4.3: Coping with Challenging Emotions

Ways to Find Support

Throughout this chapter we have explored the variety of ways our emotions can manifest themselves. We have also discussed ways to understand where our emotions stem from both internally as well as within our social environments. One thing has been made clear throughout each section of this chapter: emotions are challenging at times, and being able to control our emotions is an essential part of our interpersonal relationships. When we are in tune with ourselves and have emotional awareness it can help us in many aspects of life including decision-making, conflict management, relational satisfaction, and self-esteem.

There are some emotions that are more difficult than others to manage and can not only impact our short-term emotional state but can also physically alter our personality and our sense of self. Emotions such as grief, trauma, depression, anxiety, stress, and anger are emotional experiences that can often feel invisible but are valid. During these challenging emotions, it can feel extremely difficult to express what the emotions feel like, not only to others but even ourselves. It can feel impossible to reach out for support or know where we can turn to to find empathy, but it is an extremely important step in being able to cope with these emotions.

Among our basic needs as human beings are social needs: we need to be able to find others who are like us and that we can express ourselves to. During times where we feel threatened by our emotions, finding support and being able to talk through our emotions is a vital step in creating a positive outlook. This step has the ability to create a positive change in mood and allows us to continue to function in our daily life. Finding support comes in many forms, and the kind of support we need in one instance will change to the next. Having the ability to pull from our support resources will allow us to find what we need in order to confront these feelings. It is important to remember that we are not a burden to other people, that we are not weak, and that every single person needs to be supported by others throughout our lives. We will be able to be that support for someone else when they need it one day, and provide empathy for their situation.

Some ways in which we may find support in order to help cope with challenging emotions include:

• Find someone we feel safe with. Find friends, family, or loved ones who can be there to listen to us. While it can feel really difficult to reach out, remember that the loved ones we choose to reach out to are honored to be able to help us in such important ways.
• Take care of a pet. Being able to care for an animal and feel love from an animal has significant benefits for our mood regulation both mentally and physically.
• Showcase support. Sometimes being able to be of help to others allows us to feel supported ourselves. Volunteering or providing service can help to strengthen our goals and regulate our mental outlook.
• Join a support group. Talking with and listening to other individuals who are going through similar emotions as us is a really humbling way to make sure we know we aren’t alone.
• Seek medical help. Therapy and counseling can be beneficial for many people in order to not only talk out their thoughts and emotions, but to gain feedback and support in a constructive manner. While many counselors do cost money, there are free and affordable options through colleges and universities, as well as city programs that we can use in order to get the appropriate care we deserve.

Figure \(\PageIndex{1}\): Seeking support from trusted individuals or mental health professionals can be an important strategy for coping with challenging emotions (Two girls sitting on a bed, Dominique Davis via Disabled and Here).

The Impact of Emotions

In this chapter we discussed how to identify psychological, cultural, cognitive, and expressive dimensions of emotions and their impact on ourselves and our relationships. We covered personality, cognitive, social, and relational influences on emotional expression and how they impact our perceptions. After reading this chapter you should be able to apply the concepts discussed in order to understand, express, and respond to emotions. 

Reflect

• Do you think that the language used around emotions impacts how that emotion is experienced? For example, using the word “furious” as opposed to “angry”, or “confident” instead of “successful” can impact the physiological or psychological impact of that emotion? Why or why not?
• Is there a time you have used masking (intentional or unintentional) that helped or hindered your communication?
• We know that emotions are not inherently negative as we experience them at all times, but the perception is that we should avoid being “emotional.” Is there a time in your life when you experienced a reaction to being “emotional?” Is there a way for us to change this perception?
• How do you think social media impacts your emotions? Do you think that you experience emotional contagion from the types of social media you consume?