8.2: Strategy #1 - Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence and Awareness

Emotional intelligence plays a large role in relationships, and understanding the dimensions of emotional intelligence helps us to achieve our goals. Increasing your skills in the area of emotional intelligence is never wasted since it will help you to to understand, express, and respond to emotions, as well as implement strategies to manage your emotions and thereby foster positive relationships.

Emotional Intelligence

Many of us are familiar with the term IQ ("intelligence quota") that research has historically used to study the standards of human intelligence. In parallel to our IQ, researchers also study our emotional intelligence, or EI, which measures our ability to process emotions and emotional information (Alegre, et al., 2019). EI is a social intelligence that helps us manage our emotions within our social interactions. It helps us dictate aspects of our expression of emotions, as well as works to help regulate our emotions. Having a high emotional intelligence means that you are not only able to showcase self-awareness of your own emotions to control and balance them, but also able to monitor and accurately understand the emotions within others (Connor et. al, 2019). Psychologist Daniel Goleman conducted extensive research into categorizing what are now known as the five key elements of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, empathy, and social skill (Issah, 2018). Table \(\PageIndex{1}\) describes each key element of emotional intelligence as well as highlights specific communicative elements that emotional intelligence is enacted through.

Table \(\PageIndex{1}\): Varying Intensities of Central Emotion

Component	Description
Self-awareness	The conscious understanding of our character, feeling, emotions, desires, personality, and individuality. Includes elements of humility, self-confidence, and our impact on others.
Self-regulation	The ability to respond to emotional stimuli in ways that promote facilitative control over feelings, thoughts, and physiological responses. Includes elements of emotional flexibility, comfort with ambiguity, and openness to change.
Self-motivation	The drive to set attainable goals using personal desire as opposed to external influence. Includes elements of organization, commitment, and optimism.
Empathy	Listening for understanding of the other person’s feelings and/or emotion with the goal of validating. Empathic listening is higher-level listening and therefore requires more energy. Includes elements of intercultural communication competence, and nonverbal awareness.
Social skill	The ability to build and maintain relationships. Effectively interacting with others, managing social norms, and rules within communication. Includes elements of verbal and nonverbal communication norms, intercultural communication competence, and active listening.

Source: This work is a derivative of Change Leadership: The Role of Emotional Intelligence by Mohammad Issah, under a CC BY. Figure 7.4.8 by Elizabeth Encarnacion is licensed CC BY 4.0

Emotional Awareness

Although relationships affect our emotions, relationships themselves don’t experience the emotions, we do—as the interpersonal members of the relationship. Within the study of EI, researchers have expanded their understanding into more precise applications. One area that has been expanded upon from original research in EI is the concept of emotional awareness. Emotional awareness is the conscious understanding and recognition of one's own and others' emotions (Agnoli et al., 2019; Alegre, et al., 2019). This is an important aspect of emotional intelligence. In order to act, or communicate effectively within a given range of emotional interactions, we must first be acutely aware of what emotions are present to begin with.

Emotional awareness is often experienced at its height during adolescence, when we are experiencing puberty and our understanding of ourselves in relation to other people. During this time period in our age and development, as many of us probably remember all too well, it can also be difficult to regulate emotions (Agnoli et al., 2019). Because of the changes that are occurring in our physiological and emotional selves, this time period of learning and growing is usually met with lots of bumps and bruises (both physically and metaphorically). This rocky road into adulthood is beneficial for our emotional intelligence and emotional awareness, and it is crucial in our development of self-concept and self-esteem, which help to mold our emotional intelligence and awareness as well (Agnoli et al., 2019).

Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Developing emotional intelligence (EI) is a multifaceted process that involves cultivating self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Here are key university-level steps to guide this development:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness: Begin by regularly reflecting on your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Journaling, mindfulness practices, or guided introspection can help you identify emotional patterns and triggers. Understanding how your emotions influence your decisions and interactions is foundational to emotional intelligence.

2. Practice Self-Regulation: Learn to manage your emotional responses, especially in high-stress or conflict situations. Techniques such as deep breathing, cognitive reframing, and pausing before reacting can help you respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively. This fosters emotional stability and resilience.

3. Enhance Intrinsic Motivation: Develop a clear sense of purpose and align your goals with your values. Emotionally intelligent individuals are often driven by internal rewards such as personal growth or meaningful contribution, rather than external validation. This intrinsic motivation supports perseverance and adaptability.

4. Develop Empathy: Actively work to understand others’ perspectives and emotions. This involves attentive listening, asking open-ended questions, and being sensitive to non-verbal cues. Empathy not only strengthens interpersonal relationships but also enhances cultural competence and ethical decision-making.

5. Strengthen Social Skills: Build effective communication, conflict resolution, and collaboration abilities. Engage in group projects, leadership roles, or community service to practice navigating diverse social dynamics. Constructive feedback and active engagement in social learning environments can accelerate this growth.