4.4: Short-Term vs. Long-Term Relationships
- Page ID
- 296008
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Short-term relationships tend to have a relatively brief period between acquaintance and the onset of sexual relations. Many short-term relationships have fantasy elements, in that one or both partners view the relationship in unrealistic terms and inflate its good qualities to better match the fantasy.
Short-term relationships often have:
- More drama and conflict
- More infidelity or absence of loyalty, especially when apart
- Intensity focused on appearance and social impressions
- Overemphasis on physical and sexual expressions, which may soothe anxious hearts rather than solve relational problems
It could be argued that newly formed relationships suffer from sexual “medication,” where relational problem-solving would be better suited. Finally, there is a deep need for the other partner to measure up to something they are not.
Long-Term Relationships
Long-term relationships may begin with some of the same traits as short-term ones. But over time, both partners transition out of the newness and superficialities into long-term maintenance of rapport.
Characteristics of long-term relationships include:
- Friendships proven over time, trial, and everyday mundane exposure
- Sexual relationship as an adjunct to the overall relationship, not the focus
- Intimacy deepened and sustained by loyalty, devotion, and exclusive fidelity
- Forgiveness is possible and often provided because each knows both are human and prone to make mistakes
- Exclusivity and remaining faithful to each other
- Interdependence and provision of space and individuality (mutual independence)
- Elements of altruism and nurturance (even if not reciprocated all the time)
- Provision of help in medical, emotional, relational, and familial areas of need
- Sexual intercourse requires negotiation and mutual agreement
Below is a table of characteristics of short-term vs. long-term relationships.
Figure \(\PageIndex{3}\). Comparison of Characteristics of Short-term and Long-term Relationships