3.1: Diversity of Families
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Contemporary Families
What does family mean to you? Whom do you think of when you define family? Do you see your family represented in the "dominant culture"? Think about how that may influence your ideas and shape the ways in which you interact with families that are served in early learning environments as the role of an early learning professional is to ensure that all children and families are valued and supported in the early learning environment.
To begin our study of contemporary families in the United States, we will first define a concept that is important for us to understand as it relates to the content of this textbook: social constructions. A social construction is a mutual understanding and accepted reality created by members of a society: something that is not determined by biology or the natural world. Is there anything that humans have created that holds no real value in the natural world, yet we have assigned a great deal of value to it? If you are thinking of cash, you’re right on the money. Humans have determined that certain pieces of paper and metal objects are worth an agreed-upon value. For example, in the United States, a one dollar bill is worth 100 times the value of a penny. One of the ways that we can tell money is a social construction is that it varies from culture to culture and over time. When you visit another country, the United States dollar bill has to be “exchanged” for money that has a different appearance and value. Compare money with another thing of value to human beings: air. Air is needed by all human beings to survive. The need for air and its value do not change over time or from culture to culture.
What does this have to do with families? While studying families, we must continually remind ourselves that the idea of the family, and in particular the internalized belief that there is a “traditional family,” is a social construction. What is a "traditional family"? I suspect that we can each paint a picture in our heads, based on the years each of us has been exposed to portrayals of families in institutions such as the media, schools, government, and health care. Generally, the traditional American family has been identified as the nuclear family, most often represented as a male and female heterosexual married couple who is middle class, White, and with several children. When society or the individuals within a society designate one kind of family to be "traditional", this may imply a value, or a preference, for this kind of family structure with these particular social characteristics. This is sometimes called the “Leave it to Beaver” family after the popular sitcom television show that ran from 1957 until 1963. A current popular sitcom, Modern Family, which just concluded its 11th season in 2020, also features this "traditional" family, but includes two other families which feature people of other ethnic groups, and a same-sex couple. Together they form an extended family who all live in the same town. It is important to note, however, that the primacy of the upper middle-class, White family image continues to be emphasized as the "norm". As early learning professionals, our role is to look at how this social construct impacts the way in which we interact with all families to ensure that we are serving all of the children and their families in our program with cultural responsiveness.
In more modern times, the traditional definition of family has been criticized as being too narrow. Modern families—especially those in industrialized societies—exist in many forms and always have, including the single parent family, foster families, same-sex couples, child free families, and many other variations from traditional norms. Common to each of these family forms is commitment, caring, and close emotional ties—which are increasingly the defining characteristics of family (Benokraitis, 2015). The changing definition of family has come about, in part, because of many factors that include divorce and re-marriage. In many cases, people do not grow up with their family of origin, but become part of a step family or blended family. Whether a single-parent, joint, or two-parent family, a person’s family of origin, or the family into which he or she is born, generally acts as the social context for young children learning about relationships.
According to Bowen (1978), each person has a role to play in his or her family, and each role comes with certain rules and expectations. This system of rules and roles is known as family systems theory. The goal for the family is stability: rules and expectations that work for all. When the role of one member of the family changes, so do the rules and expectations. Such changes ripple through the family and cause each member to adjust his or her own role and expectations to compensate for the change. We will discuss family systems theory later on in this chapter as it helps to inform us about the different ways in which families social-emotional life varies.
As we study families we must keep in mind that this idea of the "traditional" family is not representative of all families, yet it is continually reinforced by the social processes and institutions in our society. Media in particular continually reminds us of what families are “supposed to” look like. Whether you consume big-budget films, social media platforms, video games, and/or books and magazines, take a look. What kind of people and families do you see represented? While representation of women, people of color, and people of differing sexualities and gender expressions has increased in media, they still predominantly play less consequential characters within the plot lines. Although the majority of families in the United States no longer fit the traditional model (3) social institutions perpetuate the idea of a certain family structure. Government, schools, medical institutions, businesses, and places of worship all reinforce a typical view of family through the forms, activities, requirements, and processes that are shared with the public. How many times have you tried to fill out a form with checkboxes only to find that you did not “fit” into one of the boxes? Typical examples include giving parental choices of “mother” and “father,” couple status choices such as “married” or “single,” and gender choices such as “male” or female,” all of which reinforce a binary view of individuals and families. The preference for an idealized traditional family type contributes to less social support for families who don’t fit this type: for example, single-parent families, LGBTQ+ families, rural families, or families with a member who is disabled, unemployed, or who has a criminal record.
Figure 3.3 This was how we tended to think of families in the past.
The Diversity of Today’s Families
The landscape of families has changed considerably over the last few decades. It is not that diverse families have never existed; it is that in today’s society, we are making places at the table for this diversity. The images that we used to see of families, on television, in magazines, on billboards, and other media images portrayed the typical family as a mother, father, two children usually one male child and one female child that lived in a house with a white picket fence. Today, we elevate and value diverse families. Following are definitions of many of the family structures today that early learning professionals must embrace as our role is to serve all of the children and families that attend our early learning programs.
Dual parent family
This is often referred to as a mother and father raising children. However, if we think about the diversity of families this could include same sex parents as they are also raising children together.
Single parent
This could be a male or female parent who either wants to be a parent and doesn’t have a partner to create a child with or is raising children on their own due to divorce. Often, we think of single parents as female, but today as we continue to form acceptance of family structures, there are males who are also choosing to form a family on their own or raise their children (from divorce) on their own. Another aspect of single parenting is when there is the death of a spouse and the remaining spouse chooses not to remarry.
Grandparents or other relatives raising children
Children whose parents are not able to care for them (for whatever reason), may be raised by their maternal or paternal grandparents or may be raised by extended family members including those family members that are not related biologically.
Teen parents
Today it is more acceptable for teens who become pregnant to raise a child. Sometimes they may do this together or separate. Sometimes they may do this with the help of their families. Teens who become pregnant while still in high school are often able to return to school and there are programs on high school campuses where teens may bring their child. They may receive parenting classes in addition to their high school curriculum.
Adoptive families (including transracial adoption)
Families who are not able to conceive a child on their own may choose adoption. While this tends to be most common, there are families who consciously choose adoption over procreation as well as decide to add to their family through adoption. In any case, forming a family through adoption is a choice that is not taken lightly. There are many options in forming your family through adoption. You can choose to have an open or closed adoption. Open adoption refers to having a continued relationship with the birth parent(s) to just knowing who the birth parents are and everything in between. Closed adoption means that the family does not have access to birth parent(s) information. In addition, families may choose to adopt a child of the same race or of another race. They may choose to adopt nationally or internationally.
Resource families (formerly referred to as Foster Families)
Children placed in temporary care due to extenuating circumstances involving their family of origin are often placed in homes licensed to care for children. The adults who care for these children must go through strict protocols in order to provide the support and care that these vulnerable children will need. The most common name for this arrangement is fostering, but you may also hear them described as resource families. In these cases, it is the intent to reunite the children with their family of origin whenever possible. When this is not possible, the children are placed in the system to be adopted. The foster family may decide to adopt the children or another family may adopt the children. It is always the intent to find a permanent arrangement for children whenever possible, as we know that stability has better outcomes for children.
Families with same sex parents
Same sex couples, whether two men or two women, may choose to form a family and raise the children together. There are many ways in which they may decide to form their family. They may adopt, they may use reproductive technology, or they may use egg or sperm donors. In the case where two women are choosing to form a family, they may decide to have one of them become pregnant and give birth to their child. According to recent research into children raised by same sex parents, there is evidence to suggest that since these children are planned, they often have better outcomes than originally was believed.
Bi-racial/Multi-racial families
These are children who are raised by parents from two different races, including parents who may be bi-racial themselves. This also includes multi-racial families. Society is becoming more acceptable of diversity within families, which provides children with better outcomes.
Families with multi-religious/faith beliefs
There are children today raised in multi-religious homes. This means that each parent may have different faiths/religions. They may choose one faith/religion or both in raising their children.
Children with an incarcerated parent(s)
Sometimes children are raised by one parent while the other parent is incarcerated. This can be complicated for the family as the parent may spend some time away and then return home. While the parent who is incarcerated is away, the family structure changes. Each time the parent goes away and comes back it adds to this confusion. Sometimes, children whose parent(s) are incarcerated may live in foster care or a resource home while their parent is away and be returned to the parent upon their release, if it is safe for the child to do so.
Unmarried parents who are raising children
Today, many parents are deciding not to marry but to raise children. The only difference is that they do not have a legal marriage license; however, their family structure is the same as dual parent families whether opposite sex or same sex.
Transgender parents raising children
This refers to two ways in which children may be raised by a transgender parent or parents. A parent may transition after already having children with someone of the opposite sex or they may transition prior to having a child and decide they want to parent.
Blended families
A blended family can be two different parents that come together each bringing their children from a previous relationship with them. Sometimes the parents that come together with children from a previous relationship may also decide to have a child together.
Families formed through reproductive technology
Today we have sophisticated medical advances to help parents who are infertile to become pregnant and give birth to their biological child as well as to use the biological material from someone else and carry that fertilized embryo to term. There are a variety of reproductive technology that is available to families. This is often at a huge financial cost to the families, as most medical insurance companies do not cover the medical expenses of becoming pregnant.
First time older parents
Today it is becoming more common for men and women to have children in their 30’s, 40’s, and even older. There are many reasons why men and women may wait to become parents. It may be due to infertility. It may be that the man and/or woman want to establish themselves in a career prior to having children. It may be that they wanted to have financial security before starting a family. What is important is to not assume why someone is parenting at an older age.
Families who experience homelessness
We know that some children are raised without a stable home. The family may be living in their car, living in a hotel, a homeless shelter, or living in multiple dwellings also known as couch surfing. Families experiencing homelessness may be due to the loss of a job/steady income, being employed by making minimal wages that do not provide the means necessary to sustain housing (and other basic necessities), or other issues that may complicate the family’s ability to sustain a stable place to live. Families do not always share their homeless status as there is often shame and embarrassment that society places on these families.
Families with children who have developmental delays and disabilities
This refers to families who have a child or children with developmental delays and/or disabilities. These delays/disabilities are varied. There also may be typically developing children in the family as well. This often places a burden on families, not only because of the time needed to care for a child who is not typically developing, but because society often misinterprets children who display behaviors that may be viewed as inappropriate.
Families raising their children in a culture not their own and in which English is not the primary language
This refers to families who may have immigrated here and whose children were either born in their country of origin or born in the United States. This duality of cultures can create problems for the child and their family if societal expectations are that the family acculturate to the dominant culture. This results in children feeling shame about their family when they should feel pride in their family of origin.
In reviewing all of the families above, how do you see your role as an early learning professional in supporting these families in your early learning programs? What level of comfort do you have? What may be challenging for you? What are some strategies that you could use to help you in working on the biases that you may have?
There is evidence that supports that children exist in many different family structures. It is our responsibility as early childhood professionals to provide supportive and inclusive interactions, relationships and environments for each and every family in our early childhood programs. This can be accomplished through our ability to be open, inviting, and to listening to what the families in our program need from us to feel a sense of belonging.
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"Principles and Practices" by Stephens, Peterson, and Eyrich is licensed under CC BY 4.0 / A derivative from the original work