CROSS-CULTURAL COMMUNICATION
Communicating across cultures
When people from different cultures communicate, this is cross-cultural communication. This can be people from different families, different occupations, different races, ages, and genders. It can also be cross-cultural communication when two people are from different countries.
What is needed in cross-cultural communication is competence, and this comes partially from having an open mind. Critical thinking is necessary to ascertain what these differences are, and how to get the point across in a different way, or at least be able to explain the why. Chung notes the rapidly changing demographics in the United States, saying, “what was once a homogeneous community, we may now find more diversity and cultural values in flux” and that we learn more from people who are different than people who are similar (2019, p. 376). There’s value in diversity.
An example of cross-cultural communication is when a couple comes together and they are from different cultures, i.e. a person from Houston, Texas, gets together with another person from near Houston, Texas, but who is originally from Lima, Peru, by way of Brazil. There may be a nuanced language barrier, or a difference in food expectations, and a difference in expected dinner times. These partners may have the same religion, and so there is that in common.
But, families communicate differently, so they must negotiate their norms nonverbally and verbally. For instance, the Peruvian hugs and has more communication through touch. There may be differences in expectations for how to raise children, household chores, and who works and who doesn’t. There may also be questions if there is a lack of competence of one or both of the people involved. The initial attraction may be physical, but there would be a lot of interpretation going on in actions.
Competence and cultural learning
How we learn about other cultures may improve our competence level. Many people will simply begin to ask questions, or may do research on the particular culture of the person. Knowing that the research is about a group of people should be telling, as all people from within a culture will not be the same. However, reaching out shows outreach.
Food is a great way to find out about a culture, and the treatment of food. Many families in the United States rarely have dinner together, and instead fend for themselves, while other families insist upon a family dinner at one table with no electronics every night. Some people will want everyone to eat all the food, where some people will want some food to be left on the plate. This is something that must be learned.
Within communities, there may be many people from different countries, and there is a need to learn the norms. Consider a real estate agent who is a white woman from Texas and who is invited to a client’s baby shower. The client is from Nigeria, and the real estate agent budgeted only 45 minutes of time for the shower. The real estate agent showed up at the designated time, was there for almost two hours. The client showed up right as she was leaving. The real estate agent was confused, but hadn’t researched the culture. Time is viewed differently within the Nigerian culture, but the agent didn’t realize that would apply in the United States. However, with many Nigerian people at the party, the time standard was not typical U.S. time orientation.
Knowing our audience is important, so we become more competent. The best intercultural communicators are people who are genuinely interested in other cultures.
Problems in cross-cultural communication
Biases
Problems in cross-cultural communication can be stereotyping, ethnocentrism, prejudice, discrimination, and racism. Stereotyping, according to Hall, is “attributions that cover up individual differences and ascribe certain characteristics to an entire group of people” (2005, p. 192). An example might be that Asians are good at math. While this may be a positive stereotype, it’s still not correct to use, whether it’s positive or negative.
Ethnocentrism is “assuming that one’s group is the center of the world” and feelings of superiority (Hall, 2005, p. 198). Though ethnocentrism may not be meant to be negative, it shows a lack of critical thinking, and thinking outside the culture. The real estate agent from our earlier example who attended her Nigerian friend’s baby shower could have made the mistake of telling her friend that it’s better to have an exact start time for an event, but instead, the agent went along with the uncertainty even if it made the agent feel a bit out of her comfort zone.
Prejudice is “a rigid attitude that’s (1) based on group membership and (2) predisposes an individual to feel, think, or act in a negative way toward another person or group of persons.” (Hall, 2005, p. 202). Prejudice is always negative. Discrimination is acting negatively based on prejudice, while racism is discrimination or prejudice directed at someone of a different race because of the notion that one’s own race is superior. These get progressively more negative and harmful.
Rockson (2019) writes a primer on how to connect with others through cross-cultural communication, and suggests that people need to be aware of their own values and biases, as that helps prevent missteps and bad relationships. Rockson’s (2019) book suggests the solution is to educate, don’t perpetuate, and instead, communicate.
Relationships
On the positive side, cross-cultural relationships often develop. Relationships have many variations: strangers, acquaintances, friends, romantic partners, and family. The way all these relationships are valued varies between cultures. For instance, the elderly population of some cultures is treated differently than in other cultures, like Japan versus the United States. In Japan, 58% of elderly people are likely to live with one of their children, while in the United States, 15% of elderly people live with someone else, and Japanese elders are seen to have more wisdom and are listened to with reverence and seen as relevant (Karasawa, 2011).
Family relationships tend to be nuclear in the United States, though the saying “blood is thicker than water” has been heard in the country. This saying means that family relationships are more valued than other relationships. Within families, relationships within collectivist countries like Japan tend toward family members sticking with extended family members, even to the point of living in the same households.
When people immigrate to the United States, the tradition of extended family living together often carries over. For instance, Indian families often have multiple generations living together, as do Hispanic families from collectivist cultures. As economies change, these things may tend to change as well.
Within the United States, the culture of friendliness with strangers varies. In Southern states, there tends to be an air of friendliness, and strangers will help each other out, and go out of their way to do nice things, whereas in northern states, or larger cities, like New York City, people are not as conversational, and may not consider others as much. Neither is good or bad, they just are.
Acquaintances within cross-cultural relationships often co-exist, like one street in Houston, where there was a large Catholic family with five children, next door to a lesbian couple with two children, a black family with children, a couple with no children, an Indian family, and an Asian family. This particular community touted itself as the most international community in the world, and everyone coexisted, but no one seemed to truly involve themselves in each other’s lives.
With cross-cultural friends, more of an effort is made to reach out and maintain. With cross-cultural relationships, there may be a more difficult time understanding each other’s world views, but the variations in ethnicities, race, religion, and more can make things more interesting. An example would be a friendship in which one friend is an atheist, whereas the other is an evangelical Christian, or a friendship where one person is Catholic and the other person is Hindu. Even with that religious difference, it can be a learning opportunity.
Romantic partners may have the hardest time of all of these within cross-cultural relationships. Romantic partners of different backgrounds may need the goodwill or acceptance of their extended families, and sometimes may not receive it. For instance, an Indian-American Hindu woman marrying a Bangladeshi-born American Muslim man might encounter resistance from their families, but might persist. Or, the families could intervene and question them.
The video Working with Cross-Cultural Couples (2018) includes an example of an African American woman who married a West African Muslim man, and found that she had more in common with a white man from Colorado than she did with her own husband, though she and her husband both had similar skin tone. She experienced being called a “black white wife” by her husband’s family, as she is American. The video noted that the couple stayed married despite these issues.
The earlier Peruvian-American who married the several-generation Texan didn’t encounter reservations from family, but both encountered some need to be mindful about their respective families and expectations. For instance, the Peruvian mother-in-law moved to the house on the next street over, but maintained some distance instead of moving right into the couple’s house. The white Texan man learned to be more physically affectionate with the Peruvian in-laws, as is the norm.
Affection may be experienced differently within cross-cultural couples, and decisions need to be made about language and children, religion, and naming, and all of these things that may be negotiated along the way.
Improving cross-cultural relationships
When it comes to improving cross-cultural relationships, think about differences and similarities, and how those may cause both people within a relationship to react. Age and generational differences show up in family relationships, as an example, teenage children and their parents or grandparents may have differences of opinion.
They may place importance on different notions as well. Note, the “OK, Boomer” phenomenon from 2019. This phrase is used whenever younger people want to ignore or dismiss something a person of an older generation says. In current U.S. culture, there are several generations, starting with Generation Z, people who are currently very young up to about age 19 or so. These are people who have grown up with technology, unless their parents forbade it. Millennials, or Generation Y, are currently the young adults, on up to the late 30s. While they didn’t start out with technology, they’ve used it most of their lives, and it’s permeated their view of the world.
Generation X, or what was known as they were coming of age as the ‘Slacker Generation,’ is the generation in their 40s to early 50s currently. They are at the peak of their careers, and have learned to integrate technology into their lives. The Boomer generation is currently in their later 50s to early 70s, and they are retiring or continuing to work. The generation known as the Greatest Generation is aging, and definitely did not grow up with technology, but they are living longer than the generations before them. Age can be a factor in relating to people interpersonally, so think about topics of conversation and examples that are used, as those will vary greatly between generations.
People who are older will have different wording for dating, such as calling someone a beau or boyfriend, or will say, “are you going with someone?” or they may use the word “courting.” Teens will say, “I’m dating someone” or if it’s not “official” then “talking to someone.”
Racial differences also play a part of communication. What is important to think about with race relations is that race is still a big factor in many people’s minds, and it’s been in the news a lot lately. Sometimes people don’t communicate with people of different races because they haven’t experienced such friendships before, and so there is uncertainty.
Talk with people from different backgrounds, and ask about experiences. With people who are of different backgrounds, listen and then believe their experience, and understand privilege. Even things as simple as the emoji for a thumbs up tends to be first in a white skin tone, but brown skin tone emojis exist as well.
When you are within a culture, sometimes you may not notice these things, but take a look around. Seek out experience, and learn. Know that bias can creep into conversations, but understand that, apologize for it, and make a commitment to change behaviors.
Gender roles in different cultures may be unknown, and may be more pronounced, as discussed earlier in the masculine and feminine culture section. Think critically about the gender roles, and what you may see in others. Just because a woman takes on more traditionally feminine roles in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s bad, unless she doesn’t want to do those roles. An example is a new heterosexual couple watching a romantic movie for the first time together, and the male cries and the female doesn’t. Is this outside of what is seen as the norm? Perhaps, but is it wrong? Nope. Self-expression can come in different modes for people.
Disability as a factor in relationships can affect interpersonal communication. People with disabilities should be addressed as you would address anyone else. If someone has cerebral palsy, and uses a wheelchair and has an attendant with them to help facilitate communication, when you converse with the person, make eye contact with the person with the disability, not the attendant.
When someone with Down syndrome is ordering food at a restaurant, ask them what they want, not the other people they are with. Expect people with a disability to be able to function independently, until they ask for help. One time, a 10-year-old boy with Down syndrome surprised his parents by climbing out a window to go sit on the roof. They realized what he’d done, and knew to mitigate for that in the future, but learned that he could figure out how to do things they never imagined.
When someone who is blind is walking down the hall, don’t grab their arm to guide them. Rather, if it appears they could need help, ask if they need help. With a deaf person, make lots of eye contact, and feel free to write something down on paper if other ways of communicating aren’t working. Sign language interpreters often help in larger-group situations. If you know the person, try to learn American Sign Language (if that is what the person uses).
There are many different types of disabilities, including physical, developmental, intellectual, and learning disabilities. Sometimes people have a combination of these disabilities. People appreciate effort to communicate with them, and relationships with people with disabilities can be extremely rewarding for all involved. Chances are, all people have encountered someone with a disability in their educational journey.
