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18.9: Attachment and Separation Anxiety

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  • Page ID
    141554

    • Amanda Taintor & Wendy Ruiz
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    Separation Anxiety

    All children and teens feel some anxiety. It is a normal part of growing up. Separation anxiety is normal in very young children. Nearly all children between 18 months and 3 years old have separation anxiety and are clingy to some degree.[1]

    Even securely attached toddlers find separation challenging. Separation anxiety can be seen in many forms. As caregivers or parents, we might see it in various ways. Some characteristics that infants and toddlers may experience are :

    • Tears at drop off
    • Asking to be held during transition times or for long periods throughout the day
    • Extra clingy during transitions
    • Challenges with nap, diapering, mealtime
    • Night terrors during sleep at home, or calling out a parent's name during sleep
    • Intense reactions and behaviors to situations that would not normally impact them.
    How to support children during separation anxiety

    Age

    Developmental Stage

    What You Can Do

    Birth to 8 months

    Although infants recognize a voice, face, smell, and caregiving style, as long as their needs are being met they can easily be comforted by another caregiver.

    A new caregiver may not immediately be able to read a baby's unique cues for attention, diaper changes, and hunger. The caregiver can observe the baby with the parent to learn as much as possible about how they communicate needs.

    8 months to 2 years

    During this stage of development, it is expected that separation anxiety begins, and children may become frightened and upset when their parents leave.

    Reminding children that mommy or daddy always comes back can help ease fears. Transitional objects such as a special blanket or soft, snuggly toy can also alleviate anxiety. Providing experiences that focus on sensory exploration can be calming when children are distressed.

    2 to 5 years

    Preschoolers usually handle separation reasonably well, but life stresses like a new sibling, problems in the family or a new caregiver can trigger separation anxiety.

    Sometimes children cope by regressing to earlier behavior like tantrums, thumb sucking, or baby talk. Reading children's books with separation themes can help your children with their feelings. Providing opportunities for children to role-play using puppets can help them work through their feelings of fear or sadness.

    How to support children during separation anxiety[1]

    [1] https://www.cedars-sinai.org/health-...-children.html

    [1] Children’s Home Society of California - Family Education Program - Separation Anxiety Easing the transition from home to child care - www.chs-ca.org

    This page titled 18.9: Attachment and Separation Anxiety is shared under a mixed 4.0 license and was authored, remixed, and/or curated by Amanda Taintor & Wendy Ruiz.