistrust. Low levels of trust may result in a child becoming confused, depressed or anxious, socially disengaged, suspicious of others. They may also face peer rejection and experience feelings of loneliness, making it difficult to form healthy relationships.

Interestingly enough, research shows that being raised in an untrustworthy environment may actually make a child more trusting of untrustworthy people. Researchers believe this is due to an adaptive mechanism that makes it possible for a child to form an attachment bond to an untrustworthy caregiver.

Erikson: Stage 2 - Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

This stage occurs between the age of 18 months and around age 2 or 3 years. According to Erikson, children at this stage are focused on developing a greater sense of self-control, an interest in independence or autonomy replaces a concern for trust, as the child begins to walk and talk. Toddlers test the limits of what can be touched, said, and explored.

Overview

• Psychosocial Conflict: Autonomy vs. shame and doubt
• Major Question: "Can I do things myself or am I reliant on the help of others?"
• Basic Virtue: Will
• Important Event(s): Toilet training

Erikson believed that toddlers should be allowed to explore their environment as freely as safety allows and in so doing will develop a sense of independence that will later grow to self-esteem, initiative, and overall confidence. Parents goals should both keep your toddler safe while letting them learn to do things for themselves. This establishes a sense of control over themselves and some basic confidence in their own abilities.

As they progress into the second stage, however, it is important for young children to begin developing a sense of personal independence and control. As they learn Autonomy is an important part of development for children.

Autonomy allows children to

• exercise their critical thinking skills
• feel comfortable in their bodies
• gain a greater sense of their identity
• learn from their own mistakes
• make decisions independently
• process their emotions

It can be challenging to stand by and let kids this age do things on their own. It often means letting them spill their drink, button their shirt incorrectly, or stroll out of the house with their shoes on the wrong feet. While you might be tempted to do these tasks for them to minimize mistakes and messes, letting them try on their own is an integral part of fostering autonomy. Kids who have confidence in their skills are more likely to succeed in subsequent tasks such as mastering social, academic, and other skills.

Ways to encourage autonomy:

• allow the child to pick out their own clothes to wear to preschool—even if the clothes are mismatched
• toilet-train the child and the child gains a sense of independence.
• let the child choose which snacks they'd like along with lunch or which books to "read" and toys to play with

Ways to discourage autonomy:

• consistently rejects the child's ideas
• do not allow a child to make any of their own choices.
• lose patience and intervene to complete the task for them

• Consequences of Shame and Doubt

Shame is defined as a self-conscious emotion that results when a person feels there is something dishonorable about themselves or their conduct. A person who experiences shame may hide parts of themselves from social relationships; they may also engage in avoidant or defensive behaviors. Shame is linked with mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and low self-esteem.

Self-doubt is linked with low self-esteem levels, as well as greater nervousness in regard to performance. Attempts to excessively control children, making decisions for them, and overly surveilling them and their activities may unknowingly contribute to greater levels of self-doubt in their children.

Ir's important to keep in mind that at some point, every child will experience shame and doubt. Erikson's theory simply points out that, during this stage of childhood, a child benefits from having more opportunities than not to engage with the world on their own terms. Being consistently blocked from having their own experiences or voicing their own thoughts, for instance, may be harmful.

Mary Ainsworth and the Strange Situation

Developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth, a student of John Bowlby, continued studying the development of attachment in infants. Ainsworth and her colleagues created a laboratory test that measured an infant’s attachment to his or her parent. The test is called The Strange Situation because it is conducted in a context that is unfamiliar to the child and therefore likely to heighten the child’s need for his or her parent.

During the procedure, which lasts about 20 minutes, the parent and the infant are first left alone, while the infant explores the room full of toys. Then a strange adult enters the room and talks for a minute to the parent, after which the parent leaves the room. The stranger stays with the infant for a few minutes, and then the parent again enters, and the stranger leaves the room. During the entire session, a video camera records the child’s behaviors, which are later coded by the research team. The investigators were especially interested in how the child responded to the caregiver leaving and returning to the room, referred to as the “reunion.”

Categories of Attachment

Based on their behaviors, the children are categorized into one of four groups where each group reflects a different kind of attachment relationship with the caregiver. One style is secure and the other three styles are referred to as insecure.

• A child with a secure attachment style usually explores freely while the caregiver is present and may engage with the stranger. The child will typically play with the toys and bring one to the caregiver to show and describe from time to time. The child may be upset when the caregiver departs but is also happy to see the caregiver return.

• A child with an ambivalent (sometimes called resistant) attachment style is wary about the situation in general, particularly the stranger, and stays close or even clings to the caregiver rather than exploring the toys. When the caregiver leaves, the child is extremely distressed and is ambivalent when the caregiver returns. The child may rush to the caregiver, but then fails to be comforted when picked up. The child may still be angry and even resist attempts to be soothed.

• A child with an avoidant attachment style will avoid or ignore the mother, showing little emotion when the mother departs or returns. The child may run away from the mother when she approaches. The child will not explore very much, regardless of who is there, and the stranger will not be treated much differently from the mother.

• A child with a disorganized/disoriented attachment style seems to have an inconsistent way of coping with the stress of the strange situation. The child may cry during the separation, but avoid the mother when she returns, or the child may approach the mother but then freeze or fall to the floor.

Caregiver Consistency

Consistency plays a pivotal role in a child’s life, providing them with a sense of security, stability, and emotional well-being.

Consistency in caregiving routines, expectations, and responses creates a predictable environment for children. When children know what to expect they:

• feel secure and develop a sense of trust in their caregivers
• are reassured that their needs will be met and that they can rely on their caregivers for support and guidance
• develop a sense of control and mastery over their environment.
• anticipate and participate in daily activities with confidence, enhancing their self-esteem and overall well-being

Consistency in emotional responses from caregivers is crucial for a child’s emotional development. When caregivers consistently respond with warmth, empathy, and understanding, children learn

• to trust their own emotions and develop healthy emotional regulation skills
• to build trust and strengthens the attachment bond between child and caregiver
• that emotional support provides a safe space for them to express their feelings and learn how to navigate them effectively.
• inconsistent emotional responses, such as being dismissive or unpredictable, can
  • lead to confusion and insecurity in children. Inconsistency may
  • cause children to doubt the validity of their emotions
  • question their caregivers’ availability for emotional support

Consistency in communication is another essential element in maintaining consistency. Clear and consistent communication

• helps children understand what is expected of them and what they can expect from their caregivers. Consistent
• in use of language, tone, and behavior fosters a sense of safety and trust

Consistency in discipline is also important. Establishing consistent consequences for behaviors helps children understand the boundaries and expectations set for them, enabling them to develop self-discipline and make appropriate choices.

Social Deprivation

Severe deprivation of parental attachment can lead to serious problems. According to studies of children who have not been given warm, nurturing care, they may show developmental delays, failure to thrive, and attachment disorders (Bowlby, 1982). Non-organic failure to thrive is the diagnosis for an infant who does not grow, develop, or gain weight on schedule. In addition, postpartum depression can cause even a well-intentioned mother to neglect her infant.

Non-organic failure to thrive is the diagnosis for an infant who does not grow, develop, or gain weight on schedule and there is no known medical explanation for this failure. Poverty, neglect, inconsistent parenting, and severe family dysfunction are correlated with non-organic failure to thrive.

Reactive Attachment Disorder

Definition: Reactive Attachment Disorder.

A condition where a child doesn’t form healthy emotional bonds with their caretakers (parental figures), often because of emotional neglect or abuse at an early age. Children with RAD have trouble managing their emotions. They struggle to form meaningful connections with other people. Children with RAD rarely seek or show signs of comfort and may seem fearful of or anxious around their caretakers, even in situations where their caretakers are quite loving and caring. - Cleveland Clinic

Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) may occur when:

• children experience social neglect or deprivation, r
• repeatedly change primary caregivers that limit opportunities to form stable attachments
• reared in unusual settings (such as institutions) that limit opportunities to form stable attachments or have difficulty forming attachments

According to the Diagnostic and Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th ed. those children experiencing neglectful situations and also displaying markedly disturbed and developmentally inappropriate attachment behavior:

• being inhibited and withdrawn
• display minimal social and emotional responsiveness to others, and
• have a limited positive affect

This disorder often occurs with developmental delays, especially in cognitive and language areas.

Fortunately, most severely neglected children do not develop Reactive Attachment Disorder, occurring in less than 10% of such children. The quality of the caregiving environment after serious neglect also affects the development of this disorder.

Resiliency

Being able to overcome challenges and successfully adapt is known as resiliency. Even young children can exhibit strong resilience to harsh circumstances. Resiliency can be attributed to certain personality factors, such as an easy-going temperament. Some children are warm, friendly, and responsive, whereas others tend to be more irritable, less manageable, and difficult to console, and these differences play a role in attachment.

Attachment, like most other developmental processes, is affected by an interplay of genetic and socialization influences. Receiving support from others also leads to resiliency. A positive and strong support group can help a parent and child build a strong foundation by helping and positive attitudes toward the newborn and parent. In a direct test of this idea, Dutch researcher van den Boom.

Sources

• Cherry, Kendra. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt in Psychosocial Stage 2. How early experiences build (or undermine) self-reliance. VeryWellMind. February 2025.
• Cherry, Kendra. Trust vs. Mistrust: Psychosocial Stage 1: The Most Crucial Stage of Childhood. VeryWellMind. July 2024.
• Lally, Martha and Suzanne Valentine-French. Lifespan Development: A Psychological Perspective. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 3.0.
• Palm, Meredith. Lifespan Human Development: A Topical Approach. Licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. 2023
• The Role of Consistency and Predictability in Building Attachment Relationships in Children’s Homes. Proactive Approaches Group Limited. London. 2023