10.3: Frameworks for Identifying Types of Climate Messages
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In this section, we will examine two frameworks for understanding and identifying relational messages that contribute to communication climate: confirming versus disconfirming messages and supportive versus defensive messages. Many of the common behaviors that can lead to a cold climate are performed in an automatic state of mind, without forethought or strategy. Exploring these types of messages in pairs helps us be better able to mindfully recognize warm climate alternatives that might be better received.
Confirming messages convey another person’s value and worthwhile disconfirming messages may suggest someone is devalued and unimportant. Obviously, most of us like to receive warm confirming messages because they foster emotional safety as well as personal and relational growth. However, it is likely that many of the messages you receive and give are somewhere between the two extremes. Let’s look at three specific types of confirming and disconfirming messages. Consider how each may meet or not meet our social needs.
Another useful framework for understanding communication climate can be found in the six defensive and supportive behavior pairs proposed by psychologist Jack Gibb in 1965, adapted here with some pairs re-named for clarity. These six behaviors are, on the one hand, likely to generate an emotional climate of defensiveness (cold) and are, on the other, likely generate a supportive climate (warm).
In the box below, we define and give examples of each of the six pairs: evaluation/description, manipulation/straightforwardness, control/collaboration, indifference/empathy, superiority/equality, certainty/flexibility. In addition, we propose some possibilities for how climate might be perceived by the recipients of such behavior and why it might be perceived that way.