8: Marriage and Intimate Relationships

Marriage and Intimate Relationships  

Marriage remains one of the most significant social institutions across societies. At its core, marriage is a legal union between two people recognized by the state, but it is also a deeply personal and social commitment that shapes family life, community, and identity. While marriage has taken many forms throughout history, the most common in the United States today is monogamy—a partnership between two individuals who agree to remain exclusive to one another. This form has long been the cultural and legal standard in the U.S., though it exists alongside other forms such as polygamy (having multiple spouses) and polyandry (a woman having multiple husbands), which have been practiced in other cultures around the world.

Though polygamy was once practiced by some early Mormon groups, it is now illegal in the U.S., and the mainstream Latter-day Saints Church excommunicates those who attempt it. Polyandry has appeared in only a few societies, such as among certain Pacific Island cultures and pre-Taliban Afghan communities. While most Americans are legally and culturally monogamous, many participate in what sociologists call serial monogamy—a series of marriages or long-term relationships over a lifetime. This pattern reflects both an enduring belief in marriage and a growing willingness to leave unsatisfying unions in pursuit of healthier ones.

Marriage Trends and Shifting Patterns

Marriage in 2025 looks different than it did a generation ago. The overall marriage rate has declined slightly, while cohabitation—living together without being married—has become more common and socially accepted. Many couples see cohabitation as a practical or emotional “test run” for marriage. Yet, research consistently finds that couples who cohabit without clear intentions about marriage often experience less relationship stability. By contrast, those who cohabit as a step toward marriage tend to build stronger partnerships.

At the same time, the U.S. divorce rate has been steadily declining. This trend can be attributed to several factors: people are marrying later, choosing partners more carefully, and benefiting from greater access to relationship education. The once-popular belief that “half of all marriages end in divorce” is no longer accurate—current research places the lifetime risk closer to 40 percent for first marriages. These patterns suggest that while fewer people are marrying overall, those who do are often better prepared for long-term commitment.

Cohabitation and Modern Relationships

Cohabitation has become a normal stage in the relationship process, especially among younger adults. It allows couples to share finances, living space, and emotional intimacy without formalizing the relationship legally. However, sociologists note that cohabiting couples often face unique challenges. Without the clear social scripts or institutional supports of marriage, partners may have more uncertainty about the future of their relationship.

Repeated or “serial" cohabitation - a series of cohabiting relationships over the course of time is linked to lower marital stability later on. Education plays a role as well: college-educated couples are more likely to transition from cohabitation to marriage and to remain married afterward. Regardless of background, couples who communicate openly about expectations and long-term goals tend to have more stable and satisfying relationships.

Sociological Perspectives on Marriage

Sociologists study marriage not simply as a personal relationship but as a social institution that reflects larger cultural and structural forces. Each theoretical perspective offers unique insights:

• Functionalist theory views marriage as essential to maintaining social order. It provides structure for raising children, dividing labor, and ensuring social stability.

• Conflict theory examines how power dynamics—often shaped by gender, class, or culture—can create tension and inequality within marriages.

• Symbolic Interactionism emphasizes the meanings and daily interactions that couples construct together, showing how shared symbols and communication patterns shape intimacy.

• Feminist theory highlights how traditional gender expectations have influenced marriage, often placing unequal emotional or domestic burdens on women, while also noting how modern partnerships are evolving toward greater equality.

Through these lenses, marriage becomes more than a private matter and it is a reflection of the society in which it exists.

Commitment and Relationship Maintenance

Building and maintaining a strong marriage requires intentional effort. Psychologists Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee  describe the idea of the We—a shared identity that couples form when they prioritize their relationship above all other social ties, including children, friends, and extended family. A strong sense of “we-ness” helps couples navigate conflict, make joint decisions, and maintain emotional closeness.

Marriages that thrive over decades don’t do so by accident. Sociologists Robert and Jeanette Lauer found that long-term married couples frequently emphasize friendship as the foundation of their relationship. Liking one’s spouse as a person, maintaining a sense of humor, and expressing appreciation all help sustain marital satisfaction. Commitment—to one another and to the institution of marriage itself—also matters. The concept of marital entropy suggests that without active maintenance, relationships naturally drift apart. Couples who invest time, communication, and care into their partnership effectively counteract this process, keeping their bond strong over time.

Benefits of Marriage

Despite the changes in how people approach relationships, marriage continues to offer numerous benefits. Married individuals, on average, report better physical and emotional health, greater financial stability, and stronger social support networks. They also receive legal and institutional benefits such as inheritance rights, tax advantages, and medical decision-making authority. Children raised by married parents often experience more stability, higher educational achievement, and lower risks of poverty.

However, it’s important to note that these benefits are correlational, not causal—marriage itself doesn’t guarantee happiness or success. Healthy relationships, whether married or not, depend on mutual respect, communication, and commitment. Still, for many, marriage remains a meaningful milestone and a framework for building family and community.