4.1 Perception Checking

EXCUSE ME!  WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

 

It’s a common experience.  Someone says something, and the other party becomes deeply offended. Or, maybe someone gives another person a “look” and the person is deeply offended.  The following is a true story:

Case Study:  Polly and Liz had been best friends for over 20 years, ever since they both moved to the same town at about the same time.  Polly went to meet Liz at the airport, as she returned from a trip to Miami where she had been visiting her daughter.  As Liz walked up to Polly, Polly gave her a strange look.  No nasty words were exchanged on the drive to Liz’s home, but Polly never called Liz again, nor did she return Liz’s calls.  Eventually, Liz gave up trying to connect with her old friend. When Polly died, Liz refused to go to her funeral.  “I was so hurt by the end of our friendship,” she explained.

You’ll notice that what did not happen during the above true case study was Liz did not ask what the look was all about. 

Here’s another true story:

Case Study:  A businessman had had a successful relationship with a company for over 30 years, selling a service that renewed almost automatically.  As part of the renewal process, the businessman would invite the buyer to lunch at a local club.  But during Covid, the invitation went unanswered.  When written proposals were sent over, they, too, went unanswered.  Finally, he made one final attempt, sending an email:

“Dear Mike,

“I just want you to know that I am puzzled – hurt might be the better word – that all my attempts to reach out to you about renewing XYZ Corp.’s long-standing order have been unanswered.  If I have offended you in some way, I apologize.  I would very much like to rebuild the relationship if that is possible.”

He got back the following note:

“Dear Bob,

“I am so sorry.  I didn’t realize how you were interpreting my silence.  Because of Covid, I’ve been operating from Tampa, and have been in the office only a couple of days in the last two years, which is why I didn’t accept your luncheon invites.  And my budget was almost entirely wiped out except for personnel costs.  I’ll be returning to the office in September, and I’ll look forward to lunch!  As we start to rebuild the budget, I’ll be fighting hard to get funding for your service.”

This sort of thing happens all the time in life, both in our personal lives and our business lives and all too often it leads to the end of a solid relationship.  Sometimes a few misspoken words lead to the end of a marriage, not immediately, but they fester in the partner’s head. 

We owe it to ourselves and to our friends, business associates, and partners to nip bad feelings in the bud if at all possible.  The way to do this is a process called perception checking.

Perception checking is a three-step process:

Step 1:  Describe the behavior or situation without evaluating or judging it.  

Step 2:  Think of some possible interpretations of the behavior.  Was that strange look a result of the new dress Liz was wearing?  Or did she not seem happy to see Polly?

Step 3:  Explain how that made you feel, and ask for clarification from the other person’s perspective.

Now, note that perception checking does not have to be done in precisely this 1-2-3 sequence.  But all the steps have to be present.  In the business example, for instance, the note began with a discussion of how he felt, then went to the description of what had happened, and finally asked for clarification. 

One final point:  Perception checking can be used in business by customer service. Customer service can perform one of two roles.  It can simply process transactions, such as refunds for customers dissatisfied with the product or service.  Or it can be used to track issues and in turn improve the product or service.  Customer service representatives themselves generally don’t have the authority to deviate from their script.  But the technology that they use should be gathering the data necessary to, at the very least, detect product defects.

Ford Motor Co. wants to become a powerhouse in electric vehicles. That’s an expensive proposition:  Ford needs to shave costs by $3 billion a year to free up cash for new electric vehicle models and plants and to build battery plants.  One way is to add more monitoring of social media to find complaints flagged by customers.  How important is this work?  In 2021, it spent $4 billion on warranty repairs and recalls.  In other words, it’s theoretically possible to get that entire $3 billion just by cutting warranty and recall expense 75%!  (Eckert, 2022) When customers complain to customer service, or on social media, and the business follows up to learn more as well as to "make it right," that's a form of perception checking, too.

 

References

Eckert, N. (2022, Aug. 6).  At Ford, quality is now problem 1: Ford used to tout the reliability of its vehicles in ads.  After a string of recalls, the automaker is trying to change how it finds problems.  Wall Street Journal.  https://www.wsj.com/articles/at-ford...-1-11659758404