4.4: Masturbation
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From the time we are in utero, we do things to self-soothe and to feel good. Pleasure seeking is part of what makes us human. Our understanding of what we are doing to achieve pleasure changes as we develop, but it is inherent in who we are. Pleasure is well, pleasurable and why wouldn’t that be something to strive for? One of the things humans do to find pleasure is to masturbate. Masturbation, also known as auto eroticism, is often when a person touches, strokes or rubs their own genitals for sexual pleasure, but orgasm can also be achieved without touch. Our is mind is our largest sex organ and orgasm, a climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure centered in the sex organs can also occur through mental stimulation. People masturbate in a variety of ways; sexual pleasure is different for everyone. Direct stimulation of erectile tissue is a common way to masturbate. People with clitorises may touch their clitoris, people with penises may touch their penis, with the goal of feeling pleasure through orgasm. Masturbation does not have to be a solo act. When two or more people masturbate together it’s called mutual masturbation. This can help people explore what feels good with another person(s) and facilitate communication with their partner(s) about their bodies and what feels good. Masturbation is a safe way to experience pleasure, set our own comfort zones about our bodies, and learn what feels good. Interoception is the perception humans have of sensations inside the body. Masturbation can strengthen that sense which is helpful in overall wellness. People of all ages masturbate. People who are single and people in relationships masturbate. Some people don't ever masturbate, or very infrequently; others masturbate more. There is no right way; whatever you do, is ok. Masturbation is a healthy aspect of our sexuality and overall wellness. There have been various books and studies done on orgasm, and how to achieve and extend orgasm by various sex researchers. The two linked podcasts, Extended Massive Orgasm and Maximize Your Orgasm w/ Dolly Josette discuss some of the work in the field of orgasmic studies.
Sex toys are often written off by society as taboo novelties, but they have been around for centuries. They are part of our ancient history, and they have evolved alongside us. There was a time when sex toys were recognized as wellness products, and they are slowly but surely regaining that status.
The oldest known sex toy is a stone phallus found in a cave in Germany and dates back to 29,000BC. In 1300 AD, ben wah balls, c-rings, and double-ended dildos were all the rage in China. French sailors in the 16oo's created the first known sex dolls; back then, they were made of straw and referred to as "dames de voyage." During the 1800s in England, the short-lived medical term Hysteria was coined, and vibrators were the remedy. This medical diagnosis made sex toys respectable. They were considered wellness products by the medical community and became home necessities for a while. The vibrator was the fifth domestic appliance to be electrified before the iron and the vacuum, and prominent women's magazines featured vibrators for sale alongside makeup and home goods. Sex toys were seen as necessary as the iron until 1952 when The American Medical Association declared hysteria is not an ailment. With that decree, sex toys retreated to the back rooms of seedy shops and the back pages of porn magazines, but their demonization did not stop their innovation.
Despite being frowned upon and seen as dirty and lewd, the sex toy industry continued to create products for those seeking pleasure.
Thanks to the tenacity of pleasure product makers, educators like Bettie Dodson, the rise of female-run and owned sex shops, and shows like Sex and The City, sex toys have become a multi-billion dollar market accessible from nearly anyplace, online or off.
Today, if you walk into a sex shop, you will find a vast collection of products designed to be pleasurable and gender-affirming, accessible, and medicinal. While many stores still group products based on gender, female toys, and male toys, there has been a movement toward grouping products based on their type and the body parts they're meant to be used on to move away from gendering products. Here are some examples of the types of products you'll find in your local sex shop.
"Sex Toys" by Lewonic is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0
Vibrators: Vibrators can be used for vaginal, clitoral, g-spot, testicles, and penis stimulation
- Clitoral
- G-spot
- Dual Action (rabbit toys)
- Pleasure Air/Air Pulse
Dildos: Dildos can be used for vaginal and anal stimulation, and depending on the shape, they can also be used for g-spot and prostate stimulation.
- Strap-On Compatible
- Packers
- Double Ended
- Inflatable
Penis Toys: Penis toys can be used for shaft and testicle stimulation
- Strokers / Masturbaters
- Penis Sleeves
- Pumps
- Air Pulse
- Vibrating Strokers
- Cock Rings
Anal Toys: Anal toys can be used for general anal stimulation and prostate stimulation.
- Plugs
- Beads
- Prostate
- Inflatable Plugs
Sexcessories: Sexcessories enhance pleasure and create dual purposes for other sex toys.
- Strap-on Harnesses
- Penis Extenders
- Humping/Grinding Toys
- Pussy/Cock Pumps
Sexual Health Products: These products aid with various sexual health issues and can be used to enhance pleasure.
- Prostate Toys
- Kegel Exercisers
- Dilators
- Gender Affirming Products
- Penetration Buffers
- Lubes & Balms
The vast array of high-quality, technologically advanced sex toys on the market today has helped move these products out of the shadows and back into the realm of home necessities. As we further explore the connection between mental health and pleasure, sex toys will continue to evolve and aid in the journey towards discovery.
From Lola the sexpert . Find her at DirtyLola.Co