12.2: Recognizing Toxic Dynamics in Leadership

Educators, particularly those in caregiving professions like early childhood education, are often characterized by high levels of empathy, nurturance, and relational sensitivity (O’Connor, 2008; Noddings, 2013). Teachers are personally and emotionally invested in their work because so much of it involves caring for and about others (O’Connor, 2008). These beautiful, caring qualities, while essential to the field, can also leave professionals more vulnerable to manipulation or exploitation. Sandra Brown (2014) notes in her research on relational harm, how individuals with specific traits, such as high empathy, compassion, a cooperative and tolerant nature, strong trust in others, resourcefulness, and goal orientation, are particularly vulnerable to psychopathic or narcissistic relationships. Dr. Kerry McAvoy (2023) adds that highly agreeable and conscientious individuals are often the most exploited because of these very strengths.

Recognizing toxic leadership patterns is essential for protecting one’s professional well-being.Recognizing these dynamics is not about judgment, but about safeguarding personal well-being. Toxic individuals often use others’ moral behavior against them, exploiting their values and empathy for personal gain (McAvoy, 2025, personal correspondence). Understanding how systemic dysfunction and psychological patterns can play out in leadership allows educators establish boundaries, seek support, and advocate for healthier environments.

Impostor Phenomenon (Impostor “Syndrome”)

Psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes first described the Impostor Phenomenon, also known as “Impostor Syndrome,” as persistent feelings of self-doubt and fraudulence despite clear evidence of competence and success (Clance & Imes, 1978). This phenomenon isparticularly prevalent among high-achieving individuals in helping professions, especially women. Individuals experiencing impostor feelings often doubt their abilities, attribute accomplishments to luck, and fear being “found out.” Despite their accomplishments, they may feel that they have somehow deceived others into thinking they are more successful than they truly are. Even with evidence of their competence, they still believe that do not deserve their success. These perceptions are often shaped by early family experiences and societal expectations, but therapeutic techniques can be effective in helping individuals change these negatively held beliefs about themselves (Clance & Imes, 1978).

Leaders struggling with impostor thoughts may:

• Overwork to prove their worth

• Avoid delegating responsibilities

• Resist accepting credit

• Micromanage tasks

• React defensively to feedback

While not malicious, these behaviors can damage staff morale and contribute to workplace anxiety. Educators with strong empathetic tendencies often assume the best in others. Recognizing that even well-intentioned leaders may struggle with impostor thoughts helps us setappropriate boundaries, respond compassionately, and reflect on our own development. This approach reduces shame and empowers ECE leaders to normalize vulnerability, seek mentorship, and build authentic confidence.

The Peter Principle

The Peter Principle, introduced by Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull (1969), suggests that individuals are often promoted based on their performance in their current role rather than on qualifications or suitability for the next. As a result, people may advance to a position for which they are unprepared - reaching their “level of incompetence.”

For example, a skilled preschool teacher may be promoted to a director role based on classroom performance. However, administrative leadership demands different competencies, such as budgeting, conflict resolution, and supervision, skills that may not come naturally. Without adequate training or support, these transitions can lead to ineffective management, staff dissatisfaction, and burnout. This outcome is not necessarily a moral failing; ethical leadership requires acknowledging skill gaps, seeking professional development, avoiding defensiveness when challenges arise, and demonstrating humility in areas needing growth. The Peter Principle asserts that leadership is a dynamic process that requires ongoing learning and adaptation, emphasizes the importance of aligning one's role with individual strengths, and fostering ongoing professional development.

Cluster B Personality Disorders

The DSM-5 (American Psychiatric Association, 2013) identifies Cluster B personality disorders as patterns of emotional dysregulation and interpersonal disruption. These include:

• Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD): Disregard for others’ rights, manipulative behavior, deceit, and lack of remorse (includes psychopathy and sociopathy)

• Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Emotional volatility, instability, fear of abandonment, and impulsivity

• Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD): Excessive emotionality, attention-seeking

• Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Grandiosity, entitlement, lack of empathy, and a need for admiration (American Psychiatric Association, 2013)

Bunny trail Footnote 7: It is important to note that only a mental health professional can diagnose. While diagnosis is the role of mental health professionals, recognizing patterns of toxic behavior that create fear, confusion, or harm is valid, and essential for protecting workplace well-being.

While only licensed clinicians can diagnose these conditions, harm can be real even when diagnosis is not possible or appropriate. However, educators may observe behaviors that reflect similar toxic traits in leadership, such as:

Typical Toxic Patterns

• Manipulating staff for personal gain

• Shifting blame and avoiding responsibility

• Exploiting employees’ loyalty, empathy, and compassion

• Exhibiting emotional outbursts, over-reactions, or mood swings

• Undermining others to elevate or promote themselves

• Creating divisive or chaotic team environments

• Denying other’s perception of reality (gaslighting)

Toxic patterns can have serious emotional and professional consequences. Recognizing these patterns empowers educators to protect their well-being through boundary setting, documenting concerns, and seeking external support (McAvoy, 2025, personal correspondence).

Understanding Narcissism in Educational Settings

Dr. Ramani Durvasula (2024) describes narcissistic leaders as often entitled, grandiose, controlling, lacking empathy, and needing admiration and validation. They tend to exploit highly empathetic individuals (people-pleasers, empaths, and fixers). At its core, narcissism is just a defense mechanism, used to manipulate people, advocate for their needs, and protect their fragile, underdeveloped sense of self (Grandstaff, 2024).

Empathic people are often targeted by narcissists because of their tendency toward tolerance, forgiveness, cooperation, collaboration, and the willingness to give second chances. For empathetic personalities, awareness of these traits is crucial for recognizing red flags, establishing firm boundaries, and practicing self-care strategies, as discussed in Chapter 11.

Educators who understand narcissistic traits and abusive dynamics are better equipped to:

• Navigate toxic leadership without internalizing blame

• Support themselves and their colleagues in challenging work dynamics

• Foster emotionally safe and transparent workplace environments

One key distinction of narcissistic personalities is a lack of empathy. The following section examines why empathy is essential for healthy, ethical leadership.