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16: Remarriage and Stepfamilies

  • Page ID
    308886
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    Learning Objectives

    At the end of this chapter you will be able to do the following.

    • Define stepfamily, remarriage, enmeshed and other terminology related to remarriage and stepfamilies.
    • Discuss the complexity of stepfamilies.
    • Recall strategies for successful stepfamilies. Discuss dating after divorce.

    In December 2008, there were just over two million marriages and one million divorces in the U.S. \({ }^1\) There are many society-wide trends that undergird these marriage and divorce statistics. First, there is an \(86 \%\) probability for women and \(81 \%\) for men that they will marry by age \(40 ;^2\) second, about \(48.8 \%\) of women and \(50 \%\) of men had cohabited to some degree in the past; \({ }^3\) third, only about \(27 \%\) of women and \(33 \%\) of men married have never cohabited or been married before-this means they married for the first time with no cohabitation history; \({ }^4\) fourth, \(38.5 \%\) of all U.S. births are to unwed mothers; \({ }^5\) fifth, there is a pattern of marrying, divorcing, and remarrying and even divorcing a second time; \({ }^6\) and sixth, a 2001 study found that \(70 \%\) of currently married couples had the husband and wife both being in their first marriage-this means \(30 \%\) were in a second, third, or greater marriage. \({ }^7\)

    Thus, most people in the U.S. will marry, some for the first time, some who've been married or cohabiting, and some who've parented a baby out of wedlock. Many of those married persons will divorce at a future date. Many of those divorced persons will remarry (half to three-fourths). Some of those remarried persons will divorce (a second divorce). Some of those second divorced persons will remarry, etc. The U.S. is drawn to marriage, yet does not always get it right the first time. This simple statistically-based principle, "your current marriage has the best odds of NOT ending in divorce and becoming a source of joy and strength for you" is worth remembering. Those odds of success are highest in the first marriage, second highest in the second marriage, and so on.

    • 16.1: Getting back into the Dating Market
      This page examines the intricacies of remarriage and dating after divorce, emphasizing that younger individuals often remarry more quickly, with men typically moving on sooner than women. Factors like financial stability, education, caregiving responsibilities, and the presence of children significantly influence relationship dynamics. Women face distinct challenges, particularly single mothers carrying emotional and financial burdens.
    • 16.2: Complexities of Stepfamilies
      This page explores the complexities of family dynamics, particularly in stepfamilies and bi-nuclear families formed through remarriage. It addresses legal and emotional challenges related to custody and support, noting the prevalence of children living with stepparents. The Circumflex Model by Olson is introduced, highlighting the importance of cohesion, adaptability, and communication.
    • 16.3: Strategies for Stepfamilies
      This page outlines strategies for enhancing stepfamily dynamics by addressing emotional challenges, such as grief from past relationships. Key tactics include recognizing losses, managing stepparent expectations, and encouraging gradual relationship development. Establishing rituals and clear communication about chores and discipline promotes fairness and cohesion.
    • 16.4: Sexual Boundaries
      This page discusses the importance of establishing strong boundaries in stepfamilies to prevent and address issues like inappropriate sexual behavior among children, often linked to past abuse. It emphasizes open communication about privacy and respect, while also acknowledging the challenges stepfamilies face.


    Footnotes

    1. retrieved 29 April, 2010 from Births, Marriages, Divorces, and Deaths: Provisional Data for 2008 http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nv.../nvsr57_19.pdf

    2. retrieved 29 April, 2010 “Marriage and Cohabitation in the United States:…Cycle 6 of the National Survey of Family Growth,” published in 2002 reported key findings about marriage trends in the US from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databri...19.htm#marital

    3. retrieved 29 April, 2010 from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/...3/sr23_028.pdf

    4. retrieved 29 April, 2010 from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/...3/sr23_028.pdf

    5. retrieved 29 April, 2010 from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarry.htm

    6. retrieved 29 April, 2010 from First Marriage Dissolution, Divorce, and Remarriage: United States Matthew D. Bramlett, Ph.D., and William D. Mosher, Ph.D., Division of Vital Statistics No. 323, May 31, 2001 http://www.cdc.go/nchs/data/ad/ad323.pdf

    7. retrieved 29 April, 2010 from Survey of Income and Program participation Wave 2 as reported at http://www.census.gov/prod/2005pubs/p70-97.pdf



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