12: Gender and Sexuality Part One

Sex and Gender

Sex refers to the anatomical and other biological differences between females and males that develop in the womb and throughout childhood and adolescence. These include both primary sex characteristics (the reproductive system) and secondary characteristics such as height and muscularity.

If sex is a biological concept, then gender is a social concept. It refers to the social and cultural differences a society assigns to people based on their (biological) sex. It refers to behaviors, personal traits, and social positions that society attributes to being female or male. These expectations are called femininity and masculinity. Femininity refers to the cultural expectations we have of girls and women, while masculinity refers to the expectations we have of boys and men.

A person’s sex, as determined by their biology, does not always correspond with their gender. Therefore, the terms sex and gender are not interchangeable. A baby who is born with male genitalia will most likely be identified as male. This person is someone who is “assigned male at birth” or AMAB. A child born with female genitalia is someone who is “assigned female at birth” or AFAB. As a child or adult, however, the AMAB person may identify with the feminine aspects of culture and the AFAB person with the masculine aspects of culture.

Since the term sex refers to biological or physical distinctions, characteristics of sex will not vary significantly between different human societies. For example, generally persons of the female sex, regardless of culture, will eventually menstruate and develop breasts that can lactate. Characteristics of gender, on the other hand, may vary greatly between different societies. For example, in U.S. culture, it is considered feminine (or a trait of the female gender) to wear a dress or skirt. However, in many Middle Eastern, Asian, and African cultures, sarongs, robes, or gowns are considered masculine. The kilt worn by a Scottish man does not make him appear feminine in that culture.

Gender identity is a person’s deeply held internal perception of their gender. Gender expression, or gender presentation, is a person’s behavior, mannerisms, interests, and appearance that are associated with gender, specifically with the categories of femininity or masculinity. The ways in which people express their gender identity are both particular to each individual and variable across cultures. The risks of nonconformity in gender presentation can be high. More than being perceived as “weird” or unpopular, a person may for example lose the support of friends and family or experience discrimination in the workplace based on their gender presentation.

The binary view of gender or the gender binary is the notion that someone is either male or female and no other genders exist. This view is specific to certain cultures and is not universal. In some cultures gender is viewed as fluid. In the past, some anthropologists used the term berdache to refer to individuals who occasionally or permanently dressed and lived as a different gender. The practice has been noted among certain Native American tribes (Jacobs, Thomas, and Lang 1997). Samoan culture accepts what Samoans refer to as a “third gender.” Fa’afafine, which translates as “the way of the woman,” is a term used to describe individuals who are born biologically male but embody both masculine and feminine traits. Fa’afafines are considered an important part of Samoan culture. Individuals from other cultures may mislabel their sexuality because fa’afafines have a varied sexual life that may include men and women (Poasa 1992). The Native Americans known as the Mohave, recognize four genders: a woman, a woman who acts like a man, a man, and a man who acts like a woman.

Transgender people's sex assigned at birth and their gender identity are not necessarily the same. A transgender woman is a person who was assigned male at birth but who identifies and/or lives as a woman; a transgender man was assigned female at birth but lives as a man. The term "transgender" does not indicate sexual orientation or a particular gender expression, and we should avoid making assumptions about people's sexual orientation based on knowledge about their gender identity (GLAAD 2021). (In other words, a transgender woman may not conform or even try to conform with all the traits we associate with “women” and a transgender person can have any of the same sexual orientations as a non-transgender person – straight, lesbian, gay, etc.)

Some transgender individuals may undertake a process of transition, in which they move from living in a way that is more aligned with the sex assigned at birth to living in a way that is aligned with their gender identity. Transitioning may take the form of social, legal or medical aspects of someone's life, but not everyone undertakes any or all types of transition. Social transition may involve the person's presentation, name, pronouns, and relationships. Legal transition can include changing their gender on government or other official documents, changing their legal name, and so on. Some people may undergo a physical or medical transition, in which they change their outward, physical, or sexual characteristics in order for their physical being to better align with their gender identity (UCSF Transgender Care 2019).

Not all transgender individuals choose to alter their bodies: many will maintain their original anatomy but may present themselves to society as another gender. This is typically done by adopting the dress, hairstyle, mannerisms, or other characteristic typically assigned to another gender. It is important to note that people who cross-dress, or wear clothing that is traditionally assigned to a gender different from their biological sex, are not necessarily transgender. Cross-dressing is typically a form of self-expression or personal style, and it does not indicate a person's gender identity or that they are transgender (TSER 2021).

There is no single, conclusive explanation for why people are transgender. The diversity of transgender expression and experiences argues against any simple or unitary explanation. Many experts believe that biological factors such as genetic influences and prenatal hormone levels, early experiences, and experiences later in adolescence or adulthood may all contribute to the development of transgender identities (APA 2023).

Those who identify with the sex they were assigned at birth are often referred to as cisgender, utilizing the Latin prefix "cis," which means "on the same side." (The prefix "trans" means "across.") Because they are in the majority and do not have a potential component to transition, many cisgender people do not self-identify as such. As with transgender people, the term or usage of cisgender does not indicate a person's sexual orientation, gender, or gender expression (TSER 2021). Many societies are cisnormative, which is the assumption or expectation that everyone is cisgender, and that anything other than cisgender is not normal.

When individuals do not feel comfortable identifying with the gender associated with their biological sex, then they may experience gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is a diagnostic category in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) that describes a deep sense of unease, anxiety, or discomfort that may occur in people whose gender does not align with their sex assigned at birth. This dysphoria must persist for at least six months and result in significant distress or dysfunction to meet DSM-5 diagnostic criteria. In order for people to be assigned this diagnostic category, they must verbalize their desire to become the other gender.

It is important to note that not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria, and that its diagnostic categorization is not universally accepted. Some contend that the diagnosis inappropriately pathologizes gender noncongruence (i.e., when a person’s gender is different to the sex they were assigned at birth) and should be eliminated. In 2019, the World Health Organization reclassified “gender identity disorder” as “gender incongruence,” and categorized it under sexual health rather than a mental disorder in order to reduce the potential for negative stigma. However, some health and mental health professionals indicate that the presence of the diagnostic category helps ensure access to care and assists in supporting those who need treatment or help.

People become aware that they may be transgender at different ages. Even if someone does not have a full (or even partial) understanding of gender terminology and its implications, they can still develop an awareness that their gender assigned at birth does not align with their gender identity. Society, particularly in the United States, has been reluctant to accept transgender identities at any age, but we have particular difficulty accepting those identities in children. Many people feel that children are too young to understand their feelings, and that they may "grow out of it." And it is true that some children who verbalize their identification or desire to live as another gender may ultimately decide to live in alignment with their assigned gender. But if a child consistently describes themself as a gender (or as both genders, without binary gender, or another expression of their gender) and/or expresses themself as that gender over a long period of time, their feelings cannot be attributed to going through a "phase" (Mayo Clinic 2021).

Some children, like many transgender people, may feel pressure to conform to social norms, which may lead them to suppress or hide their identity. Experts find evidence of gender dysphoria in children as young as seven (Zaliznyak 2020). Again, most children have a limited understanding of the social and societal impacts of being transgender, but they can feel strongly that they are not aligned with their assigned sex. And considering that many transgender people do not come out or begin to transition until much later in life—well into their twenties—they may live for a long time under that distress.

Intersex is a general term used to describe people whose sex traits, reproductive anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes are different from the usual two ways human bodies develop. Some intersex traits are recognized at birth, while others are not recognizable until puberty or later in life (interACT 2021). While some intersex people have physically recognizable features that are described by specific medical terms, intersex people and newborns are healthy. Most in the medical and intersex community reject unnecessary surgeries intended to make a baby conform to a specific gender assignment; medical ethicists indicate that any surgery to alter intersex characteristics or traits—if desired—should be delayed until an individual can decide for themselves (Behrens 2021). If a physical trait or medical condition prohibits a baby from urinating or performing another bodily function (which is very rare), then a medical procedure such as surgery will be needed; in other cases, hormonal issues related to intersex characteristics may require medical intervention.

Intersex and transgender are not interchangeable terms; many transgender people have no intersex traits, and many intersex people do not consider themselves transgender. Some intersex people believe that intersex people should be included within the LGBTQ community, while others do not (Koyama n.d.).

Queer is a term used to describe gender and sexual identities other than cisgender and heterosexual. The term queer has been used in different ways and has many different meanings. Originally a term meaning “strange” or “peculiar,” queer came to be used in a derogatory way toward those with same-sex desires or relations in the nineteenth century. Starting in the late 1980s, queer activists began to reclaim the word and embraced it as a politically radical alternative to other LGBTQIA+ identities (Sycamore 2008). The Universalist Unitarian Association does a good job of capturing some of the common ways queer is used today, so explore Queer 101 https://www.uua.org/lgbtq/identity/queer if you wish.

The language of sexuality, sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression is continually changing and evolving. In order to get an overview of some of the most commonly used terms, explore the Trans Student Educational Resources Online Glossary: http://openstax.org/r/tsero

Sexuality and Sexual Orientation

A person's sexuality is their capacity to experience sexual feelings and attraction. Each society interprets sexuality and sexual activity in different ways, with different attitudes about premarital sex, the age of sexual consent, homosexuality, masturbation, and other sexual behaviors (Widmer 1998).

A person’s sexual orientation is their physical, mental, emotional, and sexual attraction to a particular sex (male and/or female). Sexual orientation is typically divided into several categories: heterosexuality, the attraction to individuals of the other sex; homosexuality, the attraction to individuals of the same sex; bisexuality, the attraction to individuals of either sex; asexuality, a lack of sexual attraction or desire for sexual contact; pansexuality, an attraction to people regardless of sex, gender, gender identity, or gender expression; omnisexuality, an attraction to people of all sexes, genders, gender identities, and gender expressions that considers the person's gender, and queer, an umbrella term used to describe sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

Other categories may not refer to a sexual attraction, but rather a romantic one. For example, an aromantic person does not experience romantic attraction; this is different from asexuality, which refers to a lack of sexual attraction. And some sexual orientations do not refer to gender in their description, though those who identify as having that orientation may feel attraction to a certain gender. For example, demisexual refers to someone who feels a sexual attraction to someone only after they form an emotional bond; the term itself doesn't distinguish among gender identities, but the person may feel attraction based on gender (PFLAG 2021). It is important to acknowledge and understand that many of these orientations exist on a spectrum, and there may be no specific term to describe how an individual feels. Some terms have been developed to address this—such as graysexual or grayromantic—but their usage is a personal choice (Asexual Visibility and Education Network 2021).

People who are attracted to others of a different gender are typically referred to as "straight," and people attracted to others of the same gender are typically referred to as "gay" for men and "lesbian" for women. As discussed, above, however, there are many more sexual and romantic orientations, so the term "gay," for example, should not be used to describe all of them. Proper terminology includes the acronyms LGBT and LGBTQ, which stands for “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender” (and “Queer” or “Questioning” when the Q is added). In other cases, people and organizations may add "I" to represent Intersex people and "A" for Asexual or Aromantic people (or sometimes for "Allies"), as well as one "P" to describe Pansexual people (who can be attracted to people of any gender, or regardless of gender). Finally, some people and organizations add a plus sign (+) to represent other possible identities or orientations (“LGBTQ+”).

Sexuality and gender terminology are constantly changing, and may mean different things to different people; they are not universal, and each individual defines them for themselves (UC Davis LGBTQIA Resource Center 2020). A person who does not fully understand all of these terms (and they can be confusing) can still be supportive of people who have those orientations or others; in fact, advocacy and support organizations indicate it is much better to admit you don't know something than to make assumptions or apply an incorrect label to someone (GLAAD 2021).

While the descriptions above are evidence of a vast degree of diversity, the United States and many other countries remain heteronormative societies, meaning that heterosexuality is the preferred or “normal” mode of sexual orientation (Harris and White 2018). While awareness and acceptance of different sexual orientations and identities seems to be increasing, the influence of a heteronormative society can lead LGBTQ people to be treated like "others," even by people who do not deliberately seek to cause them harm. This can lead to significant distress (Boyer 2020). These heteronormative behaviors and expectations can be especially harmful for children and young adults (Tompkins 2017).

An examination of popular culture highlights the prevalence of compulsive heterosexuality. For example, what types of relationships are commonly displayed in movies and television shows? While more diverse representations are making their way into mainstream media, most visual and textual representations of relationships center on heterosexuality, leading to the continuing dominance of heteronormativity. For example, take a moment to review the heterosexual questionnaire https://www.uwgb.edu/UWGBCMS/media/pride-center/files/pdf/Heterosexual_Questionnaire.pdf and think about how the questions sound. The dominance of heteronormativity and compulsory heterosexuality in mainstream culture makes it difficult for those who do not fit into these expected categories.

There is not a wealth of research describing exactly when people become aware of their sexual orientation. According to current scientific understanding, individuals are usually aware of their sexual orientation between middle childhood and early adolescence (American Psychological Association 2008). They do not have to participate in sexual activity to be aware of these emotional, romantic, and physical attractions; people can be celibate and still recognize their sexual orientation, and may have very different experiences of discovering and accepting their sexual orientation. Some studies have shown that a percentage of people may start to have feelings related to attraction or orientation at ages nine or ten, even if these feelings are not sexual (Calzo 2018). At the point of puberty, some may be able to announce their sexual orientation, while others may be unready or unwilling to make their sexual orientation or identity known since it goes against society’s historical norms (APA 2008). And finally, some people recognize their true sexual orientation later in life—in their 30s, 40s, and beyond.

There is no scientific consensus regarding the exact reasons why an individual holds a specific sexual orientation. Research has been conducted to study the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, but there has been no evidence that links sexual orientation to one factor (APA 2008). According to the APA, “There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation”

Although the exact origins of sexual orientation remain unknown, the APA’s last statement is perhaps the most important conclusion from research on this issue: Most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation. Because, as mentioned earlier, people are more likely to approve of or tolerate homosexuality when they believe it is not a choice, efforts to educate the public about this research conclusion – that it is not in fact a choice - should help the public become more accepting of LGBT behavior and individuals.

Because of the deeply personal nature of sexual orientation, as well as the societal biases against certain orientations, many people may question their sexual orientation before fully accepting it themselves. In a similar way, parents may question their children's sexual orientation based on certain behaviors. Simply viewing the many web pages and discussion forums dedicated to people expressing their questions makes it very clear that sexual orientation is not always clear. Feelings of guilt, responsibility, rejection, and simple uncertainty can make the process and growth very challenging.

For example, a woman married to a man who recognizes that she is asexual, or a man married to a woman who recognizes that he is attracted to men, may both have extreme difficulty coming to terms with their sexuality, as well as disclosing it to others. At younger ages, similarly challenging barriers and difficulties exist. For example, adolescence can be a difficult and uncertain time overall, and feelings of different or changing orientation or nonconformity can only add to the challenges (Mills-Koonce 2018).

Sexuality and Socialization

The spoken and unspoken “rules” of sexuality are learned through socialization. Socialization is an ongoing and life-long process; however, you may not have thought about how this practice connects to our understanding of sexuality. Sexual socialization refers to the process of social interaction and communication in which individuals learn and internalize the sexuality associated with their gender role and biological sex. Through sexual socialization, you develop ideas about what types of desires, bodies, acts, identities, and communities are acceptable. These “rules” are bound to sexual scripts which reflect social norms that promote heteronormativity.

A sexual script is the social rules that guide sexual interaction (Gagnon and Simon 1973). Sexual scripts come from our culture and are like a set of rules that society gives us to guide how we behave when it comes to sex. These rules tell us who we should have sex with, when and where we should do it, and in what order. We learn that there are rules for whom we should be attracted to, what is attractive, how to be sexual, and what we should and shouldn’t do with one another. When we start having sex or when we’re with a new partner, we often follow these rules closely because they help us know what to expect and how to interact. For example, we might expect to kiss someone before touching them in more intimate ways. The predictability of sexual scripts helps us move from less intimate to more intimate behaviors. We may resist or engage in some activities over others, but there are patterns to our behavior that go beyond individual choice/preference.

The sexual behaviors we participate in are also embedded in a larger power dynamic because sexual scripts are gendered (Endendijk et al. 2020). Given the conflation of masculinity and power, the masculine role in sex is perceived as the assertive role. The feminine role is perceived as primarily responsive. This conflation of sexual power, desire, and masculinity leads to the push-and-resist dynamic (Gavey 2005). The push-and-resist dynamic refers to the idea that it’s normal and expected for men to push for more sexual activity, while women are tasked with stopping or slowing sexual activity. Rather than focusing on consent, there is a gender imbalance as one gender is expected to push for activity, while another gender becomes the keeper of consent. In practice, we know that masculinity and femininity can be performed by anyone, so we don’t always think of this as directly tied to a particular sex but rather as reflecting who might be participating in masculine or feminine roles.

Sexual scripts for gay men can also reflect this. Sexual scripts for gay men in the United States tend to differentiate between the roles of tops, bottoms, and versatiles (Moskowitz and Roloff 2017; Moskowitz et al. 2021). These roles are gendered, with topping being perceived as masculine and bottoming as feminine. Given the dynamics between sex, gender, and power in the United States, people tend to think of topping, or men who identify as tops, as being not only masculine but also more dominating. Men who identify as bottoms often have to deal with stereotypes that perceive them as feminine. Other gay men will avoid replicating sexual scripts or reject labels completely by adopting a versatile identity, engaging in both penetrative and receptive roles in their sexual encounters.

While there is less research on lesbian sexual scripts, we know that women who have sex with other women have the least scripted sexual relationships. Research suggests that lesbians do not have a single standard they use to define encounters as sex, unlike many of their heterosexual counterparts who often use penile-vaginal intercourse as a way to define the occurrence of a sexual encounter (Sewell et al. 2017).

Society and LGBTQ People

The LGBT community continues to experience many types of problems. In this regard, sexual orientation is a significant source of social inequality, just as race/ethnicity, gender, and social class are sources of social inequality. Much of this discrimination is based on stereotypes and misinformation. Some is based on heterosexism, which Herek (1990) suggests is both an ideology and a set of institutional practices that privilege straight people and heterosexuality over other sexual orientations. Much like racism and sexism, heterosexism is a systematic disadvantage embedded in our social institutions, offering power to those who conform to heterosexual orientation while simultaneously disadvantaging those who do not. Homophobia, an extreme or irrational aversion to gay, lesbian, bisexual, or all LGBTQ people, which often manifests as prejudice and bias. Transphobia is a fear, hatred, or dislike of transgender people, and/or prejudice and discrimination against them by individuals or institutions.

In 2025, one of President Trump’s first actions upon becoming President in 2024 was to declare that the federal government would no longer recognize the legal existence of transgender or nonbinary people. This was embodied in the order titled “Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government,” which defines sex as strictly male or female based on the “immutable biological reality of sex” characteristics at birth. Among other things, this means that no gender marker on any government ID could be anything but male or female, a person’s correct pronouns no longer have to be honored, shelters and workplaces that receive federal funding will no longer be required to accommodate transgender individuals’ gender identities. In prisons and detention centers, the order directs that transgender women be housed with men, regardless of their safety or lived identity.

Ripple effects from this order are many, some on the state and local level, with laws proposed or passed against LGBTQ people, and companies ceasing DEI (Diversity Equity and Inclusion) policies, some on the federal level in terms of the actions and policies of federal agencies (such as the Department of Homeland Security eliminating the ban on surveillance based on sexual orientation and gender identity), and some of which are noted below.

Violence and Hate Crimes

According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, in 2024 there were 2,554 hate crimes (violence and/or property destruction) based on sexual orientation bias. This number, which includes anti-heterosexual, and anti-lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender hate crimes, is likely an underestimate because many victims do not report their victimization to the police. Anti-trans and anti-gender-nonconforming hate crimes (identity-based, rather than sexual orientation based) totaled 1,710. These numbers both represent an upward trend over the past few years. https://cde.ucr.cjis.gov/LATEST/webapp/#/pages/explorer/crime/hate-crime

In other countries LGBTQ people can face even more danger. Reports from the United Nations, Human Rights Watch, and the International Lesbian, Gay, Trans, and Intersex Association (ILGA) indicate that many countries impose penalties for same-sex relationships, gender nonconformity, and other acts deemed opposed to the cultural or religious observances of the nation. As of 2020, six United Nations members imposed the death penalty for consensual same-sex acts, and another 61 countries penalized same sex acts, through jail time, corporal punishment (such as lashing), or other measures. These countries include prominent United States allies such as the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia (both of which can legally impose the death penalty for same-sex acts).

Fighting Discrimination

Major policies to prevent discrimination based on sexual orientation have not come into effect until recent years. In 2011, President Obama overturned “don’t ask, don’t tell,” a controversial policy that required gay and lesbian people in the US military to keep their sexuality undisclosed. In 2015, the Supreme Court ruled in the case of Obgerfell vs. Hodges that the right to civil marriage was guaranteed to same-sex couples. And, as discussed above, in the landmark 2020 Supreme Court decision added sexual orientation and gender identity as categories protected from employment discrimination by the Civil Rights Act. At the same time, laws passed in several states permit some level of discrimination against same-sex couples and other LGBTQ people based on a person's individual religious beliefs or prejudices, and the current administration is actively trying to roll back civil rights and protections for LGBTQ people.

Supporting LGTBQ people requires effort to better understand them without making assumptions. Understand people by listening, respecting them, and by remembering that every person—LGBTQ or otherwise— is different. Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, or asexual is not a choice, but the way a person expresses or reveals that reality is their choice. Your experience or knowledge of other LGBTQ people (even your own experience if you are LGBTQ) cannot dictate how another person feels or acts. Finally, intersectionality means that people are defined by more than their gender identity and sexual orientation. People from different age groups, races, abilities, and experiences within the LGTBQ community have different perspectives and needs.

While each individual has their own perspective, respecting their feelings and protecting their equality and wellbeing does have some common elements. These include referring to a person as they would like to be referred to, including the avoidance of abbreviations or slang terms unless you are sure they accept them. For example, many people and organizations (including those referenced in this chapter) use the abbreviation "trans" to represent transgender people, but a non-transgender person should not use that abbreviation unless they know the person or subject is comfortable with it.

Respect also includes people's right to privacy: One person should never out a person to someone else or assume that someone is publicly out. LGBTQ allies can support everyone's rights to be equal and empowered members of society, including within organizations, institutions, and even individual classrooms.

Supporting others may require a change in mindset and practice. For example, if a transgender person wants to be referred to by a different name, or use different pronouns, it might take some getting used to, especially if you have spent years referring to the person by another name or by other pronouns. However, making the change is worthwhile and not overly onerous.

You can learn more about being an ally through campus, government, and organizational resources like the Human Rights Campaign's guide https://www.hrc.org/resources/being-an-lgbtq-ally

Language is an important part of culture, and it has been evolving to better include and describe people who are not gender-binary. In many languages, including English, pronouns are gendered. That is, pronouns are intended to identify the gender of the individual being referenced. English has traditionally been binary, providing only “he/him/his,” for male subjects and “she/her/hers,” for female subjects.

This binary system excludes those who identify as neither male nor female. The word “they,” which was used for hundreds of years as a singular pronoun, is more inclusive. As a result, in fact, Merriam Webster selected this use of “they” as Word of the Year for 2019. “They” and other pronouns are now used to reference those who do not identify as male or female on the spectrum of gender identities. It’s important to keep inclusivity in mind when referring to a group of people – “Honored Guests” being more inclusive than “Ladies and Gentleman” for example, our “siblings” instead of “brothers and sisters.”

Gender inclusive language has impacts beyond personal references. In biology, anatomy, and healthcare, for example, people commonly refer to organs or processes with gender associations. However, more accurate and inclusive language avoids such associations. For example, women do not produce eggs; ovaries produce eggs. Men are not more likely to be color-blind; those with XY chromosomes are more likely to be color blind (Gender Inclusive Biology 2019).

Beyond the language of gender, the language of society and culture itself can be either a barrier or an opening to inclusivity. Societal norms are important sociological concepts, and behaviors outside of those norms can lead to exclusion. By disassociating gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation from the concept of norms, we can begin to eliminate the implicit and explicit biases regarding those realities. In everyday terms, this can take the form of avoiding references to what is normal or not normal in regard to sexuality or gender (Canadian Public Health Association 2019).

Despite the advances this movement has made and despite the improvement in public attitudes about LGBTQ issues, we have seen in this chapter that LGBTQ people continue to experience many types of inequality and other problems. As with inequality based on race and/or ethnicity, social class, and gender, there is much work still to be done to reduce inequality based on sexual orientation.

For such inequality to be reduced, it is certainly essential that heterosexuals do everything possible in their daily lives to avoid any form of mistreatment of LGBTQ individuals and to treat them as they would treat any heterosexual. Work to block, challenge, and overturn harmful legislation is also needed.

Gender Roles

Socialization and Gender Roles

As we grow, we learn how to behave in a particular way as dictated by societal values, beliefs, and attitudes. In this socialization process, children are introduced to certain roles that are typically linked to their biological sex. The term gender role refers to society’s concept of how men and women are expected to look and how they should behave. These roles are based on norms, or standards, created by society. In U.S. culture, masculine roles are usually associated with strength, aggression, and dominance, while feminine roles are usually associated with passivity, nurturing, and subordination. Today it is largely believed that most gender differences are attributed to differences in socialization, rather than genetic and biological factors.

Socialization and the Family

Role learning starts with socialization at birth. There is considerable evidence that parents socialize sons and daughters differently. Even today, our society is quick to outfit male infants in blue and girls in pink, even applying these color-coded gender labels while a baby is in the womb. Socialization into gender roles begins in infancy, as almost from the moment of birth parents begin to socialize their children as boys or girls without even knowing it (Begley, 2009; Eliot, 2011). Parents commonly describe their infant daughters as pretty, soft, and delicate and their infant sons as strong, active, and alert, even though neutral observers find no such gender differences among infants when they do not know the infants’ sex. From infancy on, parents play with and otherwise interact with their daughters and sons differently. They play more roughly with their sons—for example, by throwing them up in the air or by gently wrestling with them—and more quietly with their daughters. When their infant or toddler daughters cry, they warmly comfort them, but they tend to let their sons cry longer and to comfort them less.

Another way children learn gender roles is through play. Parents typically supply boys with trucks, toy guns, and superhero paraphernalia, which are active toys that promote motor skills, aggression, and solitary play. Daughters are often given dolls and dress-up apparel that foster nurturing, social proximity, and role play. Studies have shown that children will most likely choose to play with “gender appropriate” toys (or same-gender toys) even when cross-gender toys are available because parents give children positive feedback (in the form of praise, involvement, and physical closeness) for gender normative behavior (Caldera, Huston, and O’Brien 1998). Some parents and experts become concerned about young people becoming too attached to these stereotypical gender roles.

The different ways that girls and boys are socialized tend to result in more privileges for boys. For instance, boys are allowed more autonomy and independence at an earlier age than daughters. They may be given fewer restrictions on appropriate clothing, dating habits, or curfews. Sons are also often free from cleaning or cooking and other household tasks that are considered feminine. Daughters are limited by their expectation to be obedient, passive, and nurturing. They are expected to take on many of the domestic responsibilities. Sons may be expected to help mow the lawn, a household task that is typically completed a few times a month, while a mother and daughter prepare meals in the kitchen, a chore that is completed daily.

Even when parents set gender equality as a goal, there may be underlying indications of inequality. For example, boys may be asked to take out the garbage or perform other tasks that require strength or toughness, while girls may be asked to fold laundry or perform duties that require neatness and care. It has been found that fathers are firmer in their expectations for gender conformity than are mothers, and their expectations are stronger for sons than they are for daughters (Kimmel 2000).

Continued Socialization

Peer influences also encourage gender socialization. As they reach school age, children begin to play different games based on their gender. Boys tend to play sports and other competitive team games governed by inflexible rules and relatively large numbers of roles, while girls tend to play smaller, cooperative games such as hopscotch and jumping rope with fewer and more flexible rules. Although girls are much more involved in sports now than a generation ago, these gender differences in their play persist and continue to reinforce gender roles. For example, boys’ games encourage them to be competitive, while girls’ games encourage them to become cooperative and trusting. The patterns we see in adult males and females thus have roots in their play as young children (Lindsey, 2011)

Children become agents who actively facilitate and apply normative gender expectations to those around them. When children do not conform to the appropriate gender role, they may face negative sanctions such as being criticized or marginalized by their peers. Though many of these sanctions are informal, they can be quite severe. For example, a girl who wishes to take karate class instead of dance lessons may be called a “tomboy” and face difficulty gaining acceptance from both male and female peer groups (Ready 2001). Boys, especially, are subject to intense ridicule for gender nonconformity (Coltrane and Adams 2004; Kimmel 2000).

Peggy Orenstein (2012) describes how her two-year-old daughter happily wore her engineer outfit and took her Thomas the Tank Engine lunchbox to the first day of preschool. It only took one little boy to say to her that “girls don’t like trains!” for her to ditch Thomas and move on to more gender “appropriate” concerns like princesses. “Doing gender” — performing tasks based upon the gender assigned by society — is learned through interaction with others. Children learn gender through direct feedback from others, particularly when they are censured for violating gender norms. Gender is in this sense an accomplishment rather than an innate trait. This does not mean that the gender roles that are learned are permanent, however, as would be suggested by a biological or hard-wired model of gender. Physical expressions of gender such as “throwing like a girl” can be transformed into a new stable gender schema when the little girl joins a softball league.

Mass Media and Socialization

Gender socialization also occurs through the mass media (Renzetti, Curran, & Maier, 2012). On children’s television shows, the major characters are male. In adult prime-time television, more men than women continue to fill more major roles in weekly shows, despite notable women’s roles in some shows. Women are also often portrayed as unintelligent or frivolous individuals who are there more for their looks than for anything else. When women are given a lead role, it often falls into one of two extremes: a wholesome, saint-like figure or a malevolent, hypersexual figure (Etaugh and Bridges 2003).

Television commercials reinforce this image. Cosmetics ads abound, suggesting not only that a major task for women is to look good but also that their sense of self-worth stems from looking good. Other commercials show women becoming ecstatic over achieving a clean floor or sparkling laundry. Judging from the world of television commercials, then, women’s chief goals in life are to look good and to have a clean house. At the same time, men’s chief goals, judging from many commercials, are to drink beer and drive cars.

Women’s and men’s magazines reinforce these gender images (Hesse-Biber, 2007; Milillo, 2008). Most of the magazines intended for teenaged girls and adult women are filled with pictures of thin, beautiful models; advice on dieting; cosmetics ads; and articles on how to win and please your man. Conversely, the magazines intended for teenaged boys and men are filled with ads and articles on cars and sports, advice on how to succeed in careers and other endeavors, and pictures of thin, beautiful (and sometimes nude) women. These magazine images again suggest that women’s chief goals are to look good and to please men and that men’s chief goals are to succeed, win over women, and live life in the fast lane.

Gender Policing

As an addition to socialization, gender roles can also be enforced through gender policing. Gender policing refers to the responses someone receive when they violate gender rules. A “tomboy” (a girl who acts masculine) is usually regarded more positively than a “sissy” (a boy who acts feminine). However, this does not mean that women are free of gender policing. Instead, the approval reflects how masculinity is perceived as more highly valued in a patriarchal society. Even so, women engaging in what others consider too much masculinity will receive the same gender policing as men who participate in a little femininity receive.

The expectation that women learn to balance their interest in “masculine” activities and traits with a feminine gender performance is called the feminine apologetic (Wade and Ferree 2015). For example, women athletes often participate in the feminine apologetic by making efforts to appear feminine, apologizing for aggression, or displaying themselves as heterosexual to counter their success in sports, an arena that is often considered masculine (Davis-Delano et al. 2009). The strategy of using the feminine apologetic enables women to benefit from participating in masculinity without attracting violent gender policing (Hardy 2014). Gender policing reinforces gender order and promotes inequality.

Gender and Biology

Biological evidence for gender differences exists, but its interpretation remains very controversial. It must be weighed against the evidence of cultural variations in the experience of gender and of socialization differences by gender. Also, as sociologist Linda L. Lindsey (2011, p. 52) notes, “Biological arguments are consistently drawn upon to justify gender inequality and the continued oppression of women.” Anthropologists, sociologists, and other social scientists tend to view gender as a social construction. Cultural and social explanations of gender differences and gender inequality promise some hope for change. To the extent that gender is indeed shaped by society and culture, it is possible to change gender and to help bring about a society where both men and women have more opportunity to achieve their full potential.

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