10: Dark Side

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Chapter Overview

The dark side of interpersonal communication refers to communication behaviors that can negatively affect relationships, self-esteem, trust, safety, and well-being. Communication can fall on the light or dark side depending on the situation, the type and closeness of the relationship, the intentions behind the behavior, how often it occurs, how severe it is, power differences, and whether it interferes with basic psychological needs.

Negative relational communication can take many forms, including deception, gaslighting, jealousy, secret tests, gossip, verbal and emotional abuse, bullying, physical aggression, intimate partner violence, and harmful social media behaviors. These behaviors can sometimes have neutral or even positive purposes, but they can become harmful when they involve manipulation, control, repeated aggression, or damage to another person's trust, self-esteem, relationships, or safety. Recognizing these behaviors and using communication skills such as assertiveness, boundary setting, perception checking, and support seeking can help people respond more effectively.

A man stands with his face covered by his hands against a black background with bright lights. — Figure \(\PageIndex{1}\): A distressed man illustrates how harmful communication can contribute to emotional distress, isolation, and diminished well-being. (CC0 1.0; Fotorech via Wikimedia Commons)

Chapter Objectives

Examine how context, relationships, intentions, frequency, and severity can affect whether communication is harmful.
Identify different forms of deception, gaslighting, jealousy, secret tests, and gossip.
Describe how verbal abuse, bullying, aggression, and intimate partner violence can affect people and relationships.
Identify the benefits and risks of social media communication, including cyberbullying, sexting, stalking, and disinhibition.
Describe healthy ways to respond to harmful communication, such as using assertiveness, setting boundaries, checking perceptions, seeking support, and prioritizing safety.

10.1: Introduction to the Dark Side of Communication
This section introduces the dark side of communication as an important component of interpersonal relationships that exists alongside positive relational communication. This section also explores how perceptions of acceptability, relational impact, power, closeness, frequency, severity, and psychological needs can influence whether communication behaviors are experienced as negative or harmful.
10.2: Aggression in Relationships
This section explains how harmful communication can range from verbal aggression and emotional abuse to social aggression, bullying, physical aggression, and intimate partner violence. It identifies patterns of manipulation, intimidation, humiliation, control, and violence while emphasizing the importance of recognizing warning signs, seeking support, and prioritizing safety when abuse occurs.
10.3: Deception and Gaslighting
This section defines deception and examines how omission, commission, and different motivations for deception can affect trust and other aspects of interpersonal relationships. This section also explores gaslighting, its common forms, and communication strategies that can help individuals recognize and respond to manipulative communication.
10.4: The Dark Side of Social Media
This section explores the benefits and risks associated with social media and social networking, with particular attention to how online communication can contribute to interpersonal and psychological harm. This section also identifies forms of harmful online communication, including cyberbullying, sexting, cyberstalking, hyperpersonal communication, disinhibition, and catfishing, and considers strategies for responding to the dark side of social media.
10.5: Chapter Review
This section examines the different forms of negative interpersonal communication and their effects on trust, self-esteem, relationships, and safety. It describes how behaviors such as deception, manipulation, aggression, abuse, bullying, and harmful social media use can become damaging and identifies strategies for responding to these behaviors effectively.
10.6: Keywords
This section offers important terms and concepts that appear throughout the content. These foundational ideas are bolded the first time they’re introduced.
10.7: Discussions and Exercises
This section contains resources for educators designed to be used both in and out of the classroom.
10.8: Alternative Descriptions for Chapter 10
This section provides more detailed descriptions for selected images in this chapter that require additional explanation for clarity.
10.9: References
This section lists the references cited in this chapter, offering evidence and support for the theories and concepts discussed.

Thumbnail: A woman with a sad expression shrouded in a black background. (CC0 1.0; Jiri Hodan via Wikimedia Commons)

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Chapter Objectives