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13: Communication

  • Page ID
    308870
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    Learning Objectives

    At the end of this chapter you will be able to do the following.

    • Define types of arguments
    • Distinguish between needs and wants
    • Relate how to improve communication
    • Apply the Leukemia of Arguments metaphor
    • Define marital entropy
    • Define mood and affect
    • Analyze how power is maintained

    Much research finds that good communication predicts marital success (see Gottman in Groom, 2001; Woodin, 2011), however Kearney and Bradbury (1995) find those who have strong marriages tend to also have positive, effective communication. No matter whether effective communication affects marital quality or the reverse, most people can stand to improve their communication skills.


    "You did."
    "No, I didn't."
    "Yes, you did."
    "No, if you remember it was you."
    "Humm, you may be right."
    "I told you so!"
    "No, you didn't."
    "Yes, I did..."

    • 13.1: Arguments.
      This page discusses how arguments can become non-directional and blame-focused, hindering resolution of underlying issues. Researchers like Markman and Gottman emphasize the importance of addressing core concerns rooted in values and needs. A case study illustrates how unmanaged emotions can lead to harmful exchanges instead of constructive dialogue. To effectively resolve conflicts, couples must learn to argue constructively, prioritizing understanding and support over retaliation.
    • 13.2: Improving Communication
      This page outlines problem resolution strategies for couples, highlighting the importance of mutual respect and care. It emphasizes negotiating win-win solutions, accepting differences, and self-change for harmony. Regular practice in resolving minor disputes helps strengthen relationships and prevent major conflicts. The concept of "Marital Entropy" illustrates that maintenance is crucial for stability.
    • 13.3: Non-Verbal Communication
      This page emphasizes the significance of non-verbal communication, detailing elements such as touch, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, personal space, and body positioning. It notes gender differences, with women being more expressive and affectionate compared to men. The page explains how gestures and eye contact can complement verbal communication but may also show vulnerability.
    • 13.4: Avoiding Communication
      This page emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and conflict in relationships, indicating that embracing vulnerabilities reflects love. It highlights how fear negatively impacts communication, often fueled by unfounded fears. The page explores gender communication differences, contrasting John Gray's biological perspective with Deborah Tannen's socialization approach.
    • 13.5: Power
      This page examines power dynamics in communication through the lens of Conflict Theory, focusing on the uneven distribution of power. It introduces the principle of least interest, suggesting that the less invested partner has more power in relationships. The text highlights the fluctuations of power in daily interactions, noting that women often bear more responsibility for relationship maintenance in heterosexual contexts.

    References

    Floyd, K. (2002). Human affection exchange: V. Attributes of the highly affectionate. Communication Quarterly, 50, 135-152.

    Floyd, K., & Morman, M. T. (1998). The measurement of affection communication. Communication Quarterly, 46, 144-162.

    Frankl, V. E. Man’s search for meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press.

    Gable, S.L., Gonzaga, G.C., Strachmann, A. (2006). Will you be there for me when things go right? Supportive responses to positive event disclosures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(5), 904-917.

    Gottman, J. & DeClaire, J. (2002). The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.

    Groom, J. (2001). What works in premarital counseling? Journal of Pastoral Counseling, 36, 46- 59.

    Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (1995). The longitudinal course of marital quality and stability: A review of theory, method, and research. Psychological Bulletin, 118, 3–34.

    MacNeil, S., Byers, E.S. (2005). Dyadic assessment of sexual self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction in heterosexual dating couples. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 169-181.

    Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for Your Marriage: A Deluxe Revised Edition of the Classic Best-seller for Enhancing Marriage and Preventing Divorce. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.

    Myers, S. (2015). Using Gold's typology of adult sibling relationships to explore sibling affectionate communication. North American Journal of Psychology, 17(2), 301-310.

    Tannen, D. (2007). You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. Fort Mill, SC: Quill.

    Woodin, E. M. (2011). A two-dimensional approach to relationship conflict: Meta-analytic findings. Journal of Family Psychology, 25, 325–335.


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