8: The Coping Self
- Page ID
- 247361
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\(\newcommand{\avec}{\mathbf a}\) \(\newcommand{\bvec}{\mathbf b}\) \(\newcommand{\cvec}{\mathbf c}\) \(\newcommand{\dvec}{\mathbf d}\) \(\newcommand{\dtil}{\widetilde{\mathbf d}}\) \(\newcommand{\evec}{\mathbf e}\) \(\newcommand{\fvec}{\mathbf f}\) \(\newcommand{\nvec}{\mathbf n}\) \(\newcommand{\pvec}{\mathbf p}\) \(\newcommand{\qvec}{\mathbf q}\) \(\newcommand{\svec}{\mathbf s}\) \(\newcommand{\tvec}{\mathbf t}\) \(\newcommand{\uvec}{\mathbf u}\) \(\newcommand{\vvec}{\mathbf v}\) \(\newcommand{\wvec}{\mathbf w}\) \(\newcommand{\xvec}{\mathbf x}\) \(\newcommand{\yvec}{\mathbf y}\) \(\newcommand{\zvec}{\mathbf z}\) \(\newcommand{\rvec}{\mathbf r}\) \(\newcommand{\mvec}{\mathbf m}\) \(\newcommand{\zerovec}{\mathbf 0}\) \(\newcommand{\onevec}{\mathbf 1}\) \(\newcommand{\real}{\mathbb R}\) \(\newcommand{\twovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\ctwovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\threevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cthreevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\mattwo}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{rr}#1 \amp #2 \\ #3 \amp #4 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\laspan}[1]{\text{Span}\{#1\}}\) \(\newcommand{\bcal}{\cal B}\) \(\newcommand{\ccal}{\cal C}\) \(\newcommand{\scal}{\cal S}\) \(\newcommand{\wcal}{\cal W}\) \(\newcommand{\ecal}{\cal E}\) \(\newcommand{\coords}[2]{\left\{#1\right\}_{#2}}\) \(\newcommand{\gray}[1]{\color{gray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\lgray}[1]{\color{lightgray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\rank}{\operatorname{rank}}\) \(\newcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\col}{\text{Col}}\) \(\renewcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\nul}{\text{Nul}}\) \(\newcommand{\var}{\text{Var}}\) \(\newcommand{\corr}{\text{corr}}\) \(\newcommand{\len}[1]{\left|#1\right|}\) \(\newcommand{\bbar}{\overline{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bhat}{\widehat{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bperp}{\bvec^\perp}\) \(\newcommand{\xhat}{\widehat{\xvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\vhat}{\widehat{\vvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\uhat}{\widehat{\uvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\what}{\widehat{\wvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\Sighat}{\widehat{\Sigma}}\) \(\newcommand{\lt}{<}\) \(\newcommand{\gt}{>}\) \(\newcommand{\amp}{&}\) \(\definecolor{fillinmathshade}{gray}{0.9}\)- Identifying the components of the Coping domain (as outlined by Myers and Sweeney) which includes leisure, stress-management, self-worth, and realistic beliefs.
- Exploration of each component of the Coping domain, how the client may be struggling, and techniques to assist the client achieve greater balance with recognizing and managing their ability to cope in the various areas.
The Coping Self
The Coping Self encompasses the areas of leisure, stress-management, self-worth, and realistic beliefs. Each individual develops a unique collection of personal characteristics that assist them in social interactions. All of these areas are related to our ability to transcend the trials and tribulations encountered in everyday life and experience a happier and healthier existence (Myers & Sweeney, 2004).
Leisure
Leisure is the purposeful engagement in activity that will enhance satisfaction in life, reinvigorate the individual, provide rest, offer the pursuit of pleasure, and relieve the stress that can accumulate from work. Leisure offers the opportunity to find balance between the stressors of work and life and mental and physical health and well-being (Cha, 2024).
Leisure can include anything from watching TV, to exercise, being in nature, and beyond. The dictionary defines leisure as “freedom provided by the cessation of activities; especially: time free from work or duties” (Merriam-Webster, n.d.).
Figure \(\PageIndex{1}\): Leisure activities helps improve your physical health and well-being. (Photo by Max Andrey from Pexels.)
The concept of environmental wellness also falls under this domain. Environmental wellness encompasses two areas. The first is the individual’s relationship with the natural world which includes the level of safety and comfort in nature, as well as the level of stewardship and respect for the resources and species we share the earth with. The second area involves enhancing wellness through occupying pleasant and stimulating personal environments at home and work.
Stress-Management
Stress-management has become almost a buzz word. Stress management is synonymous with self-care as we essentially cannot have one without the other. Stress management is exactly as it sounds, managing the level of stress in your life, however, is easier said than done.
Figure \(\PageIndex{2}\): Managing stress in your life is essential to well-being. (Photos by Antoni Shkraba Studio from Pexels (left), Vlada Karpovich from Pexels (right).)
The World Health Organization defines stress as a state of mental tension or worry caused by a difficult situation. How we respond to stress makes all the difference in functioning. Stress impacts humans both mentally and physically. A small amount of stress can be helpful and serve as motivation to accomplish things. Too much stress can quickly become detrimental to functioning, causing mental and emotional problems affecting effective functioning (World Health Organization, 2023).
Video \(\PageIndex{1}\): Chronic stress can affect brain size, its structure, and how it functions. ("How stress affects your brain - Madhumita Murgia" by TED-Ed on YouTube.)
Signs of stress include anxiety and irritability making it hard for the individual to relax. Symptoms can include problems concentrating, stomachache, headache, other body pains, appetite losses or gains, and trouble sleeping. Many people will attempt to cope with these symptoms with ineffective coping strategies such as smoking, drinking, or other drugs. Stress can cause or exacerbate existing mental health problems. This can ultimately affect functioning in social and work situations (World Health Organization, 2023).
Self-Worth
Self-worth encompasses the areas of having a sense of personal value, personal identity, and imposter syndrome. As counselors, we see our clients deal with these kinds of issues frequently. Consequently, we see how having a poor sense of self-worth can affect an individual negatively.
The concepts of personal value and identity are most likely to stem from early childhood interactions with caregivers. When caregivers are emotionally available and form strong attachment bonds with an infant, the infant is likely to form a positive sense of personal value stemming from being deemed worthy by the caregiver. Object relations theory posits that a positive interaction with the caregiver will also likely engender a positive personal identity in the infant (Fonagy et al., 2007).
When caregivers, for a variety of reasons, do not effectively form strong attachment bonds or communicate the value of the child to them, problems with self-worth may occur. Low self-worth causes a variety of problems in functioning stemming from self-doubt and criticism, patterns of negative thinking, and feelings of shame, guilt, sadness, anxiety, and anger. These problems in thinking and feeling can lead to problems with motivation, relationships, and physical and mental health.
Figure \(\PageIndex{3}\): Affirmations can help rebuild self-worth from the inside out. (Photo by Tara Winstead from Pexels.)
Oftentimes, individuals with doubts such as these have a tendency toward perfectionistic personalities and perform as overachievers. Because they generally believe they are undeserving of their accomplishments they may exhibit what is known as imposter’s syndrome. They worry that their perceived lack of competence will be unveiled, and they will be outed as frauds.
Issues with low self-worth, lack of personal value, lack of personal identity, and imposter syndrome and the problems with functioning that they cause can be alleviated and improved with self-care practices.
Discovering and Celebrating Your Self-Esteem and Self-Worth worksheet [is there a link?]
What is Self-Worth and How Do We Build It? – Article and worksheets
Realistic Beliefs
The final area of the coping self is realistic beliefs. People derive both pleasure and pain from their beliefs. Realistic beliefs are different than the core beliefs we looked at in the cognition section in chapter three. In this context realistic beliefs refer to expecting the best and creating self-fulfilling prophesies. Realistic beliefs are neither optimistic or pessimistic, which are at opposite ends of the extreme. Being overly optimistic can lead to disappointment when things don’t work out as anticipated, consequently being overly pessimistic is a sure bet which never leads to disappointment. The concept of loss aversion posits that we feel twice as much pain from loss as from gain. For example, getting a raise of $5,000 may seem like a loss if you were expecting $10,000. Being unrealistically optimistic can set you up for major disappointment. When you think more realistically, or in the middle, you are much more likely to rationalize and think critically which leads to the expectation of more reasonable outcomes (de Meza & Dawson, 2020).
Don’t Confuse Realistic Thinking with Negative Thinking – Blog article
Of the areas of the Coping section in chapter seven (leisure, stress-management, self-worth, and realistic beliefs) how often have you seen clients struggle in these areas? What is your comfort level in helping clients with each of these areas?
These reflection questions are also available as a PDF download: The Coping Self
References
Cha, Y.-J. (2024). A longitudinal study on changes in weekend leisure time by age groups in Korea (1999-2019). BMC Public Health, 24, Article 552. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-024-18101-z
de Meza, D., & Dawson, C. (2020). Neither an optimist nor a pessimist be: Mistaken expectations lower well-being. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 47(4), 540-550. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167220934577
Fonagy, P., Gergely, G., & Target, M. (2007). The parent-infant dyad and the construction of the subjective self. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 48(3-4), 288-328. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2007.01727.x
Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Leisure. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved April 4, 2024, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/leisure
Myers, J. E., & Sweeney, T. J. (2004). The indivisible self: An evidence-based model of wellness. Journal of Individual Psychology, 60(3), 234-245.
World Health Organization. (2023, February 21). Stress. https://www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/stress