2.4: Communicating the Self

Presentation of Self: Communication and Identity Management

So far, we have explained how communication plays a part in how the self develops. But how do we use communication to influence how others view us? In his classic text, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (1959), Erving Goffman describes a new way of thinking about how we attempt to form the self and simultaneously influence others’ perspectives of that self we perform. This process is often called identity management, and it draws upon a dramaturgical approach. A dramaturgical approach is one where we see life as a drama or stage play unfolding. Everyday life is not just an experience we individually perceive and make sense of; rather, we collaborate with one another to act out a series of events as if we were characters in a story. As Shakespeare declared: “All the world’s a stage,” and it is this notion that helps Goffman frame the concept of identity management.

The idea of “single secret behavior,” from an episode of the cable television show Sex and the City, demonstrates how we may think about self-presentation in a social setting. The made-up term was used in the show to describe behavior that’s private, what we do when nobody is around, or what we would not do in front of other people. The character, Carrie, cited her compulsion to stack saltine crackers with jelly while her friend Charlotte reported her tendency to stare at a magnifying mirror and examine her pores. Clearly, it’s not necessary to be single to have private or secret behaviors, indeed, we all have private selves at each stage of our lives. But as Goffman explains, our public selves and private selves must be managed as we navigate interpersonal relationships.

In social situations, we rely upon a “script” that tells us what is expected in that situation. For example, we know what behavior is expected at a funeral, on a first date, or inside a classroom. Goffman (1959) explains we have both a perceived self and a presenting self. The term perceived self describes the person you believe yourself to be. When you reflect upon who you are, whether that reflection is indeed objectively true or not, you conceive of your perceived self. This self is not typically shared with others, and it contains some of your most private and intimate perceptions. If you have ever kept a journal, you may be able to observe how you see yourself. It is interesting to reread old journal entries since often you can detect changes in your view of yourself over periods of time.

Figure \(\PageIndex{1}\): "Day 165: 2 Self Portraits" by Sodanie Chea is licensed CC-BY 2.0

On the other hand, the presenting self is that public self we perform for others. It is our representation of the self we want to project to others, a self that typically conforms to approved social norms. When you go into a job interview, for example, you cultivate a public image—a presenting self. Rarely do you show up in your slippers, without a shower, and use profanity.

The perceived self and the presenting self may help us to understand Goffman’s concepts of front stage vs. back stage. When we think of a stage play, we see that there are at least two different locations for actors: out in front of the audience and back behind the stage sets. Impression management occurs out in front of the “audience.” When we are in front of others whose impressions of us are important, we may feel a greater pressure to manage our behaviors. This is what we might call being front stage. However, according to Goffman (1959), the back stage is “where the performer can reliably expect that no member of the audience will intrude” (ibid., p. 113). Thus, we are in the backstage area when we are away from others and don’t have to consider their judgments.

One of our authors provides an example:

I can remember being in graduate school years ago and having my first teaching experience. After I taught class one day, I went to the gym. As I was changing into my gym clothes in the women’s locker room, I turned to see one of my students, who coincidentally I had been speaking with about an assignment that very day. As our eyes met, it was clear we were both embarrassed. Why? Not only was our relationship at that time forged frontstage, and removing one’s clothes is a backstage activity, but also our relationship of student–instructor signified a difference in power (since in my role I was responsible to assign grades). While we ignored one another and pretended in class that the locker-room event never happened, I learned a great deal about social roles and the differences between frontstage and backstage. Have you ever had an experience in which these two clashed?

More often than not, within interpersonal interactions, we constantly construct face, which refers to the positive impression we would like to make upon others. If we fail to maintain face—for example, if we make an embarrassing remark or act out in some way—it may cause others to have a bad impression of us. Social anxiety derives from the fear of such an event. After all, we are just humans who want to feel good about ourselves. However, to maintain face or repair some damage done to lost face we engage in what Goffman calls facework. Facework describes the communicative behavior that we use, both verbal and nonverbal, to enact and maintain our own presenting image or that of another. It is any work that one does in order to construct, or save face (Goffman, 1967). Although most of the time we are not aware we are doing facework, since it is such a familiar activity, we constantly coordinate our identities with others to legitimize our version of self.

Insight into our desire to shape others’ views of who we are (even when this desire is unconscious) is helpful when we consider that social interactions are the basis of successful interpersonal relationships. If others do not accept our social performances, we are unable to coordinate with others to achieve our goals—even if those goals involve simply being liked. Perhaps more interesting is that Goffman theorized that the process of impression management is actually a way we form and reform selfhood. By interacting with others, we realize the roles we play for others—that is, we become those roles. When you go to your workplace and perform your job, you recognize yourself as the working role you play in that social situation. Thus, from Goffman’s perspective, your selfhood is born in and through performances with/for others.

Discussion: Identity and Face Negotiation Theory

Have You Ever “Saved Face?”

Being in control of how we are perceived and feeling respected for our identities is crucial to our self-esteem and confidence. So what happens when that self-assurance is threatened? For instance, what do we do when we are embarrassed? Or how would you behave after you are caught in a lie? Typically we try to “save face,” in other words, as we learned earlier, we perform facework. We communicate in a way that either explains the behavior or compensates for the behavior. According to conflict face-negotiation theory (Ting-Toomey, 2004), a perspective that overlaps in many ways with identity management, we are actually doing things every day to save face and attempting to manage how we, and others, are being perceived. The act of saving face, or doing facework, might sound simple since essentially we are just trying to uphold our pride and ego—but it often happens unconsciously, meaning we aren’t even fully aware we are doing it because it is so automatic and habitual.

However, depending on our identity and background, saving face can actually get quite complicated: we may feel pressure to not only save our own face, but also to represent ourselves in a way that promotes a positive image for our entire culture or community. There might be certain behaviors that are expected of you based on your identity within a culture, and as part of facework, you may have to struggle to uphold those standards. Furthermore, if we consider our intersectionality (our multiple overlapping identities) as we discussed earlier, we have to juggle a lot of potentially competing identities or stereotypes associated with those identities, all at once!

For example, imagine someone who identifies as a woman and as Asian American. If she is on a women’s soccer team where she does not have many Asian American teammates, she might feel more protective of her cultural identity since she is part of a minority within this context. She would most likely perform facework to promote a positive image of Asian Americans. Conversely, if she is on a soccer team that is co-ed (mixed gendered), but made up of mostly Asian American players, she might perform facework to promote a positive self-image of women.

As you can see, the precise identities that we prioritize often depend upon the context within which we find ourselves. Our choices are often fluid, unconscious, and quite subjective (after all, there is no right or wrong way to save face), which only complicates how we perform facework.

Reflection

• Can you think of a time when you behaved in a certain way to “save face?”
• What parts of your identity were most prominent or salient at that time, and which were less significant or more muted at that time? Why?

Presentation of Self: Communication in the Virtual World

We have already learned how impactful social comparison can be when we hold ourselves up to others in our lives. Today, we are finding that social comparison is even more magnified in the virtual world. There is a fine line between social media and social networking sites. Social media broadcasts, or relays content without a necessary interactive component, like YouTube. Social networking sites (SNS) can be interactive so that users have the option to communicate directly with others, like Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and Snapchat, to name a few. With the increase in popularity across the globe, there is a greater tendency to engage in social comparison as more personal information is disclosed on these sites. The use of social media and social networking connects to our sense of self as we engage in social comparison through these sites. Social comparison relies on having information about others readily available. All you have to do is open any of these apps to look at others’ posts. Recent research suggests that the use of social media and social networking leads to a greater degree of social comparison and depression (Nguyen, et al., 2020). Why do you thank that is?

Figure \(\PageIndex{2}\): Social Media Addiction by Today Testing is licensed CC-BY-SA 4.0

Most of what we see online is idealistic, given that most people tend to post positive things about themselves, such as successes or attractive photos. The “norms,” or “standards” for attractiveness, success, intelligence, etc., become the basis for social comparison. It is not surprising that people who spend more time on these sites are more likely to agree that others have “better lives” and are “happier” than themselves. Individuals’ self-perceptions and self-evaluations tend to suffer after being exposed to profiles of attractive others on social media and social networking sites.

The way in which we engage online also impacts our self-esteem. Some people are passive users and simply read what others post, whereas others are active users in that they post and interact with others. Individuals who are active users find their worth primarily from feedback given to them by others, and this includes the number of “likes” and/or comments they receive. Upward social comparison, (thinking that others are superior to you), is associated with decreased life satisfaction and other negative feelings like envy and jealousy among SNS users. By disabling the “Like” feature, one might be able to avoid some of these negative feelings. However, like many addictions, it is difficult for us to consider disabling this feature, since each time we see that our post is liked, our brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is responsible, in part, for our moods. Why would we want to give up the high that we get while actively using social networking sites?

According to Nguyen, et al., as cited in Casale and Banshi (2020), “Social media addiction (or problematic social media use) classified into DSM V is a proposed form of psychological or behavioral dependence on social media platforms” (p. 257). Meanwhile, mental disorders (or mental illnesses) are conditions that affect your thinking, feeling, mood, and behavior (Medlineplus, 2020). It is hard for physicians to diagnose the disease if the addict does not report their problem. Young people and students are considered to be most vulnerable to problematic internet use (Kuss et al., 2013; Kuss & Lopez-Fernandez, 2016; Loannidis et al., 2018). A study in India showed that the rate of social media addiction was 36.9% among 1,389 social media users who were pre-university college students (Ramesh et al., 2018). Furthermore, the problem of social media use in children and young people is often associated with symptoms of mental disorder, for example, anxiety and depression (Hoge et al., 2017). In the United States, approximately 25% of college students surveyed showed signs of depression when using Facebook (Moreno et al., 2011). A 2013 survey from the American Psychological Association found that psychological problems were increasing among college students, such as anxiety (41.6%), depression (36.4%), and relationship problems (35.8%) (American Psychological Association, 2013).

We can also see how social media platforms and networking can lead to positive outcomes. Individuals who would normally not interact with others due to social anxiety find their voice through social media. They will be more interactive and communicate with others positively because they feel safer. In addition, social media can be used to promote a cause or event that is for the betterment of society.

In short, findings on social media use suggest that first, symptoms of depression and anxiety are associated with excessive social media use. Second, people who have a passive lifestyle are at a higher risk of depression. Third, excessive social media usage time (over three hours a day), is a significant risk to users' anxiety and depression. Finally, social comparison habits are likely to cause depression and psychological disorders because users often feel lost when others share positive experiences. Do you or people you know use social media? Most likely, the answer is “yes.” Given the research discussed in the sidebar that follows, it is worth your time to consider how social media may play a role in your self-concept and/or self-esteem. I am not advocating you simply cease using electronic platforms; rather, I urge you to be mindful of the ways you use them, and how they impact your interpersonal relationships.

Explore: Social Media Use and Politics

A recent article by writer Brooke Auxier posits that “From global protests against racial injustice to the 2020 election, some Americans who use social media are taking to these platforms to mobilize others and show their support for causes or issues. But experiences and attitudes related to political activities on social media vary by race and ethnicity, age, and party, according to a Pew Research Center survey of U.S. adults conducted June 16-22, 2020 (Auxier, 2020). Auxier further notes that individuals use social media to post pictures in support of a cause, look up information about events like rallies or protests nearby, or encourage others to take action. The data reveal significant differences between the use of social media based on race, age, and political affiliation. For example, the Pew Research Center found that “Black users stand out: 48% of Black social media users say they have posted a picture on social media to show their support for a cause in the past month, compared with 37% of Hispanic users and 33% of white users. Black adults who use social media (45%) are also more likely than their Hispanic (33%) or white (30%) counterparts to say that in the past month they’ve taken to social media to encourage others to take action on issues that are important to them” (Auxier, 2020).

Reflection

• Would you agree with these results based on your own experience with social media?

Try this: Read the rest of the Pew Research Center report on differences in age and political affiliation. Would you agree with the data that are presented? How does this make you feel about your race, age, and political views? Is this one aspect of yourself that you are particularly pleased with, or one that you might hope to change?