3: Gender and Socialization

What is the Difference Between Sex and Gender?

By far, sex and gender are among the most socially significant factors in human history. 

Sex is defined as the biological distinctions between males and females. In the English language, the word “sex” comes from the Latin word “sexus” meaning male or female. Sex is considered by most scholars and scientists to be an ascribed status—something we are born with.

So what is the main difference between the sexes? Reproduction. Males can impregnate females; females gestate, give birth, and nurse offspring. Males are fertile year-round, while females are fertile only during ovulation. Females are only available for impregnation when ovulating.

Sex Differences and Similarities

Sex is one's biological classification as male or female. It is established at conception when the sperm fertilizes the egg. Sex can be defined at the genetic level: XX = female, XY = male.

Surprisingly, there are very few differences between males and females beyond reproductive functions. Many students ask, “But what about the opposite sex argument?” Biologically, there is no true “opposite sex.” If we set aside reproduction, males and females are remarkably similar. Table 3.1 summarizes key biological sex differences.

Table 3.1: Key Biological Sex Differences

Despite these differences, males and females share far more similarities. Table 3.2 shows major biological systems common to both sexes.

Table 3.2: Major Biological Systems Shared by Males and Females

The takeaway: humans are far more biologically similar than different. Differences exist primarily in reproductive anatomy, hormone cycles, and slight variations in strength and life expectancy.

Childhood Socialization 

Families are the first teachers of gender. Long before children ever enter a classroom, they are already learning powerful lessons about what it means to be a boy, girl, or somewhere in between. Sociologists call this process gender socialization, and it happens through everyday family life.

Think about the toys children are given. Boys are often handed trucks, action figures, or sports gear, while girls are more likely to receive dolls, kitchen sets, or princess costumes. These choices may feel harmless or even natural, but they send strong signals about which activities and roles are “appropriate” for each gender. Research shows that parents, often without realizing it, reinforce these patterns when they praise daughters for being “pretty” or “helpful” but encourage sons to be “tough” or “independent.”

Chores are another example. A daughter might be expected to wash dishes or babysit younger siblings, while a son mows the lawn or takes out the trash. The work itself is not the issue, families do need chores completed. But when responsibilities are divided along gendered lines, children learn early that men and women have different roles in the household.

Families are not the only influence. Media, children’s books, and television shows also portray gender in patterned ways. Even in preschool programming, male characters are more likely to be leaders or adventurers, while female characters are often caregivers or sidekicks. Social media now extends these influences into childhood, shaping ideas about appearance, popularity, and “ideal” gender performance.

Of course, not every family follows these traditional patterns. Some parents make conscious choices to raise their children in gender-neutral or gender-flexible ways, offering both dolls and trucks, or encouraging sons to cook and daughters to play sports. These practices challenge the idea that there is only one “right” way to be masculine or feminine. Families headed by same-sex parents, as well as many immigrant and working-class families, also show different approaches to gender socialization, reminding us that gender norms are both cultural and flexible.

In short, by the time children reach adolescence, most have already internalized powerful beliefs about gender. Whether through toys, chores, or media messages, the family lays the foundation for how children view themselves and others in terms of gender roles.

Gender Socialization

Gender is the cultural definition of what it means to be a man or a woman. Unlike sex, which is biologically determined, gender is shaped by political, religious, philosophical, linguistic, and traditional forces. Throughout much of history, women have often been denied opportunities afforded to men. Historical documents consistently reflect two major themes: first, that women were considered legally, economically, biologically, and even spiritually inferior to men, and second, that women were seen as incomplete or flawed versions of men, as reflected in Aristotle’s The Generation of Animals, Freud’s concept of “penis envy,” and John Gray’s Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

Science has since shown that these assumptions are inaccurate. Women are not broken versions of men; in fact, males are genetically a variant of females, with studies suggesting that a greater number of X-linked traits in males correlates with better health and longevity.

Gender socialization refers to the process by which individuals learn the socially prescribed behaviors and expectations for males and females. From birth, families, schools, peers, media, and society at large all contribute to shaping what is considered appropriate for men and women. Families are often the first site of socialization, modeling behaviors and rewarding conformity. Boys may be praised for assertiveness and competitiveness, while girls are encouraged to be nurturing and polite. Everyday objects, from trucks to dolls, subtly reinforce these expectations.

Schools continue this process through both explicit instruction and subtle cues. Teachers may call on boys more often in mathematics or science classes, while encouraging girls in the arts or literature. Classroom materials, curricula, and group assignments can all emphasize traditional gender roles. Peer interactions further shape behavior, as children learn what is socially acceptable within their social groups. Nonconforming behaviors, such as boys pursuing dance or girls excelling in engineering, can provoke teasing or marginalization, signaling the boundaries of acceptable gender expression.

Media—television, movies, advertising, and social media—provides repeated depictions of gendered behaviors. Men are often shown as strong, independent, and decisive, while women are portrayed as caring, attractive, and supportive. These messages influence how children and adults perceive what men and women can or should do in society. Social acceptance and exclusion reinforce these behaviors, while laws, workplace practices, and social policies have historically codified gendered expectations, limiting opportunities for women.

Gender Roles as a Social Force

Gender roles are socially prescribed expectations about what is normal, desirable, or acceptable behavior for men and women in specific jobs, positions, and social contexts over the life course. Throughout history, gender roles have been shaped by three major social forces: religion, tradition, and labor-based economic systems.

Religious doctrines in many of the world’s major faiths—Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, and others—often assigned distinct roles to men and women. In many cases, women were expected to adhere to strict behavioral norms, sometimes linked to reproductive or ritual functions. For example, the Book of Leviticus in the Judeo-Christian Old Testament contains hygiene and reproductive regulations specific to women. While these practices may have had symbolic or spiritual purposes, modern research has shown no scientific health benefits associated with them. Historically, religious teachings often reinforced the idea that women were subordinate to men, though contemporary interpretations of many faiths have shifted to support gender equality.

Tradition, the second social force, has also imposed restrictive gender roles. Across the world, cultural practices have limited women’s autonomy, access to resources, and life expectancy. Table 3.3 illustrates the most severe forms of oppression women have faced globally, from sexual slavery to maternal deaths and wage disparities.

Many traditions are so extreme that they directly affect women’s health and longevity, from withholding nutrition to unsafe childbirth practices. Practices such as female genital mutilation, sexual slavery, and public demeaning of women persist in some regions despite widespread condemnation by human rights organizations, governments, and global institutions such as the United Nations and WHO. These practices highlight how deeply culture, religion, and economic forces can intersect to perpetuate gender inequality.

Economic systems have also reinforced gendered expectations. Women’s reproductive roles have historically been used to justify lower wages and limited workplace participation. Globally, women continue to earn less than men for the same work, though progress has been made in formal education and professional opportunities. Access to higher education has improved substantially, with women increasingly earning college degrees and entering high-skilled professions. Figures 3.1 and 3.2 illustrate trends in women’s participation in high-tech careers and doctoral-level education in the U.S., showing progress alongside remaining disparities.

Adolescence and Dating Scripts

By the time children enter their teenage years, the gender lessons learned in families begin to play out in dating and relationships. Sociologists often describe these patterns as dating scripts, socially constructed rules that guide how young people are expected to behave in romantic situations.

Traditionally, these scripts place boys in the role of the initiator. They are encouraged to ask someone out, make the first move, and even pay for dates. Girls, on the other hand, are often taught to be more passive, waiting to be asked, focusing on appearance, and placing a high value on being chosen. These expectations may seem natural to many teens because they mirror the gender messages they have already absorbed at home and in the media.

Of course, these scripts are not universal and they are changing. Many young women today are comfortable initiating dates or expressing interest first, while young men may reject the idea that they must always be in control. LGBTQ+ teens also challenge traditional scripts by creating their own norms of dating and intimacy, often emphasizing flexibility and mutual decision making.

Intersectionality matters here as well. For example, immigrant families may pass down cultural expectations about dating that are more traditional, while African American and Latino families often socialize their daughters to be independent and assertive in relationships. Class differences also play a role: working class teens may date more casually and at younger ages compared to their middle class peers, who often see dating as a step toward long term partnership and marriage.

In all of these cases, adolescence is a testing ground for the gender lessons learned in childhood. Dating gives young people the opportunity to rehearse adult relationship roles, whether that means reinforcing traditional patterns or experimenting with new ones.

Marriage and Partnerships

The lessons of gender socialization do not stop at adolescence. They follow people into adult relationships and shape expectations in marriage and long term partnerships. For much of U.S. history, marriage was built around a clear gender division of labor. Men were expected to be the breadwinners and women were expected to be homemakers. This model placed men in charge of providing financially and women in charge of raising children and maintaining the household.

Although this traditional pattern still exists in some families, modern relationships often look very different. Today many couples are dual earners, and some families have fathers who stay home while mothers work outside of the home. In addition, more partners are attempting to share household labor equally. Still, research shows that even when women are employed full time, they often carry what sociologist Arlie Hochschild called the “second shift.” This refers to the unpaid work of cooking, cleaning, childcare, and managing the emotional life of the family that usually falls on women.

Emotional labor is another area where gender expectations shape marriages and partnerships. Women are often expected to manage feelings in the relationship, from planning family gatherings to soothing conflicts. Men, on the other hand, may be socialized to avoid vulnerability, which can make it harder for them to participate in this emotional work.

At the same time, families are not static. Couples negotiate roles depending on their cultural background, class position, and personal values. Immigrant families may hold on to more traditional arrangements, while younger couples in urban areas may strive for egalitarian partnerships. Same sex couples often create new role arrangements that move beyond traditional gender expectations.

In short, marriage and partnerships reflect both continuity and change. Gender socialization continues to shape how couples divide labor and express emotions, but contemporary families are also experimenting with new models of equality and flexibility.

Parenting and Gender Socialization

Parenting is one of the most direct ways that families teach gender roles. From the moment a child is born, parents model and reinforce ideas about what it means to be male or female. This can be as simple as the words they use, the activities they encourage, or the behaviors they reward.

For example, a father who cooks dinner regularly shows that household tasks are not only the work of mothers. A mother who encourages her son to express his feelings challenges the idea that boys should be emotionally reserved. In these ways, parents can either reinforce traditional gender roles or create opportunities for children to explore a wider range of behaviors.

Chores, clothing choices, and play all remain important. Parents often assign tasks based on gender expectations, but conscious choices to mix responsibilities can help children see that skills and roles are not limited by gender. Encouraging both sons and daughters to participate in cooking, cleaning, and caregiving teaches children that both men and women can take on multiple roles in family life.

Same sex parents provide additional examples of flexibility in gender socialization. Without traditional gendered expectations embedded in their own roles, they often encourage children to try activities and express themselves without being limited by male or female norms. Families from different cultural or class backgrounds also show variation, demonstrating that gender socialization is shaped by more than biology—it is shaped by culture, context, and individual choices.

Ultimately, parenting is a powerful way that families influence the next generation. By modeling behaviors and guiding expectations, parents set the stage for how children will understand gender in relationships, work, and family life.

Intersectionality and Gender Socialization

Not all families experience gender socialization in the same way. Factors such as race, class, and culture shape how children learn what it means to be male or female. Sociologists call this intersectionality, the idea that multiple aspects of identity interact to create different experiences of privilege and constraint.

For example, working class families often encourage both boys and girls to contribute to the household and to take responsibility for earning money at a younger age. Middle class families may focus more on preparing children for future careers and promoting educational achievement, which can influence how gender roles are emphasized. Cultural background also matters. Immigrant families may pass down traditional gender expectations from their countries of origin, while African American families often teach independence and resilience to both daughters and sons.

Gender socialization also interacts with family structure and community. Children in single parent households, blended families, or same sex parent families may experience more flexibility in gender roles. These families often distribute household tasks and responsibilities based on practicality and preference rather than traditional gender norms.

Understanding intersectionality helps us see that gender socialization is not uniform. It is shaped by the overlapping influences of family, culture, class, and social context. By considering these factors, we can better understand why family experiences with gender vary widely and how children learn to navigate these expectations in everyday life.

Contemporary Shifts

Families today are changing in ways that influence gender socialization. Marriage and parenting no longer follow a single pattern, and new family forms are becoming more common. Same sex couples, blended families, and households with nonbinary members challenge traditional ideas about who does what in a family.

Many couples now strive for equality in both paid work and household responsibilities. Fathers are more involved in childcare and household tasks, while mothers often maintain careers outside the home. These changes reflect shifting cultural expectations and a growing awareness of the importance of sharing labor and emotional work in families.

Media and technology also play a role. Television, movies, social media, and online communities expose children and teens to a wider variety of role models and family forms than ever before. Young people today can see examples of fathers who cook and care for children, mothers who lead companies, and families that do not fit traditional gender norms.

Despite these changes, traditional gender messages persist. Many children still receive cues from families, peers, and media about what is expected of boys and girls. The challenge for modern families is to navigate these pressures while fostering flexibility, equality, and respect for individual choices.

In short, gender socialization continues to shape family life, but contemporary shifts demonstrate that families have the power to redefine what it means to be male, female, or neither. By embracing flexibility and challenging old norms, families can help the next generation grow up with a broader understanding of gender roles and possibilities.

Opportunities

Access to education and fair pay are essential components of gender equality. Historically, women faced barriers in formal education and professional work, which limited their economic and social opportunities. In many parts of the world, girls were denied primary schooling, and women were often restricted from careers that matched their skills and training.

Globally, progress has been made. Initiatives by the United Nations, UNICEF, and other organizations have increased access to primary and secondary education for girls, particularly in regions where they were previously excluded. Educated women are more likely to protect their children’s health, advocate for their rights, and participate in economic and civic life. Even in the U.S., women now earn the majority of college degrees. Projections show that female college enrollment and graduation rates continue to rise, reflecting decades of efforts to remove barriers based on gender.

Wage disparities persist, but awareness and advocacy have led to incremental improvements. Historically, women earned less than men due to assumptions about reproductive roles, reliability, and workplace commitment. Today, these assumptions are increasingly challenged, and more women are entering high-paying and traditionally male-dominated fields, from medicine to engineering. Organizations like the Society of Women Engineers and national policy efforts support merit-based hiring and advancement.

By expanding educational opportunities and access to professional work, societies can tap into the talents and perspectives of women, fostering innovation, economic growth, and social development. Understanding these opportunities, and the barriers that remain, is essential for creating more equitable societies and maximizing the potential of all members.

Conclusion

Gender socialization begins in the family and continues throughout life, shaping how children learn to understand themselves and others. From childhood play and chores to adolescent dating scripts, families provide the first lessons about what it means to be male, female, or somewhere in between. These lessons carry into adulthood, influencing how couples organize marriages, divide labor, and manage emotional responsibilities.

Parenting plays a key role in modeling and reinforcing gender roles, but families have the power to challenge traditional patterns. Intersectionality reminds us that experiences of gender are not uniform; race, class, culture, and family structure all shape how children learn and perform gender.

Today, families are experimenting with new ways of sharing responsibilities, raising children, and defining relationships. While traditional gender messages still exist, contemporary shifts show that families can teach flexibility, equality, and respect for individual choices. By understanding gender socialization in all its forms, we see how families both shape and respond to the changing landscape of gender in society.