1.3: Three Key Strengths and Pursuing Positive Emotion

Forgiveness, gratitude, and humility are three key strengths that have been the focus of sustained research programs within positive psychology. What have we learned about each of these and why do these matter for human flourishing?

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is essential to harmonious long-term relationships between individuals, whether between spouses or nations, dyads or collectives. At the level of the individual, forgiveness of self can help one achieve an inner peace as well as peace with others and with God. Wrongdoing against others can result in guilt, and self-loathing. Resentment can give away to hate and intolerance. Both perpetrator and victim suffer. Conversely, forgiveness can be an avenue to healing.

It is the basic building block of loving relationships with others. When one person or nation does something to hurt another, the relationship between the two can be irrevocably damaged. Because the potential for conflict is seemingly built into human nature, the prospects for long-term peace may seem faint. Forgiveness offers another way. If the victim can forgive the perpetrator, the relationship may be restored and possibly even saved from termination. The essence of forgiveness is that it creates a possibility for a relationship to recover from the damage caused by the offending party’s offense. Forgiveness is thus a powerful pro-social process. It can benefit human social life by helping relationships to heal. , on the social level, forgiveness may be the critical element needed for world peace. Culligan (2002)¹⁸ wrote "Forgiveness may ultimately be the most powerful weapon for breaking the dreadful cycle of violence."

 

Research is answering fundamental questions about what forgiveness is and isn’t, how it develops, what are its physiological correlates and physical effects, whether it is always beneficial, and how people—if they are so motivated—might be helped to forgive. Forgiveness is not excusing, condoning, tolerating, or forgetting that one has been hurt because of the actions of another. Forgiveness is letting go of negative thoughts (e.g. wishing the offender harm), negative behaviors (e.g. a desire to retaliate, and negative feelings (e.g. resentment) toward the offender (McCullough, Root, & Cohen, 2006)¹⁹ .

 

There have been numerous studies looking at forgiveness interventions. The interventions involved counseling and exercises which were used to help people move from anger and resentment towards forgiveness. In one study, incest survivors who experienced the forgiveness intervention had at the end of the intervention increased abilities to forgive others, increased hopefulness and decreased levels of anxiety and depression. In another study, college students were randomized to a group that received a forgiveness education program and another group who studied human relations. The group that received the forgiveness education program showed higher levels of hope and an increased willingness to forgive others. This greater self-forgiveness was associated with increased self-esteem, lower levels of anxiety, lower levels of depression and a more positive view of their patient.

In many of these studies, it was shown that people who are able to forgive are more likely to have better interpersonal functioning and therefore social support. The act of forgiveness can result in less anxiety and depression, better health outcomes, increased coping with stress, and increased closeness to God and others (Enright, 2001)²⁰. (Emmons, 2024)³⁰.

 

Gratitude

Gratitude is a feeling of appreciation or thankfulness in response to receiving a benefit. The emerging science of gratitude has produced some important findings. From childhood to old age, accumulating evidence documents the wide array of psychological, physical, and relational benefits associated with gratitude (Wood, Froh, & Geraghty, 2010)²¹. Gratitude is important not only because it helps us feel good, but also because it inspires us to do good. Gratitude heals, energizes, and transforms lives in a myriad of ways consistent with the notion that virtue is both its own reward and produces other rewards (Emmons, 2007)²².

 

To give a flavor of these research findings, dispositional gratitude has been found to be positively associated qualities such as empathy, forgiveness, and the willingness to help others. For example, people who rated themselves as having a grateful disposition perceived themselves as having more socially helpful characteristics, expressed by their empathetic behavior, and emotional support for friends within the last month (McCullough, Emmons, & Tsang, 2002)²³. In our research, when people report feeling grateful, thankful, and appreciative in their daily lives, they also feel more loving, forgiving, joyful, and enthusiastic. Notably, the family, friends, partners and others who surround them consistently report that people who practice gratitude are viewed as more helpful, more outgoing, more optimistic, and more trustworthy (Emmons & McCullough, 2003)²⁴.

 

Expressing gratitude for life’s blessings – that is, a sense of wonder, thankfulness and appreciation– is likely to elevate happiness for a number of reasons. Grateful thinking fosters the savoring of positive life experiences and situations, so that people can extract the maximum possible satisfaction and enjoyment from their circumstances. Counting one’s blessings may directly counteract the effects of hedonic adaptation, the process by which our happiness level returns, again and again, to its set range, by preventing people from taking the good things in their lives for granted. If we consciously remind ourselves of our blessings, it should become harder to take them for granted and adapt to them. And the very act of viewing good things as gifts itself is likely to be beneficial for mood.

How much does it matter? Consider these eye-popping statistics. People are 25% happier if they keep gratitude journals, sleep 1/2 hour more per evening, and exercise 33% more each week compared to persons who are not keeping journals. They achieve up to a 10% reduction in systolic blood pressure, and decrease their dietary fat intake by up to 20%. Lives marked by frequent positive emotions of joy, love and gratitude are up to 7 years longer than lives bereft of these pleasant feelings.

 

The science of gratitude has also revealed some surprising findings. For example, students who practice gratitude increase their grade point average. Occasional gratitude journaling boosts well-being more than the regular practice of counting blessings. Remembering one’s sorrows, failures, and other painful experiences is more beneficial to happiness than recalling only successes. Becoming aware that a very pleasant experience is about to end enhances feelings of gratitude for it. Thinking about the absence of something positive in your life produces more gratitude and happiness than imagining its presence. (Emmons, 2024)³¹.

 

Humility

One aspect of humility is an awareness of the relatively little that one can really know about the world.

 

What is humility and why does it matter? Although the etymological roots of humility are in lowliness and self-abasement (from the Latin term humilis meaning “lowly, humble,” or literally “on the ground” and from the Latin term humus meaning "earth"), the emerging consensus among scholars is that humility is a psychological and intellectual virtue, or a character strength.

There is no simple definition but it seems to involve the following elements: A clear and accurate (not underestimated) sense of one’s abilities and achievements; the ability to acknowledge one’s mistakes, imperfections, gaps in knowledge, and limitations (often with reference to a “higher power”); an openness to new ideas, contradictory information, and advice keeping one’s abilities and accomplishments in perspective; relatively low self-focus or an ability to “forget the self”; appreciation of the value of all things, as well as the many different ways that people and things can contribute to our world.

In contemporary society, it is easy to overlook the merits of humility. In politics, business and sports, the egoists command our attention. In contrast, the primary message of this book is that the unassuming virtue of humility, rather than representing weakness or inferiority, as is commonly assumed, is a strength of character that produces positive, beneficial results for self and society. Successful people are humble people. They are more likely to flourish in life, in more domains, than are people who are less humble (Exline & Hill, 2012)²⁵.

 

Do you think you are you a humble person? For obvious reasons, you cannot rate your own level of humility. It’s an elusive concept to get at scientifically. “I am very humble” is self-contradictory. This has not discouraged personality psychologists from developing questionnaires to get at it, albeit indirectly. For example, to what extent do you identify with each of the following statements:

1. I generally have a good idea about the things I do well or do poorly.
2. I have difficulty accepting advice from other people.
3. I try my best in things, but I realize that I have a lot of work to do in many areas.
4. I am keenly aware of what little I know about the world.

Questions such as these tap various facets of the humble personality, including an appreciation and recognition of one’s limitations, and an accurate assessment of oneself.

 

Humble people are more likely to flourish in life, in more domains, than are people who are less humble. Consider a handful of findings from recent research studies and surveys:

• People who say they feel humble when they are praised report that the experience made them want to be nice to people, increase their efforts, and challenge themselves
• Humble people are more admired and the trait of humility is viewed positively by most
• Humble teachers are rated as more effective and humble lawyers as more likeable by jurors
• CEO’s who possessed a rare combination of extreme humility and strong professional will were catalysts for transforming a good company into a great one
• Over 80% of adults surveyed indicated that it is important that professionals demonstrate modesty/humility in their work
• Humility is positively associated with academic success in the form of higher grades (Exline & Hill, 2012)²⁶. (Emmons, 2024)³²

 

Pursuing Positive Emotions

In this section, we explored several strengths that can be utilized to cultivate positive emotions. However, it's worth noting, as highlighted in the The Paradoxical Effects of Pursuing Positive Emotion, When and Why Wanting to Feel Happy Backfires²⁷ by Ford & Mauss (2013), that there may exist some paradoxical consequences associated with the pursuit of positive emotions. 

 

Guided Questions

1. Why does chasing happiness sometimes have a paradoxical outcome?
2. What are some things you can do to prevent pursuing happiness from resulting in harm?
3. What are some activities tied to reduced happiness?

 

Definitions 

 

Forgiveness

creates a possibility for a relationship to recover from the damage caused by the offending party’s offense

Gratitude 

feeling of appreciation or thankfulness in response to receiving a benefit

Humility

A clear and accurate sense of one’s abilities and achievements; the ability to acknowledge one’s mistakes, imperfections, gaps in knowledge, and limitations (often with reference to a “higher power”); an openness to new ideas, contradictory information, and advice keeping one’s abilities and accomplishments in perspective; relatively low self-focus or an ability to “forget the self”; appreciation of the value of all things, as well as the many different ways that people and things can contribute to our world

 

Attribution

¹⁸Culligan, K. (2002). Prayer and forgiveness: Can psychology help? Spiritual life, 48(2), 78. 

¹⁹McCullough, M. E., Root, L. M., & Cohen A. D. (2006). Writing about the benefits of an interpersonal transgression facilitates forgiveness. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74, 887–897. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.74.5.887 

²⁰Enright, R. D. (2001). Forgiveness is a choice : A step-by-step process for resolving anger and restoring hope.  American Psychological Association.

²¹Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. (2010). Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration. Clinical Psychology Review, 30, 890–905. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005 

²²Emmons, R. A. (2007). Thanks! How the new science of gratitude can make you happier. Boston. MA: Houghton-Mifflin.

²³McCullough, M. E., Emmons, R. A., & Tsang, J. (2002). The grateful disposition: A conceptual and empirical topography. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(1), 112–127. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.82.1.112 

²⁴Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 377–389. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377 

²⁵,²⁶Exline, J. J., & Hill, P. C. (2012). Humility: A consistent and robust predictor of generosity. Journal of Positive Psychology, 7, 208–218. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2012.671348 

²⁷Ford, B. Q., & Mauss, I. B. (2014). The Paradoxical Effects of Pursuing Positive Emotion. In J. Gruber & J. T. Moskowitz (Eds.), Positive Emotion (pp. 363–381). Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780199926725.003.0020 

²⁸,³⁰Spielman, R. M., Jenkins, W. J., & Lovett, M. D. (2020). The Pursuit of Happiness. In Psychology 2e. OpenStax. Houston, Texas. https://openstax.org/books/psychology-2e/pages/14-5-the-pursuit-of-happiness CC-BY

²⁹,³⁰,³¹,³²Emmons, R. A. (2024). Positive psychology. In R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener (Eds), Noba textbook series: Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. Retrieved from http://noba.to/9z4jf5xe  CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0