So what is your love style? Your authors discussed several types of love in the text, including John Lee’s six love types. The Love Attitude Scale, created by Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick, measures your attitudes about each of the styles.
For each of the following statements, write the number (1-5) that most nearly describes your attitude or belief. Some of the items refer to a specific love relationship, while others refer to general attitudes and beliefs about love. Whenever possible, answer the questions with your current partner in mind. If you are not currently dating anyone, answer the questions with your most recent partner in mind. If you have never been in love, answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be.
For even more insight, make a copy of the questions and have your current partner complete them also. Answer the questions independently of each other and then compare your scores.
After looking at your style, type a paragraph in which you answer the following questions:
Does these scores surprise you? Why or why not?
What would you consider the advantages and disadvantages of these styles to be?
What styles do you think would be most common in adolescence? Early adulthood? Adulthood? Why?
The code for the rating to be used for each statement is as follows:
|SD = STRONGLY disagree||D = Disagree||N = Neutral||A = Agree||SA = STRONGLY agree|
- My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately after we first met
- I try to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him/her.
- It is hard to say exactly where friendship ends and love begins.
- I consider what a person is going to become in life before I commit myself to him/her.
- When things aren’t right with my lover and me, my stomach gets upset.
- I try to always help my lover through difficult times.
- My lover and I have the right physical “chemistry” between us.
- I believe that what my lover doesn’t know about me won’t hurt him/her.
- Genuine love first requires caring for a while.
- I try to plan my life carefully before choosing a lover.
- When my love affairs break up, I get so depressed.
- I would rather suffer myself than let my lover suffer.
- Our lovemaking is very intense and satisfying.
- I have sometimes had to keep two of my lovers from finding out about each other.
- I expect to always be friends with the one I love.
- It is best to love someone with a similar background.
- Sometimes I get so excited about being in love that I can’t sleep.
- I cannot be happy unless I place my lover’s happiness before my own.
- I feel that my lover and I were meant for each other.
- I can get over love affairs pretty easily and quickly.
- The best kind of love grows out of a long friendship.
- A main consideration in choosing a lover is how he/she reflects on my family.
- When my lover doesn’t pay attention to me, I feel sick all over.
- I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my lover achieve his/hers.
- My lover and I became emotionally involved rather quickly.
- My lover would get upset if he/she knew of some of the things I’ve done with other people.
- Our friendship merged gradually into love over time.
- An important factor in choosing a partner is whether or not he/she will be a good parent.
- When I am in love, I have trouble concentrating.
- Whatever I own is my lover’s to use as he/she chooses.
- My lover and I really understand each other.
- When my lover gets too dependent on me, I want to back off a little.
- Love is really a deep friendship, not a mysterious, mystical emotion.
- One consideration in choosing a partner is how he/she will reflect on my career.
- I cannot relax if I suspect that my lover is with someone else.
- When my lover gets angry with me, I still love Him/her fully and unconditionally.
- My lover fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness.
- I enjoy playing the “game of love” with a number is different partners.
- My most satisfying love relationships have developed from good friendships.
- Before getting very involved with anyone, I try to figure out how compatible his/her hereditary background is with mine in case we ever have children.
- If my lover ignores me for a while, I do stupid things to get his/her attention back.
- I would endure all things for the sake of my lover.
Source: Hendrick, C and Hendrick, S. (1986). “A theory and method of love.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, 2, 392-402. Reprinted with permission of the American Psychological Association.
Love Attitude Scale — Scoring Instructions
The higher the score, the stronger you are on this love style
Eros: Add up all the numbers you circled for items 1, 7, 13, 19, 25, 31, and 37.
Eros Score: _____
Ludus: Add up all the numbers you circled for items 2, 8, 14, 20, 26, 32, and 38.
Ludus Score: _____
Storge: Add up all the numbers you circled for items 3, 9, 15, 21, 27, 33, and 39.
Storge Score: _____
Pragma: Add up all the numbers you circled for items 4, 10, 16, 22, 28, 34, and 40.
Pragma Score: _____
Mania: Add up all the numbers you circled for items 5, 11, 17, 23, 29, 35, and 41.
Mania Score: _____
Agape: Add up all the numbers you circled for items 6, 12, 18, 24, 30, 36, and 42.
Agape Score: _____